Last night, I was watching From Russia with Love. Its one of the best Sean Connery Bond films, and it made me think a lot about my article, Body Language and your overall presentation.
Gentlemen, how you present yourself plays such an important role with MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) and everything in general. I am sure we have all heard the term “a picture paints a thousand words”. Well how you present yourself paints a lot more than that. I will go over a few key points.
Swagger, strut, walk the walk, and exude your frame.
What is it I mean by this?
Guys when you walk, so many times we are just moving our lower body, our head down, just bearing down at wherever. Pick that head up, relax your eyelids, and flow.
Picture yourself as if you are walking through a pool. Move your upper body, believe that you are a famed celebrity. Stick your chest out, and use good posture. Swing your arms a bit. Almost feel as if you are slowing down.
Smoothness is key. I really emphasize at first visualizing walking through a pool or some type of resistance. Let your shoulders and upper body move a bit. Look, observe, life is too short to keep your head down. I almost feel like I am leaning back and breathing in life and just loving it.
When you sit or stand, TAKE UP SPACE. No I do not mean spread out like a starfish, but again be open. When I stand I try to have my legs a little more than shoulder width apart. Shift your weight on your legs, and allow it to open up your body in a calm almost sexual way.
I used to have my hands rubbing when I talked to girls. Hitch them behind your back on your belt, i.e your thumbs in your back pockets. Granted use your hands to speak, but not wildly, slow it down, paint the picture. Women love it when you almost have a vulnerable stance, it subconsciously says you are open and confident. When you sit lean back, spread out and observe. Feel as if you are observing the world from a confident, calm, happy, relaxed and masterful state. Smooth and relaxed movements.
Relax your eyelids, and make relaxed yet strong eye contact. Too often men dart there eyes away from women. Especially when she meets your eyes, guys SMILE back. Humans have always enjoyed a smile. If a woman was staring at James Bond, would he dart his eyes away? No. Smile, relax your eyelids, make smooth movements with them. You will be surprised that by relaxing your eyelids and not averting your gaze, you will be getting some good eye contact from the ladies.
Speak slower, and lower your voice a bit. By lower I mean in a deeper sense. Practice this by breathing in through your stomach and then breathing out, much like when the doctor says take a deep breath in and breathe out. Register and observe what others are saying, you will enjoy the conversation a lot more. Also when you speak confidently and calmly, it portrays stability…so I heard from a few ladies.
In conclusion, guys, be happy and be in control of your frame. Observe and breathe in life. Smile a little bit if a pretty girl makes eye contact with you. Emotions are contagious, and being calm, confident, sexual, and happy in your walk (not sex focused) subconsciously portrays a leader. A great man who is in control. Watch some old Bond films, take notes. Practice visualize, then be it. We can all say lines and try to attract, but a calm, relaxed, open body language again, paints a picture. Hope to hear from you guys soon. Drop me a note.
Jim
“Walking in a pool”, right? That’s a good one.
Exactly, nice smooth movements. Not like Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd doing the walk on this old SNL skits “we are two wild and crazy guys”.
Great article, it neatly summarises the most important stuff guys need to know on body language!
Yeah, James Bond’s films are a source of inspiration Re: body language and cool demeanour.
One of things I find helpful in developing body language and right attitude is:
1. Think of some situation in question, e.g. a forthcoming date.
2. Imagine yourself in James Bond’s shoes for a minute, like see through his eyes, hear through his ears… – you get the idea.
3. And then ask yourself questions: How would James Bond (or any other character of choice) would behave in that situation? what would be his attitude? how would he move, feel, what would he say and do?
I find this exercise helps to accelerate the learnings…
Sasha
Yeah, if you can’t get body language right then any amount of lines or peacocking won’t help.