The Future Is Also Male: 12 Ways It’s Still Up To Men To Change The World

 
Micajah Autry At The AlamoYou’re probably familiar with the saying, “The future is female”.

No doubt, we love strong, empowered, dirt shredding, Krav Maga ass kicking women who are 100% feminine all the time around here at Casa McKay. Those who know our family best have seen it first-hand.

But naturally, we’re also still about strong, empowered, 100% masculine men. We love you, man.

So I boldly proclaim to you that the future is male, also.

To be clear, it’s not like the future is male instead of female. The future isn’t genderless, either. Indeed, the future is both male and female, just as the entire history of humanity up to this point has inherently been.

Yes, we as men are collectively treating women better than ever before, as we should, and that trend will continue. Meanwhile, men and women can, should and will continue to make valuable contributions to society, and indeed to each other.

Since masculinity and femininity are indelibly tied to gender and procreation, that also means sexual polarity itself is not a zero-sum game. I mean, think of the stark irony of that very concept. We as men are, by Intelligent Design, about one half of the population. Regardless of what you may have heard that’s unlikely to change. Therefore, it’s logically untenable to think men are somehow irrelevant nowadays and going forward.

Yet, we’ve arrived at a moment in history where we’re met with a constant barrage of virtue signalling messages telling us as men we’re in the way of progress and perhaps even collectively “on the wrong side of history”. We’re exhorted to “do better”, without ever acknowledging the possibility that we might have some virtue already tucked away somewhere.

We’re told our innate masculinity is “toxic”, even at times by other men themselves. But as much as some try to root around in the dark for valid alternatives, often with ostensibly decent intentions, we aren’t given any.

 
Rise Above Today's Tension Between Men And Women, With Better Relationships In Mind

 

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15 Things No Man Should EVER Say

 
Scot and EmilyMost of my online research on the subject du jour uncovered articles by angry women whose baseline vitriol toward men was barely concealed under the surface. Predictably, the vast majority were specifically about what men should never say to women in particular.

I found myself reading enduring endless rants over purely innocent, and in many cases ostensibly innocuous (e.g. “you look beautiful tonight”) alleged mistakes by men who meant well, it’s just that they were apparently ill-equipped to read angry women’s minds Said angry women, in turn not able to read men’s minds, therefore assumed the worst, of course.

Yeah, well…if you’re at all worried this is going to be that kind of post, save your brain cells. I’m not an angry woman, nor have I been hanging out with any lately who could theoretically influence my thoughts.

Rather, this is a man-to-man post with the well-meaning brotherly intention of saving guys from clearly demonstrating they have zero skill with women whatsoever.

That means I’ll be sparing you any semblance of politically correct regurgitation, including but not limited to “dog-whistling” or “virtue signalling”. That said, I make no apologies for “triggering” anyone. After all, Job One here is watching out for your best interests as a man who loves women.

So let’s get on with it, already.

And by the way, I’m not limiting the list to what we should never say to women per se. What follows is a more pure rendering of what should never be said by a man period.

 
Rise Above Today's Challenges To Relationships Between Men And Women

 

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10 Ways I Knew Emily Was “The One”

 
Scot and EmilyGetting into a committed relationship is scary. As much as we hope the person we’re with is our “one and only”, everybody knows the reality of divorce rates.

Even so, I remain appalled by how many people willingly jump like lemmings off a cliff into an exclusive relationship—or even marriage—with Mr. or Ms. Wrong.

The crazy part is most people who settle are fully aware they’re doing so. Such bad relationship decisions may be driven by a biological clock that’s ticking, ulterior motives (e.g. money, citizenship), low self-esteem or even gnawing loneliness.

But how ironic is it that we have so much trouble positively identifying the right relationship when it comes along? Indeed, I get asked all the time how to be sure one’s significant other is really significant enough.

That’s because, good grief…I’m the right guy to ask. After a turbulent first marriage and a devastating divorce, why in the world would I ever get married again…especially when I had successfully crafted a lifestyle of dating many high-quality women at once?

I had to be sure.

 
How To Have The Relationship Of Your Dreams

 

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What Have We Replaced The Seduction Community With?

 
Shocked By SexWhat’s truly bizarre to me is guys who have been working on getting better with women for less than, say, five years (therefore, the vast majority) have probably never even heard of The Seduction Community.

Essentially, it’s a lot like how my sixteen year-old daughter has no idea who Sam Kinison is.

So for the sake of clarity, what was The Seduction Community?

 
Women Want Your Hands All Over Them

 

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Top 10 Subtle Signs That Someone Lacks Character

 


Two-Faced People Lack Character

Anyone who is blatantly narcissistic or psychopathic, has a hair-trigger temper, gets their jollies from swindling people, lies even when the truth is easy and/or robs banks is obviously short on character.

And on the flip side, people who have a well thought out belief system that’s the cornerstone of their lives, deliver on what they say they’re going to do, do the right thing even when nobody else is watching and generally believe in leaving the world a better place than they found it are considered to have good, strong character.

All of the that isn’t generally up for debate.

But in the middle there is a massive gray expanse, isn’t there? Nobody can be a paragon of perfection at all times, of course. Nevertheless, here are ten indicators of character deficiency that tend to fly under the radar.

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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9 Ways You Ended Up In An Exclusive Relationship Without Even Knowing It

 


Feeling Pressured Into An Exclusive Relationship You Aren't Ready For?

As far as you were concerned, you’d met someone attractive and interesting and were simply “seeing where it all goes”.

You wanted time to evaluate the possibility of an exclusive relationship. In your mind, going steady with someone implies testing the waters of a long-term committed partnership. You don’t take that lightly, which is wise.

Yet here you are, and there she is.

By way of pure assumption, the two of you are understood to be boyfriend and girlfriend—seeing only each other, hurtling blindly toward a future together.

A huge part of you is left asking how this all happened. You’re scratching your head wondering how you never had any say in this matter. Is this even what you want?

If the situation I just described sounds pretty jacked up to you, that’s because it is. Yet you wouldn’t believe how many e-mails I get from men AND women reporting that it has happened to them, and wondering what to do about it.

Well, the best course of action is always to have “The Talk” with everyone you’re dating, asking what they’re looking for from their dating life at the moment and telling them where you stand. Ideally this happens on the second or third date, and definitely before intimacy. But better late than never, regardless.

No matter what your long-term strategy is, however, what are the more subtle tactics that your would-be significant other might use to rope you into an exclusive relationship sooner than you’d like?

Here are nine of them to look out for:

 
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How To Be Everyone’s Favorite Person…Instantly

 
Why Are Promises So Hard To Keep?By now you’ve figured out that I don’t make unreasonable “easy button” claims.

But here is one of those exceptionally rare truths that isn’t only going to add ridiculous, off-the-chain value to your life, it’s also as simple as flipping a switch:

Be a man or a woman who does what you say you’re going to do.

Boom. Like I said, it’s not at all complicated or difficult to implement. There’s no learned skill. The only thing to remember is one’s own promise.

What we’re talking about here is nothing short of a cornerstone to character. Here in Texas where I live, keeping one’s word is perhaps treasured more than other places.

But there’s little doubt that the rare human being who makes promises and keeps them is beloved by all, regardless of geography. Man…life is SO much easier and more joyful when we have the pleasure of interacting with such high-end people.

Yet, so few people actually do what they say they’re going to do. Especially in California, I’ve noticed…ha!

Why is that?

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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6 Incredibly Hot Things To Say When She Casually Brings Up Sex

 
Under The Table And Out Of SightIt’s such a shame, really. Sometime back in the pickup artist era it was decided that whenever women casually bring up sex during first date conversation—or friendly chit-chat, even—it must be some sort of “test”.

The assumption there is she’s evaluating how we deal with the “hot potato” she’s suddenly dropped in our lap.

If we overreact with excitement and/or shock, she’ll assume we’re undersexed, inexperienced and desperate. Losing our cool is an epic fail, openly demonstrating we’re not in her league.

But if we remain composed and casually engage in the conversation as if it’s no big deal, then we score big points.

On the surface, this might appear to be a reasonably accurate assessment of such a situation and how we might potentially handle it as guys.

But what if it’s not a “test” at all? I’d contend it’s more of an invitation to join in the mating dance.

Unfortunately, most guys take an exhilarating opportunity like that and squander it. They sense they’re being “tested” and fall into self-preservation mode instead of reaching for high gear.

No, you don’t shy away from the conversation. But nor should you simply keep it casual and matter-of fact. That’s mere survival, not glorious victory.

Remember, she started it. Go forth boldly under such circumstances.

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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The Lost Art Of Writing Love Letters

 
Should You Write Her A Love Letter?I recently got a call from a guy who couldn’t wait to share his latest success story with me. Suddenly, his new girlfriend was more adoring and affectionate than ever, which boosted his confidence to new heights and thrilled him to no end. What’s more, even the woman’s mother was now completely won over, telling him that she had thought such wonderful men didn’t exist anymore.

So what had triggered this bonanza of euphoria all around him?

He had hand-written his girlfriend a love letter.

He described it as a simple one, one page front and back. In it, he expressed how magical his time spent with her had been thus far and talked about a future full of exciting travels and boundless adventure together.

After sharing the details with me, he paused briefly before suggesting in a quieter, almost reverent tone that he had stumbled upon something really big here. In his words, “a type of wild card to solidify a relationship, or maybe a way to help a guy get the girl he’s been dating for a while to fall in love.”

 
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Who Else Is Ready To Message Mariah Carey On Match.com?

 
Celebrities Are Turning Up On Online Dating Sites More OftenThis past week Mariah Carey signed up for Match.com and posted a profile.

In case you think I’m kidding, log in and run a username search for “MC1toInfinity”. There she is…at least as of June 7th, 2015 when I’m writing this.

It’s all legit, by the way. Mariah talked about it herself and major media is carrying the story.

Now, not being the type of guy who gets star struck, you’re probably wondering why I care about this.

It’s because she said she can cook. Nah, I’m just kidding.

Mostly, it’s significant because it throws a big old sloppy wrench in the works. Any stigma associated with online dating, were it still a factor anywhere, has now officially been banished into the wilderness forever.

I mean, if a globally known pop star who has always “been considered attractive by her friends” is online, there aren’t many Mulligans to be handed out when it comes to the “I’m too good for that”, “that’s for people who can’t meet anyone in the ‘real world'” or “I’m not desperate enough for that” excuses.

As it turns out, this sort of thing isn’t a fluke, either. The likes of Halle Berry and Lindsey Lohan, among other Hollywood types, have confirmed personally that they’ve done the online dating thing.

Regardless of your personal opinion on any of the aforementioned women, we all have to agree that they’re probably not short on male attention.

I’ll spare you the list of other famous and arguably attractive people—male and female—who’ve turned up on Match, eHarmony and even Tinder (!) because you can Google the list yourself.

But even among guys I’ve worked with, the women they’ve met online include cheerleaders for pro teams (at least four of those), a former contestant on The Bachelor and even an Olympic gymnast.

So with that rant out of the way, what’s up with Mariah?

 
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8 Surefire Ways To Tell: Are You A Fun Person?

 
Why Should India Have All The FunAstonishingly, there’s very little on the web addressing the topic du jour. Mostly, it’s a few quiz sites asking pretty random questions that carry the personal assumptions of whoever authored them. There’s nothing really, well, helpful or definitive there.

So then, given how absolutely crucial being fun is to the attraction process, let alone building a healthy and vibrant social circle, I decided to go ahead and let the fur fly (or the powder, if you were in India earlier this month).

What do you say we let the fun begin? Right on…

Like everyone tends to believe that they have a sense of humor, everyone also typically thinks of him or herself as a fun person. After all, how much of a true “stick in the mud” does one have to be to self-identify as “no fun”?

A sense of humor is rare enough, so what about a sense of fun? Do you have one? There’s no irony in the fact that both of those factors are directly related. That could be why there are as few truly FUN people as there are folks with a sense of humor. Just sayin’.

Part of the problem, I think, is that people don’t recognize fun when they’re potentially heading for it, or even in the midst of it.

I mean, what IS “fun”, and should it be a priority or not?

So much of how you might answer that question for yourself is based on personality and mindset, for sure. But hey…the weird twist there is that even people who aren’t any fun tend to recognize when others ARE. Weird, right?

It’s all too easy to lapse into the philosophical or psychological factors at play here, isn’t it? But that wouldn’t be any fun!

So on with it. Here are 8 factors that pretty much tell the tale of whether you’re a FUN person or not:

 
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Why Approaching Women Is So Puzzling

 
Putting The Pieces TogetherWe’ve done ourselves a disservice by assuming that each situation where we’re approaching a woman is going to be identical to any other.

But who can really blame us? It seems as if everything we’ve ever read on the subject prepares us for interactions with beautiful but bitchy women, who are typically saturated with “bothersome” male attention and are therefore eager to reject us.

Well, it’s time to tell the truth, once and for all.

The bold reality is that whenever you approach a woman, you’ve got a puzzle to figure out.

And each given scenario will have a unique solution because each woman is different.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that if you somehow have fallen into a pattern of encountering ONLY bitchy women who are eager to reject you, the solution might just involve looking in the mirror.

For what it’s worth, that’s good news. That means the future is under your control.

Remember, women follow your lead. Anytime you’re confronted with the same negative reaction repeatedly, the only conclusion that can reasonably be drawn is that you’ve somehow led.

I realize that isn’t easy to hear. Nevertheless, it should empower you. Here’s why.

 
Meeting Women Is Not A Crime

 

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7 Women Who Are Probably Dateless (And Will Stay That Way)

 
Hi There.  Avoid Me.Whenever I set out to write a post like this, I’m tempted to lead with a disclaimer.

This time I’m going to indulge.

If you’re familiar with my writings, my general philosophies and especially the strength of my relationship with my wife Emily, you already know that I genuinely adore women.

What you ALSO fully realize is that both Emily and I take an “equal opportunity” approach to doling out what’s commonly known as “tough love”.

Yeah, well…what follows is one of those “tough love” posts.

So fair warning: It’s either time to buckle down or bring your sense of humor, one or the other.

That’s because I’m about to throw down a full-on rant about the seven types of women who shouldn’t even THINK about blindsiding some guy with their crazy, possibly sociopathic tendencies.

But to be clear, every bit of what I’m about to say is NOT gender-specific. Guys for whom the shoe fits are likely to get the short end of the relationship stick also, no doubt.

It’s just that 90% of this blog’s readership is men, hence the context.

Enough already. Let’s get on with it…

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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7 Major Clues You’re Getting Better With Women

 
Twenty-Five Women, One ShotHey, there’s a lot of talk about how to improve your skills with women. But how do you know when you’ve actually ARRIVED?

On the surface, that seems like a silly question. I mean, you’re either attracting women or you’re not, right? When you start attracting women, all is good…at least you’d think so.

But what I’ve come to realize is that “success” isn’t really as tangible a commodity for most guys as they may have originally thought it would be.

Guys wonder if getting “rejected” at all means they’ve still got work to do.

They ask me if having six out of eight women responding to them online is “good enough”.

Still others want to know if they’re doing something wrong because they haven’t met their “100 out of 100” (e.g. perfectly imperfect) dream woman just yet.

Well, I can tell you definitively that 1) Even the most desirable men AND women can still never get EVERYONE they want. 2) At least 25% of the women you write to online will not write you back for reasons that have virtually NOTHING to do with you, and 3) it takes TIME to meet “The One”. In fact, it SHOULD…you’ve got to date enough to figure out what “The One” will even be like.

What we obviously need here, then, are some more reasonable yardsticks to measure “success” with.

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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If It’s Not Fast, It’s Only Half-Fast: 5 1/2 Situations With Women That Call For Speed

 
Half an ass, half-fastGo ahead. Say the first part of the subject line out loud. Do it briskly enough so you can hear what’s REALLY being said.

In other words, don’t give it a half-fast effort.

So gentlemen, what does a clever motorsports phrase like that have to do with women?

Well, I’m about to pull the blanket off of one of The Most Interesting Man’s more infamous pronouncements: “I assure you, most women would not consider speed a virtue.”

Now, while I wholeheartedly agree with that statement in context (speed dating)—as well as in the bedroom and during the whole seduction “dance”, for example—I’m convinced that there are absolutely other times where if you’re slow on the draw you’re going to LOSE, big time.

Here are my five (and a half) situations where you’d better be fast, lest you be half-fast:

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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Will You Pass The “Interesting Test”?

 
Emily Being InterestingBy now you know that a man who leads an interesting life replete with way cool and exhilarating activities stands a much better chance of attracting desirable women than a guy who spends most of his time on the couch watching the tube and eating Cheetos.

This is much to the chagrin of probably 75% of all men out there, apparently. My inbox is stuffed with messages from guys who wonder aloud about HOW to “lead an exciting life”, be a “man of adventure” or simply, well…how to be more interesting in SOME non-complicated way.

In all fairness, many of us may already be more potentially intriguing and exciting to women than we think. Consider, for example, how easy it is for us as guys to compare ourselves to the highest-functioning men out there and make blanket judgment on the fly that we’re about as boring and “vanilla” as it gets.

I mean, every time you read about Sir Richard Branson he’s doing something new and devastatingly amazing. Wasn’t building an international record company, several airlines, flying hot air balloons, getting a private island and founding Virgin Galactic ENOUGH, already?

You get on Netflix and are confronted with Ewan McGregor riding through Africa on a BMW motorcycle. Most of us would be doing cartwheels to be cast as an extra in the next Star Wars film, but this guy was freaking Obi Wan Kenobi. The next thing you know, he’s going on round-the-world travel adventures.

But here’s the thing. Even THOSE guys spend plenty of “down time” doing mundane stuff. It’s just that the camera isn’t rolling during those times for obvious reasons.

Perhaps we fall into the trap of believing that we have to live like Steve Irwin or James Bond (who’s fictional, no less) or else we’re slackers.

Personally, I believe this mindset comes from the same place as the assumption that all beautiful women are wined and dined 24/7 and whisked off to exotic locations on private jets at least twice a week.

The first step is to relax. You can find paparazzi pics on the Internet of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher going grocery shopping. If they don’t have to be Lara Croft and/or Indiana Jones, neither do you.

But make no mistake. You can’t be a chronic bump on a log, either. You have to exercise your ability to be interesting at least SOMETIMES, or the “adventure muscle” might atrophy.

So then, what yardstick does one use to figure out whether one is interesting ENOUGH to be at least potentially attractive to MOTOS (members of the other sex)?

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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Do Men Even Notice Women Anymore?

 
Not me, it was the guy behind me...I swear.

[Please Read: This has obviously become an incendiary post, to the point of going viral. If you are a #MGTOW and wish to take me to task for having had a vibrant, highly-satisfying dating life that led to a happy, fulfilling relationship with a wonderful woman, I’ve already responded to similar comments more than enough times below. Likewise, every #MGTOW battle cry and every stat you guys use to drive your confirmation bias has already been brought up and respectfully responded to (most of which several times). Going forward, I’ll only be approving well-articulated comments that add something new to the conversation. Please read this other post before commenting to gain clarity on my gender-neutral position on human behavior. Oh, and yes…I’m fully aware that both the #MeToo Movement and COVID-19 have happened since this post was originally written.]

—–

A while back I was on a coaching call with a woman who happens to be smart, successful and beautiful. We were actively discussing creative ways she might encourage the kind of man she deserves to introduce himself, start a conversation and sweep her off of her feet.

Out of the blue, she posed one of the most poignant questions I’d been asked in quite some time:

“Scot, do men even LOOK at women anymore? I mean, do they even NOTICE us out there?”

My knee-jerk response, had I not stopped to ponder the issue, may have been something to the effect of, “Well, of course. Men have been making it a point to stop and admire women they happen to see when they’re out and about since the dawn of recorded time. And probably before that as well.”

But instead I paused. The question wasn’t a mere throwaway…some miscellaneous rant from a woman who couldn’t understand why she couldn’t even catch a man looking, let alone get him to approach her.

So we talked about it some. And since I was on a road trip and passing through South Carolina, Georgia and Florida, I decided to do somewhat of a field study.

 
Make Her Want To Do Anything For You

 

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12 Things Some Guys Do, Mistakenly Thinking They’re Cool

 
Women Made EasyLet’s have some fun today.

Recently I got into a discussion with a few friends—some female, no less—on the subject of what guys who decidedly don’t “get it” are like.

Essentially, it quickly became a referendum on coolness, particularly in the eyes of women.

As you might imagine it turned out to be a truly fascinating conversation. As such, I felt compelled to share the finer points of it with you.

Recalling what was said, I’ve made a list of a dozen major missteps guys make in the name of being cool which typically result in women thinking the exact OPPOSITE about them.

But before I get on a roll ranting about them all, there are at least three points that deserve to be made.

 
Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

 

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7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love

 
Get Your Game OnI’m not sure what it is lately, but I’ve been getting more than my fair share of e-mails from guys saying something to the effect of this:

“But Scot, I’m incredibly useless/boring/average and there’s nothing about me that a woman would be attracted to, especially compared to other guys out there.”

My knee-jerk reaction is to encourage men who think that way to stop comparing themselves to others and take control over their circumstances instead. Thankfully, we can DO SOMETHING to change the way things are if we just don’t feel like we’ve got a whole lot to offer a woman. That’s what deserving what you want is all about.

But I have to be honest with you. My knee-jerk reaction has to yield to a gut-level hunch in this case. That’s this: I’d be willing to bet that you ALREADY HAVE some pretty badass skills in your toolbox. The problem is that you simply aren’t leveraging them.

Here are seven examples of common skills that thrill women to no end. You may already possess some of these, but the reason I’ve selected them in particular is because they can be acquired with a modicum of effort:

Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

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