6 Foolproof Ways To Make Your Male Unit Delicious To Women

 
Yesterday something happened that was at the very least amazing, even though it may signal the impending end of the universe as we know it.

It all started when I happened across a bizarre, weird post written by a woman named Holly Jean way back in April on a blog called http://www.myfatpocket.com. It had about thirty comments at the time.

The title? “How To Make Your Vagina Smell And Taste Delicious”.

Leave it to me, a dating coach, to post it to my Facebook Page with the innocuous caption, “Here’s a topic you don’t see covered every day.”

I didn’t think anything of it, but when I came back to check the page about ten minutes before writing this it had run up over 300,000 views, 850 comments, 700 likes and over 200 shares.

Basically the thing went viral and people are having an absolute BLAST talking about it.

One particularly intuitive comment jumped off the page and whacked me in the head, however. It read, simply: “Would cause some outrage if an article titled ‘How To Make Your D*ick Taste Delicious’ came up.” It had fifty likes already.

I instinctively knew such a piece HAD to be written, and that I was the guy who both had a vested interest in it and was crazy enough to do it. After all, it really is kind of a GREAT topic. I mean, how many guys have ever had a significant other who wasn’t particularly excited about giving oral?

So bring on the “outrage”. Here are six fast, surefire ways to make your unit FAR more palatable:

 

 

 
1) Get Out The Weed Whacker And Tame The Jungle

Holly mentioned the female equivalent of this in her OP, and true it is. As funny as the “gladiator” joke is (i.e. “What do you call a smiling man with hair in his teeth?”) the vast majority of us nowadays are even MORE “glad” if she’s silky smooth down there instead.

Well, considering we as guys can get legitimately bushier down there than most women are capable of, it’s no surprise that women generally find a shaved unit more “serviceable”.

Guys, no worries…I’m not about to recommend a Brazilian wax. You don’t actually need or probably want to clear out a vast region down there. You can and should remain male.

I am, however, suggesting that you take some barber scissors to the long hair first to shorten it up.

Then get in the shower and wash down there for at least a minute. Then shave your champion to about one inch north of the top of it, and then do the best you can to shave your scrotum and the area immediately underneath and around it.

Dealing with your sack is NOT easy. You’ll have to pull and stretch a bit to make sure you’re doing as good a job as you can. Here’s another tip: The hotter the shower, the more difficult this will be for obvious reasons. “Shrinkage” can actually help matters operationally in this case if you can handle a colder shower than you’re used to.

A side benefit to all of this, by the way, was best described by Jeff Foxworthy: “If you trim the bushes around your ‘deck’, it makes it look bigger.” Truth.

 
2) A Clean Unit Is A Happy Unit

If you just took a leak, don’t expect every woman to be excited about going down on you. Similarly, you’re producing smegma around your foreskin whether you like it or not—and whether you’re circumcised or not, for that matter. Most women will prefer that you clean up thoroughly down there, lest they have to taste sweaty, musky nastiness in addition to the other unsavory toxic waste already described.

The caveat there is that if you’re in an exclusive relationship this may be worth talking over, as some people (men or women) actually prefer muskiness down there in a partner, especially if the two of you are pheromonally compatible. This is a weird, physiological variable for sure, but it is what it is.

But when in doubt, clean up. That much is for sure.

And with those first two factors, you’ve basically got all you need to make your penis itself palatable. But what if you’d like to encourage her to be more excited about your semen? Here are some ideas…

 

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3) Hydrate

Okay, truth be told this one isn’t exactly foolproof for EVERY guy since we’re all different. But generally speaking, the more water you drink the more seminal fluid you’re likely to produce and therefore, the less your ejaculate will resemble radioactive glutinous applesauce.

Women will generally find the more hydrated version more appealing for a variety of subjective reasons, whether they’re tasting it, touching it or simply observing it spew forth. I really don’t feel compelled to get any more descriptive and/or scientific about it, so let’s just leave it at that.

 
4) Eat Wisely

Holly talked about avoiding certain foods and enjoying others in her OP in order to make vaginal secretions tastier. The guiding premise is much the same for us as guys.

Asparagus, spinach, coffee and curry spice all come to mind as having a detrimental effect on human secretions. If you can smell it on your urine or in your sweat, there’s probable cause there for believing it will also affect your semen…along with your male muskiness, for that matter.

Meanwhile, sweet fruits like pineapple, melons, strawberries and mangos are rumored to positively affect the palatability of male semen. Interestingly, I’ve also heard that artificial sweeteners can have an effect. Crazy, right?

As for timing, I would put the “dining plan” into action about 24 hours before you expect to be intimate. Oh, that reminds me…beer can be a semen killer, unfortunately. So much for that.

 
5) Clean The Pipes Regularly

Again, this applies to most guys but perhaps not every single one of us. The longer your semen sits in your system, the thicker and more yellowish it tends to get.

As you might expect, “thicker and more yellowish” translates to “more disgusting” in the estimation of most women. So be sure to put your testicles to work for you as often as you can (although maybe not THAT soon before you expect to have real, live sex.)

 
6) Give Before You Receive

Now, Holly the OP didn’t talk about this at all, but I happen to believe it could be the single most important factor of the six.

Simply stated, the BEST way to make a woman want your unit in her mouth is to LEAD. Do so by giving her the most amazing oral pleasure of her life first. Get her so turned on that all she can think about is losing all inhibition and tasting you as well.

If you’ve mastered the art of dirty talk, so much the better. Ultimately, there’s no better way than to make your unit delicious to her than to make her HUNGRY for it. How much sense does that make, right?

(By the way, If you want to get better at oral sex, dirty talk and all other areas related to being amazing in bed, I’d highly recommend getting your hands on Behind Closed Doors.)

You know what, I’ll admit it. This was both big fun and a challenge to write. Will it prove useful to you? Did I cover everything or did I miss something important? Let me know in the comment section below.

And hey, I also fully realize that unless you’ve got a real, live woman in your life who’s HOT for you, none of this even matters. Here are five sure signs that the woman you’ve been talking to lately wants to have sex with you.

 

Be Good,

Scot McKay

 

P.S. Holy mama…by the time I’m publishing this a couple of hours later the original Facebook post is now up to 502,528 views, 1354 comments, 1023 likes and 309 shares. Wowza!

P.P.S. UPDATE: Facebook has nixed the original post for not meeting their guidelines. Up in smoke…just like that!