7 Major Clues You’re Getting Better With Women

 
Twenty-Five Women, One ShotHey, there’s a lot of talk about how to improve your skills with women. But how do you know when you’ve actually ARRIVED?

On the surface, that seems like a silly question. I mean, you’re either attracting women or you’re not, right? When you start attracting women, all is good…at least you’d think so.

But what I’ve come to realize is that “success” isn’t really as tangible a commodity for most guys as they may have originally thought it would be.

Guys wonder if getting “rejected” at all means they’ve still got work to do.

They ask me if having six out of eight women responding to them online is “good enough”.

Still others want to know if they’re doing something wrong because they haven’t met their “100 out of 100” (e.g. perfectly imperfect) dream woman just yet.

Well, I can tell you definitively that 1) Even the most desirable men AND women can still never get EVERYONE they want. 2) At least 25% of the women you write to online will not write you back for reasons that have virtually NOTHING to do with you, and 3) it takes TIME to meet “The One”. In fact, it SHOULD…you’ve got to date enough to figure out what “The One” will even be like.

What we obviously need here, then, are some more reasonable yardsticks to measure “success” with.

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

I’m happy to oblige. Here are a seven, off the top of my head:

 

1. Your fantasies change

If you let your mind wander during a moment of idle inactivity, who do your fantasies turn toward?

Most guys think of a famous chick, a porn star or (especially) that girl from college who they could never get.

Meanwhile, guys who are successful with women often find themselves reliving fond memories of women they’ve actually BEEN WITH. If they ever find themselves on a porn site (which is likely an increasingly rare event, see #5 below) they gravitate towards women who remind them of someone they’ve dated….and liked.

 

2. You get a different version of the “I have boyfriend” talk

It’s got to be one of the most dreaded moments ever in most guys’ minds. That’s when you’ve been talking to a woman, decide to get her phone number and she says, “Oh…I have a boyfriend.”

Here’s the thing, though. Successful guys STILL hear those words. It’s just that they tend to hear it after, say, the THIRD DATE instead of the third minute.

What’s going on is that women find the guy irresistible and want to be with him. But soon enough, their conscience gets the best of them and they come clean with the fact they’ve been cheating on someone else to go out with him. Whoops.

Another variation might be, “I have a boyfriend, but he’s really not all that. Should I break up with him and go out with you instead?” The sooner you hear that, the more powerful the attraction. For what it’s worth, your “yes” answer in that scenario allows her to get rid of her boyfriend without blaming herself for it.

 

3. Double dates are worrisome for the opposite reason they used to be

Double dates can either be a blast or they can be awkward-city. It really all depends on two factors: 1) The strength of your friendship with the other couple, and 2) How strong both couples’ respective relationships are.

Lots of guys might fear that their girlfriend is going to start flirting with the OTHER guy, which would be humiliating. Often that’s a legit concern.

But the guy who is successful with women is more inclined to dread that the other guy’s girlfriend might start flirting with HIM, thereby putting a strain on the friend relationship. That might be an equally valid problem, as long as the guy is typically adored by women.

 

4. You understand first-hand why being needy/clingy is a killer

Show me a guy who showers a woman with pre-approval and way too many text messages, and I’ll show you a guy who has never experienced what it feels like to be on the receiving end of such desperation.

There really is an almost metaphysical switch that gets flipped in the human mind with someone is too “easy” to get. It’s weird, and it probably makes little sense. But make no mistake about it, it’s real…and it activates the “run away” mechanism. We just flat-out start thinking we could do better.

Successful guys stop chasing women and end up having to deal with women who keep throwing themselves in their direction instead. And yes, they lose attraction, suddenly realizing that the whole “chooser vs. chaser” dynamic really ISN’T gender specific.

 

5. You turn down sexual opportunities

This might be the one that comes off as the most utterly unbelievable to most “average” guys.

You see, I’m not really saying that successful men become more selective than sexually-deprived guys who’ll “screw anything that walks” (although that much is true, no doubt).

Rather, the point I’m making is that successful guys have MORE chances to have sex than they have time, wherewithal or even desire to go for it.

In other words, if you have five women who all want to come over every day because they’re horny, sometimes you’re really going to want to play golf, go have a beer with the guys, work on restoring your old Harley or kick back and watch the game instead, dammit.

You’ll start saying “not tonight” to women you’re not even married to. Imagine that.

Importantly, this situation actually begets even MORE sexual opportunity because the women in your life realize that you’re obviously NOT just about sex…and you’re also not ALWAYS available.

For what it’s worth, number “5a” here could be: You’re not masturbating to porn much anymore because you don’t have to.

 

6. You’re giving WAY more JBF talks than you’re receiving

It’s easy for a man who hears, “You’re a nice guy, but I think we should just be friends” for the hundredth time to believe that women have all the power.

But when he starts successfully attracting more women with natural masculinity, he tends to stop getting “JBFed” so often. In fact, he starts finding that some of the women he’s seeing don’t exactly turn him on as much as others. That’s when he realizes that the dreaded “JBF talk” isn’t a gender-specific phenomenon.

Some over-eager would be female chasers are going to have to face disappointment. There’s just not enough of you to go around… especially if you’re just not “feeling it”.

 

7. You’ve chosen one woman and you couldn’t be more stoked

Yeah, we’ve all heard it before.

“Marriage is only a dirty trick by women to lock us guys down.”

“If you allow yourself to get married, you’re nothing more than a wuss who’s sawed his own balls off.”

Funny how nearly all of the pickup artist types who were famously saying that sort of thing eight or ten years ago are now married…with children.

I’ve personally been married to Emily for nearly eight years, and never looked back. By now we have four children, too.

Lookit. If you have OPTIONS, and a woman comes along who makes you WANT to forsake all others, then that’s a VERY good thing. Make that decision from a position of abundance rather than scarcity and you’ll be a happy man (with a very happy woman).

In the end, provided that a stable long-term relationship is what you want, success with WOMAN trumps success with women.

 

Having read the list, you may be able to relate to one, several of all of what I described. That’s a good thing.

Perhaps you can point to times in your life where you were doing relatively well, as opposed to being in a “slump” at other times.

Or maybe you’re only more frustrated now than ever. If that’s the case, all is NOT lost. Contact me and we can get you on track to very real success. That way you can take your rightful place at the table with the other guys who’ve “arrived”. If you want a jump start, here’s a free PDF report on how to get first dates and turn them into second dates every time.

 

Be Good,

Scot McKay

 

P.S. What do you think? Did I get the list right or am I way off base? What did I forget to mention? Are you outraged that I’d come up with such a list to begin with? Let me know what’s on your mind in the comment section below.

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 








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7 Replies to “7 Major Clues You’re Getting Better With Women”

  1. Wow! It’s like it just hit me, I’m actually quite successful with women and good lord, YOU Mr. mckay, have a lot to do with it. Thanks for the great content.

  2. Right on…selection is a two-way street. If you are more focused on winning (the forever girl) than scoring there plenty of JBF speeches…oddly this seems to light a fire under some, illustrating the chooser/chaser scenario is valid.

  3. It was awsome Scott, but I got 2 questions. 1-How am I suppose to manage my schedule if I want 2 date multiple women at once? Cause workin, gym& other stuff Are piling up and I can’t live without sleep. 2- How to figure the numbers, money wise if I can do it or I’m just sinking myself by trying? Thanx

    1. Lee, I’d say the answers you’re looking for are pragmatic ones. You simply have to see each woman less often, and that’s accomplished by setting the expectation early on that you won’t be able to see them every day, or every other day, etc.

      As for money, the trap that a lot of guys fall into is thinking that dates/get-togethers have to be expensive. They don’t. In fact, you don’t have to spend a dime. Perhaps ironically to some, women might actually appreciate that because they don’t feel the pressure of being “bought”, and also because the focus is on interaction and getting along rather than trying to “impress” her.

  4. Leonardo Morlans says:

    To be honest, your list is on point. Although it is my firmly held belief that you forgot #8. When you’re in the best physical shape, and have a well defined set of 6 pack abs. My theory behind #8 is that Ugly people have to do a lot more explaining then sexy people do.. oh I’m lying? OK.. when an ugly person sends you a request, you sit and wonder for a minute. You wonder why this person is trying to add you.. You may go as far as messaging them “do I know you” then they’ll have to explain their reason for adding you, in order for you to decide if it’s safe to accept.. But when a hottie or a handsome fellow with all the muscle sends you a request, you add them in crackhead speed.

    1. This post was more about external indicators, however. What you’re talking about is the more general topic of “how to be attractive”.

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