The Magic Word That Leads To A Better Social Life
Posted on December 1, 2009
Filed Under Austin Parker, Being Cool, Life | Leave a Comment
I’ve been a bit of a workaholic lately. I bring this up because I’m tired after my work weeks and don’t always feel the energy.
A friend of mine recently called and said “Hey, Austin, how would you like to go do this zombie walk?” What’s a “zombie walk”? As it turns out, it’s a several hour affair where you rip up the shirt, stain it with fake blood, white stage makeup, and wander around aimlessly looking for babes and braiiiins. At 5pm on that certain Friday my friend called, however, I wasn’t really in the mood to commit to such a thing. But I said “yes”…because I knew I had to.
And here is why.
“Yes” is the secret word that will bestow social riches upon you. Your friends, girlfriends, and acquaintances are likely throwing interesting opportunities at you all the time. Sometimes these opportunities sound like more work than fun. I mean tearing up a shirt, wearing make up…who wants to do all that, especially on short notice? But I went for it, and once I got going I had some momentum and had a really kick ass time.
So next time you’re asked something by your friends, say “yes”. Always say “yes”. It’s the secret word that will lead to more opportunities.
–Austin
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Field Report: “I Presently Have Six Quality Women In My Life”
Posted on November 17, 2009
Filed Under Dating Coaching, Guest Blog, Letters From Readers, Men Attracting Women | Leave a Comment
This email is in reference to your News Letter about guys learning information to meet quality women and not applying what is taught to the real world. I am 100% living proof that your advice works. I have developed leaps and bounds after following your wisdom and reading your news letters. Your one on one counseling is superb. With that said, I presently have 6 quality women in my life. I know it’s not about the numbers, but the quality that counts. However, when guys start becoming successful, it happens, and a new learning process starts for yet another level. It has taken me three years to get here. Truth be told, if I can do it, anyone can.
One very important lesson that I have learned in the attraction process is for a guy to gain knowledge from other successful men and then, more importantly, apply this information to his life. Scot, what you and other experts have taught me is that it first starts with me learning from others and then acting on the gained knowledge to become a better man. There is no quick launch method, no attraction pill, and there is no one thing I can say or do to attract women. Who you are and how you attract women is all about learning and applying; making it part of who you are. I have learned that 20% of your time should be spent gaining book knowledge and 80% of your time should be spent applying what is learned to real life, with real females. The Army has a saying: a mediocre plan timely executed is far better than the most detailed plan not executed at all. Here is some general information that I have learned. If I had advice for those starting out, it is this:
1) If your desire is to attract better women, then become a better man that attracts women. The information is out there for those who want to learn. Make what you learn who you are in the real world. Learn by applying.
2) Learn to stop analyzing your actions with women, let go, and have fun. Be creative and become a kid again. Learn to be fun with women. Make meeting women a fun game. Adopt an attitude that you will put a smile on every woman’s face that you interact with in some way. I am living proof that it is fun to learn methods, apply, and spend time with quality women.
3) Get out and test everything. You must fail before you can succeed with women. Failure is your best friend. It’s tough love. Believe me, I learned to be cocky and funny the hard way. I turned more women off because I did not know how and when to apply. But experience prevailed! Even more important is learning to become masculine, naturally confident, and how to make it fun in almost any given situation. Learn creative conversations, spontaneity, intrigue, and how to shock her in a fun way. Learn to become the “man” of a woman’s dream and what that means.
4) Know your strength and weakness with women. Write out a plan to overcome your weaknesses and break your weaknesses down into small steps. Learning to be successful with women is a process. Develop small processes that work, add them to your entire attraction process system, and build upon it. You must learn attraction basics, develop a process that works for you, and lead women through it.
5) It is important to know that there are lots of quality women in the world and fewer quality guys who get it. Take advantage of these odds by becoming an attractive man that women want to be around. Know what you want and become a man that attracts her.
I have learned so much and I believe it’s time to tell my story. I still have far to go to where I want to be. As you know, it all works on levels and I am not there yet. However, I am also nowhere near the bottom and I have taken all that I have learned to heart. Right now life is fun and my biggest challenge is learning to manage my “hanging out” (dating) life. I have learned to not date anymore, but to simply hang-out when I find someone that I want to spend my time with. I have learned its not money or how much time, however, it is the “experience” that counts. I have learned to develop the experience by becoming spontaneous, intriguing, interesting, fun, and safe. I focus on making myself more excellent. I have learned it’s about having fun and relaxing. I approach women as it being exciting to find out who they are and challenging to take a woman through the attraction process. I have learned that the process is an adventure that is everywhere and anywhere I make it out to be.
– Kevin Kelly (Colorado Springs, CO)
Lt. Col. Kevin Kelly is currently on active duty in the U.S. Army in Colorado, having recently returned from yearlong tour in Afghanistan. He’s finishing up a Ten-Plus program with me and obviously doing great. I was pleasantly surprised to receive this detailed account from him in last night’s e-mail, and it’s reprinted with his permission. Thanks for your service to our country, and for sharing your insights, Kevin. Terrific stuff.
As far as your success with women goes, if you’re interested in going from where you are right now to where you want to be then Ten-Plus is probably right for you also. It’s a guided plan of action with guaranteed results. For more, check out dating-coaches.com. or contact me personally at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com.
Presence Vs. Attention = Happy Women Everywhere
Posted on October 25, 2009
Filed Under Austin Parker, Men Attracting Women, Relationship Management, Seduction | 1 Comment
Having spent the last year of my life on entrepreneurial pursuits, I’ve learned some hard lessons about keeping a woman happy. At the height of my working tirades I’d get a call from my girlfriend at the time and I’d keep clicky clacking away on the computer. I’d talk and I’d try to stay in the conversation. I figured she wanted some of my attention and time and in my mind, I thought I was giving it to her. This didn’t work.
I started to ask myself, why? Attention without presence is disrespectful. It sent the message that the other person isn’t as important as whatever I was doing. It made them feel less valuable in my life.
Sometimes I can’t be present. My mind goes a hundred miles an hour and it takes time to calm down. During these situations I inform the woman (or man, this is a general social skill) that I just finished or am in the middle of doing something. It’s consuming me and I set a specific time when I expect I’ll be ready to give them my full presence. People are respectful of this.
Otherwise I step away from what I’m doing and go to another room and have the conversation. The quality of the conversation goes up greatly from there. And with quality it’s easy to end it in a timely manner and get back to what I’m doing. Everyone wins.
So next time, give your presence not your attention. It’s the respectful thing to do.
–Austin
Just Say “No” To Infant Circumcision
Posted on October 14, 2009
Filed Under Life, Pillar Articles | 10 Comments
When Emily and I decided to have our son Scot, Jr. at home, we were confronted with the question that all new parents of little boys have to deal with: Should we have the baby circumcised or not?
This led to my researching the idea for the first time in my entire life. Most of us here in the United States have been socialized to somewhat blindly accept that circumcision is a “given” when a newborn boy enters the world.
But as it turns out, one of the first things I discovered in my research was that over the past decade the rate of circumcision of male infants in the U.S. has plummeted from 90% to 50%. This statistic stands even as the vast majority of other nations in the world have all but eliminated the practice as the “norm”.
This caught my attention. After all, having been circumcised as a newborn myself I’d never really given it much thought. I, like so many others, had accepted it as “normal”.
Well, upon doing due diligence to the topic I was utterly shocked by what I discovered.
Circumcision is decidedly not the “simple, painless procedure that only took a minute” that we often assume it is.
The amount of tissue that is removed from the biologically natural penis is way more than I ever knew. Check it out, guys. The next time you’re in the shower take a look at the “railroad tracks” on the ventral side of your unit (where the urethra passes through). That’s a scar, dude.
Further, as it turns out the foreskin plays a crucial role in sexual enjoyment for both the man and woman. When it’s removed, so is that potential for the ultimate sexual satisfaction we were born with. Here is an objective study that shows this to be true.
Next, because of the actual physiological nature of the foreskin, removing it does not simply involve “clearing away some extra skin”. In fact, it is viscerally attached to the shaft and the glans of the penis in a way that creates a mucous membrane underneath.
This means that it has to be peeled backwards away from the head of the penis in order to be removed. If you’ve got your thinking cap on, you’re already shuddering at the thought of this.
Worse, over 50% of all children who endure the procedure do so with minimum (if any) anesthesia, presumably due to concerns over “infant safety”. And even kids who are supposedly numbed down ahead of time tend to show clear indications that any anesthesia they received was clearly not sufficient.
And finally…the clincher: There is no established, proven medical reason to perform this procedure.. Most counterclaims cite cleanliness issues, which is ironic since the country with the highest incidence of infant male circumcision (the U.S.) is also perhaps the one most obsessed with taking several showers per day. All kidding aside, effective hygiene of the uncircumcised penis is far from complicated.
Ultimately, you ask most North American parents why they elected to have the procedure performed, the vast majority will tell you it was because “it’s just normal to”, or “so he can look like his dad”. I’ve even heard “because it’s cuter that way”.
I’ve decided to personally do my part in spreading the word about what male infant circumcision truly involves, so that parents everywhere can make an informed decision when their moment comes to make that decision on behalf of their newborn sons.
My new friend Marilyn Milos from NoCirc.org shared a video with me that I’ve posted for you below. Be advised that even though the effort is made to provide a bit of “comic relief” courtesy of Penn and Teller, parts of this are very difficult to watch–especially when they show the actual procedure being performed.
Nonetheless, I urge you to watch it–especially if you are planning to be a parent anytime in the future:
Make no mistake, I fully get that some circumcisions are performed on religious grounds. That’s the way it is.
But in a world where the very worthy cause of abolishing female circumcision takes center stage, at the very least we owe it to our sons to let them make their own decision about cutting their penises or not. I didn’t even pierce my daughter’s ears when she was a baby, and many other parents don’t either…even as they take infant male circumcision for granted. So you can see how important an issue this is for parents to be informed about.
By the way, if you are indeed anticipating the hospital birth of a son in the near future, make sure you bring this topic up with your attending physician. Amazingly, we know of at least one boy who was circumcised without the parents even having been asked. Perhaps this isn’t so amazing after all when one considers that circumcision is a billable procedure, of course.
If anything, it’s my sincere hope to have caught your attention today. Infant male circumcision really is an area where the vast majority of us really are under-informed.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
Chick Whispering: Can You Really Figure Women Out?
Posted on September 26, 2009
Filed Under Announcements, Men Attracting Women, Video Blogs | 1 Comment
Well, if you’re a guy you can’t exactly crawl inside a woman’s skin and become one in order to find out what’s truly on her mind and what motivates her (at least not usually).
But that’s not to say you necessarily have to be completely lost when it comes to gaining some true insight into understanding women better.
That’s right. You can forget the “old school” thinking that women are a “question surrounded by a quandary, wrapped in an enigma”.
Maybe you’ve lived your entire life assuming there was no chance of figuring women out. I’m here to tell you that you’ve been lied to all this time.
After all, isn’t it true that both genders tend to pronounce their own kind as “simple” and/or “easy to figure out”?
What if all it took this entire time was getting outside of our own desires and agendas and simply taking the time to observe and to process the kind of behaviors and mindsets we see time and time again in women on a regular basis?
Maybe that all sounds complicated, but it doesn’t have to be. I’ve just release an entire package on understanding women better called Chick Whispering. Watch this video for the complete lowdown:
Chick Whispering started out as a 214-page e-book, but has since developed into the definitive program on understanding women featuring ten extra content modules as well. But I’ve still kept the price point at $47.
You’ve said you want more high-quality programs at a price that is accessible to as many guys as possible. Chick Whispering flat-out delivers. And, of course, results are still guaranteed by my unconditional 365 day money-back promise.
Chick Whispering was, of course, sponsored by The Chick Whisperer podcast. Therefore its no coincidence that I got a fresh new episode of the show in the editing stages right now. As fortune would have it, I got one of the most respected women in the world of men’s dating and seduction advice to co-host this show–specifically to talk about this topic: “Are women really so complicated?” Stay tuned…
Be Good,
Scot McKay
The X & Y Communications Asia Tour 2009 Kicks Off
Posted on September 1, 2009
Filed Under Announcements, Life | 4 Comments
OK, let’s face it. In order to “go on vacation” Emily and I pretty much need to get out of town.
Actually, we pretty much need to get out of the country. That’s just the way it is around here.
But then again, when you love your job as much as we do, there’s really no hardline differentiation between “work” and “play”. So when we planned our latest global escapade a few months ago, we thought about how we could combine some real adventure (aka “R & R” in our vernacular) with the opportunity to learn a lot and, of course…shoot LOTS of video and do LOTS of interviews.
So it’s off to the Pacific Rim with our happies.
We’re splitting today, actually. The Mist Enshrouded Mountain-Top Fortress That Is X & Y Communications will be entrusted to “Brutus The Liquid Metal Housesitter” and his trusty Rottweiler “Killer” (well not really, but close) and away we go.
After a “short hop” from San Antonio to New York City, we catch the express to Beijing, China where we plan on hangin’ out at the Great Wall, taking some amazing video and meeting some terrific people.
Then, it’s off to Thailand where we can’t wait to eat enjoy the rich Thai culture and, again, talk to lots of folks. Look for vids from the infamous “Sky Bar” in Bangkok, remote natural reserves and an “undisclosed beach location”.
After that, we get to spend the day in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; where we’ll visit the Petronas Tower and take in the rich culture of that country (which we assume are unrelated events).
KL is actually a built-in stopover on the way to Hong Kong, where we’ll close out the trip. HK is a place that has always been on our “must see” list and yet another incredible opportunity to talk to people and do interviews.
On the “rebound”, we’ll have some time in New York and then it’s straight back to San Antonio with our ragged, jetlagged selves.
All told, we’ll be gallivanting around the Northern Hemisphere from today until September 15th. So all of this is long for “our phones are turned off, and we probably won’t be Twittering as much and/or answering e-mails with such razor-sharp precision for a couple of weeks.” But when we DO Tweet over the course of the next couple of weeks, we’ll make it count…you can bet on that.
On the flip side of all this Papa is going to be well-rested and WAY, WAY less cranky. And we’re pretty sure you’ll get some kickin’ video blogs and podcast joy out of the transaction.
Meanwhile, normal X & Y Communications operations are business as usual, of course. Victor and his first-class Customer Service Team are at your service processing orders and taking names with their typical legendary precision.
Talk to you soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
Interracial Dating: What to Do and What to Expect
Posted on August 29, 2009
Filed Under Joseph Jensen, Men Attracting Women, Relationship Management | 2 Comments
The inspiration for this article came as I traced my personal evolution over the last 12 years. In 1997, I was forced to re-evaluate the lenses through which I viewed the world as I moved from the middle-class Cleveland suburb of my upbringing to the Ivy League where I encountered all races, cultures, and religions.
And whenever people mix, attraction happens.
What is “interracial”? I won’t get into biological or social constructs of race. For the purpose of this article, “interracial dating” refers to dating into a distinct cultural community other than one’s own. A white man dating an African- or Asian-American woman is dating interracially, but a white man dating a “fresh-off-the-boat” white woman from a closely-knit Eastern European immigrant community may experience more pronounced cultural differences.
Why date interracially? Examine your own motivations. Do women of other races fit your standard of beauty better than your own? Is it the lure of the exotic or forbidden? Is it the challenge of relating to a new group of people? Maybe more than one of the above, since the ideas of “self” and “outsider” are deeply ingrained into the human psyche. I won’t critique or psychoanalyze you, but you need to be honest with your own motivations, more on that below.
Why There Won’t Be A Newsletter About What Happened In Pittsburgh
Posted on August 6, 2009
Filed Under Life | 1 Comment
I’m sure you’ve read the news about the unfortunate and tragic events that unfolded in Suburban Pittsburgh on Tuesday night.
My sincerest condolences go out to the victims, their families, and anyone else directly affected.
One particularly unfortunate part of the story is that the gunman, George Sodini, left a blog chronicling his premeditation of the crime and his motivation for doing it in lurid, shocking detail. One of the most consistent themes within the context of what he wrote was his failure with women.
So as you might imagine, I’ve been flooded with e-mails asking my take on what happened and/or asking me to draw parallels between what Mr. Sodini was struggling with and what thousands of frustrated guys deal with on a daily basis.
But I will not be indulging in the latter. And my take on the tragic occurrence Tuesday night is simply this:
No matter how frustrated you may be with women right now, you are NOT like George Sodini.
It’s About Freakin’ Time: The Brand New DeserveWhatYouWant.com Site
Posted on July 25, 2009
Filed Under Announcements, Cool Stuff | 3 Comments
If you haven’t had a chance to check out the BRAND NEW version of the main website, it has been live for a little more than 24 hours now. If you’ve visited the site in the past, I think you’re in for a welcome surprise–starting with the addition of VIDEO and PICTURES. There are also a BUNCH of new features and resources now built-in for you.
Take a look and let me know what you think:
You’re going to see us focus on “real results for real guys” even more fully than we have in the past. Lately I’ve become absolutely more convinced than ever that the VAST MAJORITY of us out there are pretty normal men…go figure.
Yet, any resources on the practical, effective way to get better with women apart from going after the “clubber” lifestyle, becoming a pickup artist, and/or subscribing to a plethora of new-age buzzwords seem to be VERY RARE.
But I know some of you out there still like to shoot pool, listen to the rock station, go fishing, hit the trails and/or park a ‘10 Camaro next to the pickup truck in your garage.
You’re evolved and refined, but still a real man to the core. And it’s time to succeed with the highest quality women on Earth, because they’re waiting for us to show up.
This new site’s for you. Grab a cold one and enjoy.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Yes. That’s an X & Y Communications toolbar in that screenshot above. You can get one of your own for free right here.
New Video Featuring Real-World Success Stories
Posted on July 23, 2009
Filed Under Announcements, Men Attracting Women, Social Networking, Video Blogs | 7 Comments
OK, you know it’s a busy day when a complete, 100% overhaul to the main X & Y Communications website takes second billing.
But that’s the kind of day this is.
After all, we announced a photo contest in the last newsletter for guys, and we’ve chosen the winners. What’s more, we’ve already produced a video featuring the results:
Now for the benefit of you all who aren’t newsletter subscribers (even though you should be) the contest was very simple: Send me your best pic of yourself with a high quality woman.
So you betcha: Every single pic you see in that video above is 100% real and contributed by readers of the newsletter, Twitter followers, podcast listeners and/or Facebook friends.
No models. No actors. Just real-world results from real guys (and the real women who made it possible).
Now if you read tonight’s newsletter, I promised to introduce you to the winners. For sure, everyone who contributed a pic that made it to the video is getting a copy of my newest and yet-to-be-released book Chick Whispering.
But there are two Grand Prize Winners who stood out:
First, there’s Hugo. I kid you not, Hugo must have send me 20 or 25 different “entries”, and every one of them knocked me out.
As you can see from the “boxing gloves” picture below, the knockouts are frequent occurrences, obviously. In case you’re wondering about that pic, by the way, it was a little over-the-top for the video which is why I went with another one of his pics (shown).
But nonetheless, what really got my attention about the “boxing glove” pic was where it was taken. That’s not some sleazy club, gentlemen. That’s his kitchen.
Add in the simple fact that Hugo sent me a ton more like unto these (including that third pic you see here just for good measure), and he walked off with the victory.
Nice job, Hugo.
Next, Hector. “Hector The Collector” to be precise. At least that’s what he refers to himself as in his Internet marketing videos on Facebook.
Well, that’s a first-class hottie that Hector’s hangin’ with in his winning photo. No doubt.
But now it’s time to tell you the real reason why Hector won.
It goes something like this. You see, I have this thing for guys who overcome “limiting beliefs” and/or challenging obstacles that life throws at them.
Hector classifies. According to him, he has lost one hundred and fifty pounds in the last two years or so. He also claims he has “about 50 more to go”.
So if Hector can win with women, what’s your excuse?
Way to go Hector…you’re a winner around here any day of the week.
Great job by everyone who entered. And yes…we’ll be running another contest soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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