Men Attracting Women – Page 5 – The Official Blog Of Scot McKay

Three Tips For Guys Who Are Starting Out

In today’s post I’m going to try to break down some of the things that I did when I was starting out on this journey that I believe helped me out.

First, I recommend getting some friends/wingmen who are also along this journey.

I met 4 guys early on after I joined a forum. These guys were also from Sydney, and didn’t have that creepy vibe that many guys in the community give out. The advantage of having friends who are on the same, or similar, path as you is that you have someone to just vent with, someone who can push you, and someone you can just chill with.

It is possible to take this journey on your own, but its a hell of a lot more fun when you have like minded guys coming with you. A good place to meet like minded individuals is on www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum or on the forums at www.pickuppodcast.com where they have a whole section dedicated to finding wingmen.

My second tip was actually given to me by one of my wingmen. Write a blog. There are many places where you can go to write a blog, www.blogspot.com is one example.

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Five Ways To Get Women To Approach You

This Is Not What I'm Talking About Here’s a question I get all the time: “Hey Scot, how do I know when a woman is interested in me? And how can I get women to approach me first?”

Okay, that’s actually two questions. But you get the point.

Well, we all know that women are typically subtle creatures. They aren’t often going to come whack you upside the melon with a 2×4 and announce, “Hey stoopid…I’m into you.”

On second thought, maybe in certain parts of Brooklyn and/or Queens that could happen. And having gone to school in downtown Filthydelphia, I might have to make an exception there also.

But I digress.

Even though most guys habitually miss women’s subtle indicators of interest, all is not lost. In fact, this post is dedicated to lazy guys everywhere who want to hit the “easy button” and bypass all of the Chick Whispering altogether.

Here, at long last, are five bona-fide ways you can get women to approach you for a change.

Let’s get on with it…

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Rejection And The Rules Of Approach [Part Two]

As promised in Part One, let me give you an example from my Saturday night.

One group was sitting awkwardly at the bar, in a big circle they made with a bunch of meathead looking guys to their right. I could not tell if they were friends or not.

One other girl looked completely miserable, while her friend was completely coddled by a guy. Yet another girl gave me a huge long up and down look then she went to the bar and was nearly lying on it talking to the bartender.

A second group, well they all had on rings and then their husbands came over.

In another group was a cute bunch of girls who just walked in, and were smiling and laughing.

Now, I was hoping the band would take a break soon because it was simply way too hard to talk. I had surveyed my options, and it was almost like a fun version of “musical chairs”.

So back to group one. They were sitting weirdly at the bar and one guy seemed to have a girlfriend in the group. I said, “Let’s walk around, they are not going anywhere for a bit.”

Now I have no problem approaching a group with guys but I like to study it a bit before deciding on a plan. Basically I look for wedding bands, really drunk guys or girls in the group, or an argumentative group.

Once talking to them, a key I look for is if the girls are kinda interested when talking to them, with matching body language. When I see that, I know I have an opportunity to open the group and basically just begin talking.

Continue reading “Rejection And The Rules Of Approach [Part Two]”

Rejection And The Rules Of Approach [Part One]

Two limiting beliefs come to mind for me in night game, and any time overall, really.

These involve rejection and the so-called rules of approach. Too many times we wrap ourselves up in both of these things with certain stigmas and beliefs and end up adding way too much to the whole thing.

Rejection: In my opinion, rejection is your greatest tool to learn how to move forward. Yet, society shows and tells a different story.

We have seen it, right? Guy goes up to girl, drink is thrown. This is so rare in reality, but guys really do think it will happen.

More realistic is this scenario. Guy talks to girl, girl blows off guy. Guy goes and complains about it to his buddies, they say, “Well you tried.” Guy goes home and feels self pity and complains more…to himself.

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Sexual Chocolate

You Know You Want Some, Ladies Despite its provocative title, this post actually has nothing to do with the classic Eddie Murphy reference from Coming To America.

Rather, there was a comment on the forum by Recce_God31 that I found so intriguing that I wanted to answer it here. The context is online dating secrets:

You want me to reveal MY SECRETS… well ok…. lol

I don’t recall the exact time I started using it but I had been noticing that many girls would mention it in their profiles so I just started using it verbatim.

What is this topic you ask? Its chocolate!! I can’t say I’ve ever met a girl that doesn’t enjoy eating chocolate. In my initial contact I will usually make a comment about her profile or ask a “serious” question. Then I try a have a funny segue into finding out if she is a fan of chocolate and what type is her favorite. I estimate that I get about an 70-80% response rate, I should start keeping a record of its performance.

Scot, why do you think this? Maybe Emily could shed some light on the subject. I would love to hear her opinion.

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Train Game

Many guys spend way too many hours every year catching public transport, trains, buses, subways, ferries, etc. I used to have a 45 minute train trip every day to get to work, and 45 minutes on the train getting home.

That’s a lot of time.

On many of my trips I would see beautiful women, and I am sure you are in a similar situation. The question that was always on my mind was “How can I go and talk to her?”

Well I’m going to try to break it down for you guys today.

First, read back to my first post on Personal Brand Identity. This should help you get all your things in order.

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How To Approach Naturally Without Fear

I always wondered how to approach and start a conversation with the attractive women I would meet on the street, in a supermarket, or in a coffee shop.

At first, I felt that initial excitement arising within me, but this excitement quickly turned into a paralytic fear…Have you ever felt this paralyzing, soul-freezing fear?

Hot on the trail of this fear, a string of thoughts would emerge—‘I don’t know what to say!’ or ‘What will she think of me?’—followed by images of her rejecting you, telling you to ‘get lost!’ and people around laughing at your humiliation.

I, for one, have surely felt it!

Finally, you might either psyche yourself to approach her or find a seemingly ‘good’ excuse to justify why you aren’t approaching her, such as ‘She’s way above my league’, ‘I’m not dressed for the occasion’, ‘Maybe next time–I’m in a hurry’, or ‘She’s not hot enough for me’.

Reasons for this so-called approach anxiety are many, and they are mainly due to social conditioning and our own negative experiences of the past. Let’s not explore these reasons any further—this has already been done repeatedly in many sources! I’d rather give you some practical advice on how to overcome this anxiety, from what I learnt through my own experiences of talking to about 1,000 women over the past 5 years, as well as what I have learnt from the vast experience of my friends.

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Personal Brand Identity

In the corporate world brand identity is very important as it makes a product more memorable. If we use Coca Cola as an example, they have a very recognisable brand.

They have their red swirly pattern all over everything.

All their bottles have it and all of their staff wear it (in some form or another). It’s on their business cards, letterhead and even in bright lights on their head office.

By having such a solid brand identity, you can easily recognise them as Coke.

Now how do we convert this idea of branding for companies and products to ourselves?

We need to think in terms of how we present ourselves–our lives and how we look-as our brand.

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Discomfort and Awareness: A Tale of Two Dates

Consider two separate dates with two different women:

Scenario 1: It was a gorgeous Wednesday before a long weekend. I awoke from a full night’s sleep ready to conquer the world by lunch, and cure cancer by dinner. And I did (almost), giving a very well-received client presentation and setting a personal best on the bench press that morning. The winds of fate were at my back—if I didn’t have a very intriguing first date that night, I should have hit Mohegan Sun’s blackjack tables.

Scenario 2: Weather.com predicted scattered thunderstorms all week—I chose Tuesday because it was one of two free nights in the next two weeks. The PowerPoint slide swam before me, as last night’s four hours sleep were catching up to me. I had tried to hit the weights, but the mental haze was just too strong. I compromised my form on an overhead press and tweaked my trapezius muscle hard. I couldn’t hold my neck straight. I adjusted my collar in the mirror and a zombie stared back. How was I going to make it to—let alone through—that night’s date?

It wouldn’t follow logically that Date #1 ended with a tepid hug, while Date #2 with a passionate sunset kiss on Boston Common and an enthusiastic request for a second date, would it?

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Online Dating: Loaded Down With Questions [Video]

OK, here’s yet another video blog for you, loaded down with online dating tips just for you.

And appropriately as such, this particular video considers what to do when someone you’ve just met starts loading you down with questions….

So tell me, I bet you can relate to this one, can’t you? Let’s hear your stories!

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. Tomorrow we’ll hear from new X & Y Communications coach Joseph Jensen for the first time. His style is a unique one, so get ready for something completely different for sure.

Body Language: From Russia With Love

Last night, I was watching From Russia with Love. Its one of the best Sean Connery Bond films, and it made me think a lot about my article, Body Language and your overall presentation.

Gentlemen, how you present yourself plays such an important role with MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) and everything in general. I am sure we have all heard the term “a picture paints a thousand words”. Well how you present yourself paints a lot more than that. I will go over a few key points.

Swagger, strut, walk the walk, and exude your frame.

What is it I mean by this?

Guys when you walk, so many times we are just moving our lower body, our head down, just bearing down at wherever. Pick that head up, relax your eyelids, and flow.

Picture yourself as if you are walking through a pool. Move your upper body, believe that you are a famed celebrity. Stick your chest out, and use good posture. Swing your arms a bit. Almost feel as if you are slowing down.

Smoothness is key. I really emphasize at first visualizing walking through a pool or some type of resistance. Let your shoulders and upper body move a bit. Look, observe, life is too short to keep your head down. I almost feel like I am leaning back and breathing in life and just loving it.

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Why Cold Approaches Are So Last Century

“Day game is my domain” he told me as we sat down for some lunch. My friend was known in our circle as a day game purist, with a style much different from mine.

He seemed to have an “on/off” switch.

Today, he planned to flip his “on” switch and had set aside this time to go sarging.

I was intrigued.

Had he established some kind of “anchor” where he would touch his arm and become “super-sarge”?

We finished our lunch and he led the way. I am glad he was leading because I had a lot on my mind and wasn’t really in a social mood. I was intrigued to see this “switch” being flipped.

Suddenly he stopped.

“What are we doing?” I asked.

“Looking for targets.”

We waited in the high traffic area watching people roll by. Yeah, we saw hot women.

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“And That’s Why I Don’t Eat Shrimp”

I'll eat THIS kind of shrimp, don't get me wrong.

Are you an NBA fan? If you watched the playoffs, then no doubt you saw the T-Mobile commercial where Charles Barkley is constantly calling D-Wade. Hilarious stuff, particularly when Chuck inanely spouts, “That’s why I don’t eat shrimp.”

Well, despite all the marketing hype in the Seduction Community about pulling the youngest hotties possible (especially if you’re an older guy), that’s pretty much how I feel about dating eighteen or nineteen year old girls, even if they are “legal”.

And for those of you who might be assuming that this is all a function of my current age, I’ve pretty much viewed the universe this way since I was 21, with a few scattered exceptions.

Not coincidentally, you see, at 21 years of age is when a guy in the United States (like me) can finally order a beer.

It’s not that the younger girls aren’t often really, really hot…you and I both know they are.

The deal is that it’s unnecessary to go through the inconvenience and hassle of dating them.

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Tap That: How Does Alcohol Affect Your Game? [Video]

You hit a bar or club, get a few drinks in you and you’re Superman with the women.

What’s up with that? Better yet, can you “bottle that up” and take a sip elsewhere…like during the day or even online?

It’s been a while…so here’s a video blog to brighten your day. Through the lips, over the gums…look out stomach, here it comes…

So what’s the deal? There’s gotta be some stories to share here. Let ’em rip…

Be Good,

Scot

The Chick Whisperer #21 — Greatness Gets Women

As usual, this episode has been a long time coming. It has been exactly two months since the last show.

What’s more my co-host this time should have been on ages ago.

I’m joined by none other than my good friend Carlos Xuma, the “Alpha Man” himself.

Count on a fluff-free discussion full of ways you can get on the road to attracting higher-quality women RIGHT NOW.

Now Carlos and I think a lot alike. We also both know you’re intelligent and can handle the truth. So that’s exactly what you’re going to hear on this show.

And here’s the deal: Once you hear what he and I throw out on the table in this 42-minute podcast, you’ll likely be empowered to “raise the bar” with women to a level you haven’t even dreamed of yet.

Simply put, we firmly believe that you can become a man who surrounds himself with 100% fantastic women. All that’s left now is for you to believe it also.

Just for good measure, we start off by tackling a voice mail from a guy who wants the low-down on how to develop a quicker wit and thereby increase his ability to banter effectively with women. Prepare for some surprising answers…

So click the pic above and “subscribe” on iTunes to get in on the action. Thanks again as always to you as a TCW listener for supporting the show.

No iTunes? Need the feed instead? It’s here.

This show was also the launching pad for a brand new bonus I’m giving out when you get in on the free newsletter at www.thechickwhisperer.com.

It’s a video collection entitled, “coolness personified” that I compiled. I’ve found over an hour’s worth of video featuring guys who genuinely demonstrate coolness–along with some who decidedly are the opposite.

My goal here was to be different. Everyone is giving out a “special e-report” or “free five minute video”, so I wanted to push the proverbial envelope here.

If you’re already getting the newsletter already, you can still snag it for yourself. All you do is log in with the same e-mail address you are already subscribed with.

Have fun with all this. We aim to please around here.

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. If you enjoy the show, PLEASE leave us a comment on iTunes and/or Digg this post. Mega thanks.

Why Monogamy Isn’t An Option To Most Of The Seduction Community

Here’s a question I received via Facebook that really caught my attention. So much so that I’m sharing the Q&A with you here. By the way, if you’d like to “friend” me on facebook, my profile is here.

While we’re at it, if you’re on Twitter my username is “scotmckay“.

Here we go:

Hey Scot:

I have an honest question for you. Though I’ve ribbed you on forums before about how you always talk about your wife, I think I am very similar to you in that respect. I have a very serious gf who I will soon get engaged to. She is a sweetheart. The PUA sites really push the concept of being poly-amorous. I guess if you’re a 20 year old kid you want to have fun, and we all have our heidonistic fantasies even when in a great relationship. But my question to you is: Do you think it’s wrong for these sites to push this poly-amorous concept?

Let’s be honest here- 99% of the women I have met want a monogamous boyfriend. Sure there are younger women in sororities or other between relationships that want to date around, but overall our society tells women that they want 1 boyfriend /mate. To spread this notion to be polyamorous and that women will respect it- I find it to be stupid and not realistic.

There’s nothing better than a great monogamous relationship. Forgetting even the physical aspect, the emotional connection cannot be matched. And even if my gf isn’t “a 10” in the looks department compared to some supermodel types I see on the street, my gf is a 10 with her devotion, love, and caring and connection we have. Should the community be spreading this type of relationship rather than being playboy PUAs?

I’m a big fan of the Seduction Community and have learned lots from them, but I think this aspect of their philosophy is totally off base. Curious as to your thoughts.

Cheers,

Bradley

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Understanding Women: Does The Car You Drive Matter? [Part Two][Video]

Now it’s time for the second part of that two-part video blog series on “The Car You Drive”.

Last time we talked about your car’s condition and upkeep.

In this segment, you’ll get the lowdown on what the style of car you drive says about you. And what’s the deal–Are there really “girl cars” and “guy cars”?

Watch and discover…and laugh too, if you’re in a good mood:

I sincerely hope these two vids have been of benefit to you. Actaully, if they’ve even been a tiny shred of value to you, please bookmark this on Del.icio.us or Digg it, using the convenient icons below.

And for something extra-Diggable, check back in a couple of days. I’m going to list my top ten cars for people with a successful dating life.

After that, you’ll be getting a load of my top ten dating/seduction resource sites on the Internet. Prepare for something completely different there, no doubt.

Be Good,

Scot

Attracting Women: The Car You Drive [Part One][Video]

Here’s the first of a two-part video blog series on “The Car You Drive”.

Lots of guys think that the hottest women only want a guy with a nice car. Usually, and predictably, the guys who believe that are the ones who don’t have a nice car.

Is there any truth to all of this, or is it just another in a long line of self-limiting beliefs?

Get ready to find out…

OK, let’s hear it from you guys out there with nice cars and with not-so-nice cars. What’s the deal from your perspective?

And ladies, don’t be shy either, okay? Do women only desire men with nice cars?

Keep it locked in right here for Part Two in a couple of days.

Be Good,

Scot

How To Date Taller Women

I’ve been getting numerous requests for some info on this topic lately.

And I’ll tell you, what was supposed to have been a blog post grew into a full-scale Special Report. There has not been nearly enough written on this subject, so I did it up right. Pickup, seduction, relationship management. It’s all in there, fellas.

Since writing it all down I’ve polished up the finished product and made it available to you for FREE right here.

By the way, even if you’re 6’2 and interested in dating WNBA centers, this is for you.

Enjoy.

Next time, more VIDEO…

Be Good,

Scot

Kino That Works, And The Women Who Love You For Getting It Right

Emily, Delivering The Classic KACS Don’t fall off your chair when I tell you what I’m about to say. But you might indeed want to sit down for this nonetheless.

Here it is. I’m going to be teaching more about “kino” from now on.

In the past I’ve given the concept a hard time in general. But going forward I’m going to be more open minded about the term.

Now listen up though. It’s not like I’ve ever been against touching women. In fact, I highly recommend doing it as much as possible, given the fair opportunity to indulge oneself is there for you.

It’s just that when it comes right down to it, what has always struck me as wrongheaded was the concept of slapping a scientific, NLP-inspired moniker on the whole phenomenon and then packaging it in a tightly-wrapped package with specific “deployment” instructions on how to “escalate” it or whatever.

That’s why I haven’t pushed the concept, at least as generally described within the Seduction Community.

Knowing that women respond powerfully to a man who is not sexually pushy, putting potential physical contact with any particular woman on a time schedule–complete with paint-by-numbers-inspired action steps–comes off as bass-ackwards.

Dudes. If you’re in need of improvement in terms of the number of women you’re getting to paw up these days, the very last thing you need is to over-analyze the minutiae of the scenario (some more).

Disagree if you’d like (the comment space below is calling your name). Go ahead and tell me that guys who are just starting out need a framework to begin with. Tell me that you’ve got to start with “baby steps”.

Continue reading “Kino That Works, And The Women Who Love You For Getting It Right”