It’s such a shame, really. Sometime back in the pickup artist era it was decided that whenever women casually bring up sex during first date conversation—or friendly conversation, even—it must be some sort of “test”.
The logic behind this assumption being that she’s evaluating how we deal with the “hot potato” she’s suddenly dropped in our lap.
If we overreact with excitement and/or shock, she’ll assume we’re undersexed, inexperienced and desperate. Losing our cool is an epic fail, demonstrating we’re not in her league.
But if we remain composed and casually engage in the conversation as if it’s no big deal, then we score big points.
On the surface, this all might appear to be a reasonably accurate assessment of such a situation and how we might potentially handle it as guys.
But what if it’s not a “test” at all? I’d contend that it’s more of an invitation to join in the mating dance.
Yet, most guys take an exhilarating opportunity like that and squander it. They sense they’re being “tested” and fall into self-preservation mode instead of reaching for high gear.
No…you don’t shy away from the conversation. But nor should you simply keep it casual and matter-of fact. That’s mere survival, not glorious victory.
Remember, she started it. Go forth boldly under such circumstances.
The evolved man doesn’t dive right into propositioning her, of course. Rather, he pushes the envelope forward just an inch and isn’t surprised when she takes a mile.
It’s all about sparking her imagination in a creative, yet still indirect way…at least at first.
Here are six seriously hot, sexy ways to lob that “hot potato” right back in her lap, in the best way possible. All of these are sure to naturally incite far more interesting conversation than bringing up politics or current events:
1) “Did you know you can actually taste adrenaline in a kiss?”
All six ideas I’m presenting to you here have a common feature. All of them avoid direct statement of sexual intent. I can’t overemphasize the importance of that.
You see, the key is that you’re bringing up thoughts that are seriously horny, yet theoretical. That way, you don’t come off as sexually pushy even as you’re planting irresistibly naughty thoughts in her head.
Note that by dropping the question above she’ll automatically draw a mental picture in that overactive imagination of hers.
Fear not. You’re in that mental picture without having had to force the issue.
Better yet, she’ll immediately recognize that you not only know what passion is, you have some powerful talents working in your favor.
2) “I read somewhere recently why men and women play ‘footsie’ under the table.”
Obviously, you hold this particular poker hand in reserve for when you’re seated at a table across from her.
She’ll either give her opinion in response to your statement, or she’ll ask you to elaborate.
The story there is that when a man and a woman look in each other’s eyes, playing “footsie” creates a head-to-toe physical connection that’s a subtle metaphor for, well…something else that’s physical from head to toe.
You can leave it at that. Or you can also add that because it usually happens under the table and out of the sight of others, it feels naughty and secretive.
After that brief explanation, you should pause briefly. Briefly enough for her to start playing footsie with you.
Boom. [mic drop]
I tell you, this one is like playing “truth or dare”, only without being so overt about it. Nice.
3) “You know, the Hawaiians actually have a word for breathing in your lover’s exhale when kissing passionately.”
Again, with one simple sentence you get her mind wandering into some very horny places. What’s more, they’re warm, tropical places.
Having visions dancing in her head of the two of you making out on a moonlit beach in Maui is never a bad thing.
4) “I’m curious, some people think kissing is more intimate than sex. How about you?”
If you’re more interested in continuing the conversation she’s thrown on the table to see where it goes, here’s your option. This one has zero possibility of falling flat. You could drive this one coast-to-coast before it runs out of gas.
The strange thing about this topic is that it’s just wonkish enough to feel like you’re innocently discussing a Cosmo article, yet just horny enough that her impure thoughts are impossible to contain.
Have some fun with this one. See how long you can keep the conversation from turning direct. Bite your tongue and practically dare her to blurt out what she wants you to do to her.
5) “Did you know that if you mentally focus all of your passion for a split second during lovemaking, your partner can physically feel a little electrical rush?”
You’re a magic man, mama. And she’ll know that for sure the very second you punctuate this sentence.
Be careful with this one, though. If she’s even remotely attracted to you she’ll start counting the minutes until you shred each other’s clothes and drill each other’s brains out.
This one, along with numbers 1 and 3 are the most likely to elicit an uncontrollable reflex in her to whisper, “OMG…that is sooooo hot.” That’s always a good sign.
6) “You know what? I think people are too anxious to have sex when they first meet each other.”
What, am I crazy? Crazy like a ninja, perhaps.
You see, most women have their guard up on first dates, preparing themselves for yet another in a train of sex-focused men who are desperately trying to get in her pants.
By producing this unexpected morsel of truth, you serve notice that you’re different. It’s a “pattern interrupt”, of sorts, compared to what she’s used to.
Sure, she might go on a mini-rant…which may be in agreement OR disagreement with your statement, incidentally.
But experience tells me it’s far more likely you’ll have piqued her intrigue, at which point you might nonchalantly express (in third-person plural, of course) how people miss out on the thrill of the first time they make eye contact, hold hands or even kiss…all because they sacrifice such deeply satisfying romance in the name of rushing to the finish line.
Suddenly, she’ll realize you “get it”.
Why? It’s all about comfort and security. Her anti-perv force shield is deactivated. Plus, she senses that you have the power as a real man to respect her holistically as a woman, getting to know her and savoring each exciting moment.
Perhaps ironically, she’ll be practically begging you to ravish her sooner than you expected as a direct result. Go figure.
Did you notice that the slightest modicum of blessed patience goes A LONG way when it comes to this stuff? I’m astounded by how many men foolishly hamfist sexual conversation, diving in for the “kill” way too early.
When perfectly executed, the time it takes to exchange a mere sentence or two can make all the difference. That’s as little as fifteen seconds. Invest that time wisely and she’ll be biting her lower lip, flashing the “take me eyes” or squirming sideways in her chair. Maybe all three.
So, what do you think of all this? Guys…how have you handled it when a woman brings up sex? Are you skeptical it even HAPPENS on first dates?
And ladies, what say you? Am I on target with this or did I leave out an important point somewhere?
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