Scot McKay – Page 2 – The Official Blog Of Scot McKay

Why Approaching Women Is So Puzzling

Putting The Pieces Together We’ve done ourselves a disservice by assuming that each situation where we’re approaching a woman is going to be identical to any other.

But who can really blame us? It seems as if everything we’ve ever read on the subject prepares us for interactions with beautiful but bitchy women, who are typically saturated with “bothersome” male attention and are therefore eager to reject us.

Well, it’s time to tell the truth, once and for all.

The bold reality is that whenever you approach a woman, you’ve got a puzzle to figure out.

And each given scenario will have a unique solution because each woman is different.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that if you somehow have fallen into a pattern of encountering ONLY bitchy women who are eager to reject you, the solution might just involve looking in the mirror.

For what it’s worth, that’s good news. That means the future is under your control.

Remember, women follow your lead. Anytime you’re confronted with the same negative reaction repeatedly, the only conclusion that can reasonably be drawn is that you’ve somehow led.

I realize that isn’t easy to hear. Nevertheless, it should empower you. Here’s why.

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7 Women Who Are Probably Dateless (And Will Stay That Way)

Hi There. Avoid Me. Whenever I set out to write a post like this, I’m tempted to lead with a disclaimer.

This time I’m going to indulge.

If you’re familiar with my writings, my general philosophies and especially the strength of my relationship with my wife Emily, you already know that I genuinely adore women.

What you ALSO fully realize is that both Emily and I take an “equal opportunity” approach to doling out what’s commonly known as “tough love”.

Yeah, well…what follows is one of those “tough love” posts.

So fair warning: It’s either time to buckle down or bring your sense of humor, one or the other.

That’s because I’m about to throw down a full-on rant about the seven types of women who shouldn’t even THINK about blindsiding some guy with their crazy, possibly sociopathic tendencies.

But to be clear, every bit of what I’m about to say is NOT gender-specific. Guys for whom the shoe fits are likely to get the short end of the relationship stick also, no doubt.

It’s just that 90% of this blog’s readership is men, hence the context.

Enough already. Let’s get on with it…

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7 Major Clues You’re Getting Better With Women

Twenty-Five Women, One Shot Hey, there’s a lot of talk about how to improve your skills with women. But how do you know when you’ve actually ARRIVED?

On the surface, that seems like a silly question. I mean, you’re either attracting women or you’re not, right? When you start attracting women, all is good…at least you’d think so.

But what I’ve come to realize is that “success” isn’t really as tangible a commodity for most guys as they may have originally thought it would be.

Guys wonder if getting “rejected” at all means they’ve still got work to do.

They ask me if having six out of eight women responding to them online is “good enough”.

Still others want to know if they’re doing something wrong because they haven’t met their “100 out of 100” (e.g. perfectly imperfect) dream woman just yet.

Well, I can tell you definitively that 1) Even the most desirable men AND women can still never get EVERYONE they want. 2) At least 25% of the women you write to online will not write you back for reasons that have virtually NOTHING to do with you, and 3) it takes TIME to meet “The One”. In fact, it SHOULD…you’ve got to date enough to figure out what “The One” will even be like.

What we obviously need here, then, are some more reasonable yardsticks to measure “success” with.

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If It’s Not Fast, It’s Only Half-Fast: 5 1/2 Situations With Women That Call For Speed

Half an ass, half-fast Go ahead. Say the first part of the subject line out loud. Do it briskly enough so you can hear what’s REALLY being said.

In other words, don’t give it a half-fast effort.

So gentlemen, what does a clever motorsports phrase like that have to do with women?

Well, I’m about to pull the blanket off of one of The Most Interesting Man’s more infamous pronouncements: “I assure you, most women would not consider speed a virtue.”

Now, while I wholeheartedly agree with that statement in context (speed dating)—as well as in the bedroom and during the whole seduction “dance”, for example—I’m convinced that there are absolutely other times where if you’re slow on the draw you’re going to LOSE, big time.

Here are my five (and a half) situations where you’d better be fast, lest you be half-fast:

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Will You Pass The “Interesting Test”?

Emily Being Interesting By now you know that a man who leads an interesting life replete with way cool and exhilarating activities stands a much better chance of attracting desirable women than a guy who spends most of his time on the couch watching the tube and eating Cheetos.

This is much to the chagrin of probably 75% of all men out there, apparently. My inbox is stuffed with messages from guys who wonder aloud about HOW to “lead an exciting life”, be a “man of adventure” or simply, well…how to be more interesting in SOME non-complicated way.

In all fairness, many of us may already be more potentially intriguing and exciting to women than we think. Consider, for example, how easy it is for us as guys to compare ourselves to the highest-functioning men out there and make blanket judgment on the fly that we’re about as boring and “vanilla” as it gets.

I mean, every time you read about Sir Richard Branson he’s doing something new and devastatingly amazing. Wasn’t building an international record company, several airlines, flying hot air balloons, getting a private island and founding Virgin Galactic ENOUGH, already?

You get on Netflix and are confronted with Ewan McGregor riding through Africa on a BMW motorcycle. Most of us would be doing cartwheels to be cast as an extra in the next Star Wars film, but this guy was freaking Obi Wan Kenobi. The next thing you know, he’s going on round-the-world travel adventures.

But here’s the thing. Even THOSE guys spend plenty of “down time” doing mundane stuff. It’s just that the camera isn’t rolling during those times for obvious reasons.

Perhaps we fall into the trap of believing that we have to live like Steve Irwin or James Bond (who’s fictional, no less) or else we’re slackers.

Personally, I believe this mindset comes from the same place as the assumption that all beautiful women are wined and dined 24/7 and whisked off to exotic locations on private jets at least twice a week.

The first step is to relax. You can find paparazzi pics on the Internet of Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher going grocery shopping. If they don’t have to be Lara Croft and/or Indiana Jones, neither do you.

But make no mistake. You can’t be a chronic bump on a log, either. You have to exercise your ability to be interesting at least SOMETIMES, or the “adventure muscle” might atrophy.

So then, what yardstick does one use to figure out whether one is interesting ENOUGH to be at least potentially attractive to MOTOS (members of the other sex)?

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6 Foolproof Ways To Make Your Male Unit Delicious To Women

Is There A Party In Your Pants? Yesterday something happened that was at the very least amazing, even though it may signal the impending end of the universe as we know it.

It all started when I happened across a bizarre, weird post written by a woman named Holly Jean way back in April on a blog called http://www.myfatpocket.com. It had about thirty comments at the time.

The title? “How To Make Your Vagina Smell And Taste Delicious”.

Leave it to me, a dating coach, to post it to my Facebook Page with the innocuous caption, “Here’s a topic you don’t see covered every day.”

I didn’t think anything of it, but when I came back to check the page about ten minutes before writing this it had run up over 300,000 views, 850 comments, 700 likes and over 200 shares.

Basically the thing went viral and people are having an absolute BLAST talking about it.

One particularly intuitive comment jumped off the page and whacked me in the head, however. It read, simply: “Would cause some outrage if an article titled ‘How To Make Your D*ick Taste Delicious’ came up.” It had fifty likes already.

I instinctively knew such a piece HAD to be written, and that I was the guy who both had a vested interest in it and was crazy enough to do it. After all, it really is kind of a GREAT topic. I mean, how many guys have ever had a significant other who wasn’t particularly excited about giving oral?

So bring on the “outrage”. Here are six fast, surefire ways to make your unit FAR more palatable:

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Do Men Even Notice Women Anymore?

Not me, it was the guy behind me...I swear.

[Please Read: This has obviously become an incendiary post, to the point of going viral. If you are a #MGTOW and wish to take me to task for having had a vibrant, highly-satisfying dating life that led to a happy, fulfilling relationship with a wonderful woman, I’ve already responded to similar comments more than enough times below. Likewise, every #MGTOW battle cry and every stat you guys use to drive your confirmation bias has already been brought up and respectfully responded to (most of which several times). Going forward, I’ll only be approving well-articulated comments that add something new to the conversation. Please read this other post before commenting to gain clarity on my gender-neutral position on human behavior. Oh, and yes…I’m fully aware that both the #MeToo Movement and COVID-19 have happened since this post was originally written.]

—–

A while back I was on a coaching call with a woman who happens to be smart, successful and beautiful. We were actively discussing creative ways she might encourage the kind of man she deserves to introduce himself, start a conversation and sweep her off of her feet.

Out of the blue, she posed one of the most poignant questions I’d been asked in quite some time:

“Scot, do men even LOOK at women anymore? I mean, do they even NOTICE us out there?”

My knee-jerk response, had I not stopped to ponder the issue, may have been something to the effect of, “Well, of course. Men have been making it a point to stop and admire women they happen to see when they’re out and about since the dawn of recorded time. And probably before that as well.”

But instead I paused. The question wasn’t a mere throwaway…some miscellaneous rant from a woman who couldn’t understand why she couldn’t even catch a man looking, let alone get him to approach her.

So we talked about it some. And since I was on a road trip and passing through South Carolina, Georgia and Florida, I decided to do somewhat of a field study.

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My 8 Favorite Female TV Characters Of All Time

Okay, Larry Hagman may have actually touched her at least once. First of all, some of you are going to roll your eyes and shake your head at this list. I’m actually looking forward to that, if for no other reason than it will prove the true point of this post (if there really is one).

That’s this: All that really, seriously matters when it comes to YOUR choice of women is what YOU like.

Since this is my blog, what you’re about to behold is a nothing more than a dead giveaway of my personal taste. Indeed, each individual’s taste is different, and in my arrogant opinion that happens to mean that neither Ginger NOR Marianne make the cut.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m SURE I’ve missed some legit candidates, especially if they were hidden away on daytime soap operas or shows watched only by teenage girls. “TV Land” is a big place, so I didn’t exactly exhaust all possible resources compiling my list. As such, I actually look forward to being reminded of who I forgot…thanks to those of you who have different and/or more complete memories than I.

Another caveat is that I haven’t exactly been a voracious consumer of television shows over the years, so I’m sure there were jaw-dropping hotties along the way who completely slipped my radar. Those of you outside of the States in particular might be able to enlighten me.

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12 Things Some Guys Do, Mistakenly Thinking They’re Cool

Let’s have some fun today.

Recently I got into a discussion with a few friends—some female, no less—on the subject of what guys who decidedly don’t “get it” are like.

Essentially, it quickly became a referendum on coolness, particularly in the eyes of women.

As you might imagine it turned out to be a truly fascinating conversation. As such, I felt compelled to share the finer points of it with you.

Recalling what was said, I’ve made a list of a dozen major missteps guys make in the name of being cool which typically result in women thinking the exact OPPOSITE about them.

But before I get on a roll ranting about them all, there are at least three points that deserve to be made.

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7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love

Get Your Game On I’m not sure what it is lately, but I’ve been getting more than my fair share of e-mails from guys saying something to the effect of this:

“But Scot, I’m incredibly useless/boring/average and there’s nothing about me that a woman would be attracted to, especially compared to other guys out there.”

My knee-jerk reaction is to encourage men who think that way to stop comparing themselves to others and take control over their circumstances instead. Thankfully, we can DO SOMETHING to change the way things are if we just don’t feel like we’ve got a whole lot to offer a woman. That’s what deserving what you want is all about.

But I have to be honest with you. My knee-jerk reaction has to yield to a gut-level hunch in this case. That’s this: I’d be willing to bet that you ALREADY HAVE some pretty badass skills in your toolbox. The problem is that you simply aren’t leveraging them.

Here are seven examples of common skills that thrill women to no end. You may already possess some of these, but the reason I’ve selected them in particular is because they can be acquired with a modicum of effort:

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Do You “Take Yourself Too Seriously”?

The Ministry Of Silly Walks I’m going to level with you on this one. Part of why I’m writing this particular blog post is because I want to force myself to finally come to grips with a subject that I’ve always thought I understood—at least in principle—but lately am not so sure I REALLY, TRULY get.

That would be the whole, widely celebrated idea of “taking oneself less seriously”.

Perhaps ironically, this means I’m about to take the topic seriously, for once. Just in case your head is about to explode already, let’s rephrase that: I’m really in the mood to get down to the bottom of it all, especially as it pertains to interpersonal relationships.

No doubt, every single time “taking oneself LESS seriously” is talked about it’s positioned as a GOOD thing. Following logically, “taking oneself TOO seriously” is universally positioned as a BAD thing.

But rather than be sheep and follow the herd, doesn’t it behoove us (sheep have hooves, get it?) to first explore what’s so bad about being “serious” about oneself?

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Stop Chasing, Start Choosing: Take Control Of Your Dating Life, Get The Women You Truly Want

Women Made Easy

Subject: Turn Fantasy Into Reality

Have you somehow been led to believe that women hold ALL the power when it comes to male/female relationships?

It’s true that the hottest ones are approached dozens of times per day by eager men who want to be with them.

It’s as if a desirable woman can casually CHOOSE from all of those guys who CHASE after her, most of whom are desperately clamoring for just one chance.

There’s no doubt who’s got the upper hand there. But what if I told you that wielding that kind of power in the dating world is NOT necessarily gender-specific?

What few men EVER figure out is that they can–and SHOULD–have the power position when meeting women, and yes…even when building relationships with them.

Yes, YOU can be the chooser instead…and that’s actually how women WANT it. Think about it…have you noticed that NONE of those needy guys who CHASE after women ever end up with the hottest ones?

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Seducing Wild Alaska: The Truth About Male/Female Ratios Up There

There's At Least One Hottie Out There Climbing The Glaciers We’ve been in Alaska for the past two weeks.

For real. In fact, we just got back two nights ago and we’ve pretty much been catching up on sleep since.

Now, you’ve probably noticed that like one out of four shows on the Discovery or National Geographic channels have something to do with Alaska. Usually, they refer to it as “Wild Alaska”, or something similar.

Well, if you’ve been there you don’t need me to tell you that it lived up to the hype. Whether we were hiking glaciers in Kennicott, powering through the Kenai Fjords along with a pod of Dall’s Porpoises or hauling ass up the infamous Dalton Highway toward the Arctic Circle and beyond, Alaska was nothing short of an amazing and glorious adventure at every turn.

But to me, the WILDEST thing about Alaska was something completely different…and something wholly unexpected.

You see, I’ve been hearing from guys who actually LIVE in Alaska for years now. They all say the same thing over and over:

“But Scot, I don’t have a girlfriend and the problem is that I live in Alaska. There are like 50 guys for every woman here. I have no chance with odds like that! The competition is too much to overcome.”

Having received probably fifty e-mails like that but never having been to The Last Frontier myself, you can imagine what I expected to see once we touched down at Ted Stevens Int’l, grabbed our luggage and caught a ride to the hotel.

Both Emily and I had been led to believe we’d encounter a veritable Armistice Day Parade of buff, interesting, “Marlboro Man” types interrupted only occasionally by some pasty, unappetizing chick named “Large Marge” in a 4×4 pickup truck with “Halliburton” on the side.

Instead, the reality was nothing short of SHOCKING.

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Do You Really Have A “Porn Problem”?

Seductive, Isn't It? What I’m about to share with you comes after months of consideration, countless conversations with real guys everywhere and yes…a final decision that despite how controversial my thoughts are going to be to some, this post really NEEDS to be written.

Here’s the thing. I get a lot of messages from guys on the subject of porn.

Typically, they’re worried that they have a very real problem in their life because they’re watching it. They wonder if it’s scarring them for life, disjointing their views of women or even “robbing them of masculine power”. They’re concerned that if any woman they ever go out with finds out about it, she’ll drop them like a hot potato.

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Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

Women Made Easy

Subject: A Dirty, Messy But Absolutely Thrilling Journey Into The Female Mind

What if… you could rise above the frustrated, confused ranks of men all over the world who are convinced women are impossible to understand?
In other words, what if you finally figured them out? For real…

By that I mean legitimately knowing what thoughts are going through their heads, why they do what they do, and best of all how to handle it all like a man.

Can you imagine how profound an advantage that would be? Women would flat-out adore you, connecting with you in an almost supernatural way–even as you wield more personal power in their presence than ever before.

Well, I’ve been literally immersed in the art and science of understanding women for over a decade. During that time I’ve empowered tens of thousands of average men to achieve way better than average results with the opposite sex.

And having been bombarded with questions from men all over the world who are completely nonplussed by what women say and what they do, I’ve come out with a killer new book on Amazon that answers them ALL. Check it out…it’s already a #1 bestseller in two categories within 24 hours of its official release:

http://www.womenmadeeasy.com/getthebook

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That New Bud Light Commercial Where They’re On A First Date

If you’ve been watching the NCAA tournament at all this year, you’ve probably already seen this commercial about three dozen times:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMExuin6U-c

Considering that it centers around a first date between two people who’ve met online, I figured it would be fun to talk about it some…especially since I haven’t broken down any TV commercials around here lately.

So let’s get into it.

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7 Clues That You’re Being Too Picky

Be Selective, Not Picky If you’ve been reading this blog and/or my newsletters for some time, you already know how much I tend to harp on “settling”.

Essentially, I firmly believe that we shouldn’t allow ourselves to get into a long-term relationship with ANYONE who isn’t really who we want.

That’s all well and good.

But a couple of days ago, someone wrote in and basically asked this:

“Okay, smart guy. It’s loud and clear by now that I shouldn’t ‘settle’. But wait a minute, Trigger. How am I supposed to know if I’m being TOO picky?”

Interesting. On the surface, one’s knee-jerk reaction might be to assume that if “settling” is such a dirty, forbidden state of affairs then there would theoretically not be any such thing as being “too picky”.

But as it turns out, you really CAN cross the line if you’re not careful.

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8 Signs Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Respect You Enough

I Get No Respect...No Respect At All. If the subject line of this post grabbed your attention, it’s probably because you’ve been there before.

You were crazy about a particular woman, and what do you know? She actually went out with you. What’s more, she actually became your girlfriend.

Maybe she was even as hot for you as you were for her…at least at first.

But over time, as things became more, shall we say, “familiar”, you started getting the sneaking suspicion that she was sort of taking you for granted.

In fact, you got the feeling that she fully expected you to stick around forever regardless of what she did or didn’t do for you.

She had clearly grown complacent. She had gotten used to keeping you around without having to exert much effort.

You just weren’t much of a “challenge” anymore.

And you know what? I realize this is going to sting a bit…but that can only mean she was losing respect for you.

That’s right. You’ve heard of the “Just Be Friends Zone”? Well, you had been banished to the “No Respect Zone”. And as you probably found out, it’s every bit as deep a pit to climb out of.

Now, before you start throwing rocks at your computer monitor and/or slam your iPad to the floor, here are eight ways to tell if what I’m bring up here really applies to you or not.

That’s right. I’ve identified a total of eight quick signs that a woman is losing respect for you—or has completely lost it already:

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Flirting Like Wildfire: 50 Hot “Done For You” Conversations That Lead To Sex

Hey everyone. Today marks the launch of my new book Flirting Like Wildfire on Amazon.com. I’ve put my heart and soul into it, as I do everything I write for y’all.

You can get your very own copy for a mere $2.99 here, and that includes access to a secret website containing ten free bonus audio programs, which is linked to at the end of the book.

Those audio programs cover a bunch of directly relevant topics like: how to talk dirty to a woman in the bedroom, how to move the sexual process along, getting a woman to reveal her deepest sexual fantasies, the scientific basis for falling in love, and lots more.

Sure, I’m giving away the farm for under three bucks, but hey…it’s all in the name of making it a “no brainer” for you to grab a copy and rocket it to #1 in its category on Amazon.

And what’s the book itself about? Well, the official description on Amazon pretty much says it all:

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5 Ways Dating Has Benefited From Modern Technology

We've Come A Long Way, Baby... Having driven over 2000 miles so far on our first annual “International Fall Road Trip” Emily and I have had plenty of time to come up with weird topics of conversation. Especially while driving through Missouri and Indiana late at night.

One such discussion centered around how modernity has affected dating relationships. Needless to say, there was a lot to talk about…a lot of it well worth sharing with you.

For the purposes of this post, though, I’m going to limit the scope to technical advances of the last 25 years or so. There’s no doubt that wondrous inventions like the automobile, motion pictures and heck, deodorant, have done wonders for the dating fortunes of millions. But geez, if you go back that far “dating” as we commonly know it didn’t even exist (although beer did). Nevertheless, I’ve got to draw the line somewhere.

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