7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love

Posted on September 23, 2013
Filed Under Being Cool, Cook For Your Date, Dating Coaching, Men Attracting Women, Newsletter Follow-Up, Online Dating, Pickup, Podcasting/New Media


 
Get Your Game OnI’m not sure what it is lately, but I’ve been getting more than my fair share of e-mails from guys saying something to the effect of this:

“But Scot, I’m incredibly useless/boring/average and there’s nothing about me that a woman would be attracted to, especially compared to other guys out there.”

My knee-jerk reaction is to encourage men who think that way to stop comparing themselves to others and take control over their circumstances instead. Thankfully, we can DO SOMETHING to change the way things are if we just don’t feel like we’ve got a whole lot to offer a woman. That’s what deserving what you want is all about.

But I have to be honest with you. My knee-jerk reaction has to yield to a gut-level hunch in this case. That’s this: I’d be willing to bet that you ALREADY HAVE some pretty badass skills in your toolbox. The problem is that you simply aren’t leveraging them.

Here are seven examples of common skills that thrill women to no end. You may already possess some of these, but the reason I’ve selected them in particular is because they can be acquired with a modicum of effort:

Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

1) Fixing Stuff

Right now, as we speak you might already consider yourself a whiz at plumbing, electrical work, carpentry, automotive repair or the like. If so, that’s a VERY GOOD thing.

But if you don’t consider yourself so handy, here’s the truth. It’s extremely likely that you’re better at fixing things than you think, if you’d only give it a shot.

I know this because for YEARS I personally avoided getting involved with any kind of repairs that I didn’t already feel confident with (which is to say, practically all of them).

Then one day somebody wanted more money to repair something than I could afford. So I read the friggin’ manual. And what do you know? I fixed it myself. And it wasn’t that hard.

You too can do this, and the experience will be good for you. In fact, for most basic repairs the true skill involved is following directions.

In fact, let’s take this conversation even further. I don’t care who you are, my bet is that you already know how to fix SOMETHING. Every man who’s ever lived has been forced to figure out how to repair certain things, even if it was because some sort of emergency situation forced his hand.

For example, that’s actually how most of us discovered that we know how to change a flat tire. Go figure…

Now, I’m not saying you have to know how to jet racing carbs or calibrate Pratt & Whitney turbofans in order to make the grade here. All you really have to do is start thinking of yourself as “useful” and then get on with it. In the vast majority of cases, the very first time you attempt to repair something will be the only time you need to in order to feel confident about doing it the next time.

To be perfectly frank with you, plenty of women (especially single moms) already know how to fix stuff themselves. They’ve learned how through the very same process I just described. But fortunately for us, it still turns them on to no end when we can handle it instead.

 

2) Knowing Another Language

Oh, I know what you’re saying. “Scot, man…I took like six years of Spanish in school and I still don’t know diddly. You’ve got to be kidding.”

Yeah, well…who ever said anything about being fluent?

For some insane, undisclosed reason women go BONKERS with attraction whenever a guy they’re already somewhat intrigued by throws down another language. That’s true even if it’s just one strategic phrase.

Heck, it can even be one WORD. If you know how to say “thank you” in Arabic (“shokran”) you’re already WAY AHEAD of almost everyone. Bust out with that the next time the opportunity presents itself and watch your woman’s jaw drop.

Indeed, knowing how to greet people and thank them in as many languages as you can think of is a KILLER arrow to have in your quiver.

Even if you just know how to pronounce menu items at French, Italian and Mexican restaurants you’ve probably already separated yourself from the herd. If you can order wine like a champion that’s even better.

 

3) Music

Here we go again. “But Scot…”

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

So you’re not wielding an axe like Yngwie Malmsteen just yet. That’s fine. Hang in there with me, here.

One of the most amazing moments of my entire life was when I discovered I could attract a half-dozen young, single hotties while doing something I previously dreaded…the laundry.

I took a guitar to the laundromat, sat on the table and strummed four or five songs that contained the same three chords each.

You’d have thought I had stapled catnip to my boxers.

It takes about ten minutes to learn a G-C-D chord progression (Google it), and about a week’s worth of sporadic practice until your fingertips stop hurting.

And it’s not like you need a $3000 Taylor guitar either. Go to a pawn shop and pick up a half-decent old beater for $75 and you’re in. I recommend a Yamaha or Seagull because they’re both known to be easy on the fingers.

Some of you also have piano lessons in your past. If it has been years since you blew the dust off, you might be shocked at how quickly it all comes back to you.

Others of you played the sax in junior high. That can work well also, as it has been known to for Bill “Slick Willie” Clinton.

Now, if you went with the tuba or bassoon back in school, I’m not sure there’s an app for that. But if all else fails, I will say this much…most people are WAY better singers than they think they are. It’s just that most of us are straight-up terrified of singing in front of people.

Why not throw it all out on the table the next time you’re at a karaoke bar? Just give it a “test run” and see how it goes.

 

4) Cooking

You knew this was coming. After all, I literally wrote the book on this skill.

Seriously though, this really is the “nuclear weapon” of attraction and I’ll tell you why. For starters, the basic fact of the matter is that almost nobody knows their way around the kitchen nowadays. That alone makes a man who can cook interesting.

This past Wednesday night Emily and I went to a birthday party at some Mexican restaurant. The place was packed. There were two dozen other restaurants nearby, and the parking lots of each one were overflowing. Practically NOBODY cooks dinner at home anymore. If they do, it’s probably pre-processed crap in a box.

Needless to say, if you find a great woman who CAN cook, good for you. But if you can challenge her to an “Iron Chef Battle”, she’s probably going to accept…and that’s even better.

In fact, that’s exactly what I used to do. I went so far as to talk about it in my online dating profile. I’d have women show up AT MY HOUSE who I hadn’t ever met before. And yes, I’d cook something amazing for them. Sometimes they helped, which was cool too.

There’s really no better way to build rapport and set the precedent for intimacy than by cooking dinner and eating together in a private environment (i.e. your place or hers).

By the way, if you can boil water you can do this. I’m fully self-taught, and once again this is yet another skill that just isn’t as difficult as people make it out to be.

 

5) Negotiating

Oh man, this one is PRICELESS.

Did you know that most women really CAN’T STAND having to negotiate deals? That’s especially true if it’s a BIG deal, and it goes DOUBLE if she’s got to negotiate with a bunch of “macho” dudes who’ll probably not respect her.

Meanwhile, here’s something you may or may not have figured out about the art of negotiation. It’s WAY less stressful to negotiate someone else’s deal than one you’re directly involved in.

The fact that you perceive there to be less at stake when you’re not directly involved can actually be a good thing, as long as you do indeed care what happens. It keeps your thoughts clear and focused while taking personal emotion about what you want and/or what you fear pretty much out of the equation.

It’s kind of like how it’s easier for me to tell you how to write a first-e-mail to a woman online than it was for me to come up with something whenever I saw a woman’s profile pic that was so hot she stopped me in my tracks. I don’t have any extreme desire or fear of loss working against me when I make suggestions for others.

All of this can only lead to one thing. A woman will think you’re INCREDIBLE if you go with her to the Fiat Dealership and help her get a great deal on that “cute little yellow one” she’s been dreaming of.

She may ultimately think you’re even more amazing if you talk her out of it altogether, but that’s a different blog post.

Anyway, here’s the thing. You don’t really have to be a big-time “closer” to get this right. First of all, the fact that you’re a GUY almost automatically means the salesmen aren’t going to play as many games with you. That’s just the way it is. It’s not like you’re going to be intimidated by some car salesman’s “machismo”, are you?

Even if the dealership is run by women, being a guy is still going to be a plus. I can assure you that from direct experience.

As for the negotiation itself, advance preparation is everything. Knowledge is power, and the Internet makes everything dead simple nowadays. The numbers you arm yourself with will ultimately trump just about any dealer’s attempt at taking her for a ride.

Your first move should be to go to Edmunds.com and see what the exact car she wants (options included) goes for locally. Those guys give information for the US market, but I’m sure there are sites like that for those of you outside the States.

If she’s got a car to trade in, figure out whether she’s better off selling it herself or not first, remembering how sales tax will play into it. If she’s likely to do better trading it in, check both Edmund’s and Kelly Blue Book (kbb.com) to get an idea of what she should be getting for it. Then, just print off all the numbers and take them with you to the dealership.

Don’t let the sales guys tell you that the information you gathered is “inaccurate” or any other B.S. Stick to your guns and they’ll soon figure out they can’t play that game with you.

In fact, you’re actually better off keeping your cards close at first, leading with more favorable numbers than your research may have led you to expect. You might be amazed when they actually go for a better deal than you think, so it’s okay to swing for the fence at first.

Bear in mind also that you can typically sell your car to a different dealership than you buy the new one from. Not everyone knows that and it’s a true ace in the hole. It’s actually useful to go to Carmax first just to get a baseline, real-world trade in value.

Actually, here’s something else useful to know. If you’ve got your eye on one particular car sitting on a certain dealer’s lot, another dealer can actually sell it to you through a process called “dealer trade”.

Finally, be sure to take her to multiple dealerships. You’ll know fairly quickly how good the offer is from the first dealer you visited.

When we bought Emily’s current car we actually got a better deal for her old one from Carmax than Kelley had told us to expect if we sold it ourselves—and several thousand more than what other dealers had been offering.

Then the dealership we bought her new vehicle from wrote us a deal on it that beat all others by $2500.

With the new car’s price negotiated independent of the trade, we then leveraged the Carmax quote on the old car and they beat it by a nominal sum, saving us a step.

The fact that they had they exact car Emily wanted on their lot further simplified matters, so the deal was about as streamlined as possible. Obviously, a little shopping and negotiating paid BIG dividends.

I’m sure it also helped that we bought the new car at 9pm on the last day of the month, right when the salesmen are about as motivated as humanly possible.

Here endeth the car buying lesson, but suffice it to say women will love you if you can work similar magic at the furniture store, with real estate agents or in any other big-ticket instance where negotiation matters.

 

6) Driving

I’m not going to get into the whole debate as to whether men are better drivers than women or not. It’s actually sort of irrelevant, anyway.

The point is that when you’re with a woman she’d greatly prefer if YOU did the driving. That’s true a startling percentage of the time even if you’re in HER car. This can only mean that you have to be an EXCELLENT driver. And I don’t mean like the Rain Man. I mean for real.

Now see, to some guys that means that they know how to rev their motor and “burn rubber”. But to women an “excellent driver” is the guy who she feels perfectly safe sitting next to in the passenger seat.

Focus on that part, which you learned in order to get your license to start with, when she’s with you. She’ll LOVE you for it. There’s just no finer way to come off as a protector.

You can cross off the performance driving school item off your bucket list at some point, and she may even like going with you to track days afterwards…but that comes long after you establish your ability to think and act effectively behind the wheel.

By the way, if you don’t know how to drive a stick shift, learn.

And yes, I know some of you live in dense metropolitan areas where it’s actually a liability to have a car so you don’t drive. I still think you should get your license, if only because you might want to rent a car the next time you go to Los Angeles…or date a chick who lives in the suburbs.

 

7) Winning Prizes At Carnivals

What an easy way to be a woman’s hero this is. Words cannot describe how much women love you when you win them some cheesy panda bear at the fair.

Nevertheless, this is an area where 90% of men out there will make every blasted excuse in the book to keep from having to face up to the truth: If you wimp out, you suck.

Notwithstanding that, it’s actually pretty easy to see why so many men are reticent to even go there. If they do indeed play—and lose—they’ll instantly look like a, well, loser in front of their girlfriends.

But you can count on this every single time. Some other guy’s going to win the pink and orange koala and his girl is going to be BEAMING. Meanwhile, YOUR girl is going to wish she was her.

So essentially, there are only three options: 1) Wimp out and suck, 2) look like a loser in front of literally everyone, or 3) win.

Obviously, the third option is the only viable one. Yes, you’ve got to spend $20 to win a bear worth $10…assuming you’ve got stone-cold skills. But I promise you the investment you’re really making is NOT in the bear.

So then, let’s make this as painless on you as possible. Go for the booth where you bust balloons with darts.

That really is the easiest one of the lot, while still having the right psychological effect. All you really have to do in order to win stuff at carnivals forever is to spend $20 the next time you’re at one without a woman and you’ll be good at it by the time you’re done.

Second place goes to the game where you shoot water into a hole faster than anyone else. You should start winning the second time you try it, simply by holding your aim from the first attempt.

But the darts are the true winner because of the all-important perceived skill involved. Let’s face it, you can’t just pick little floating ducks out of a kiddie pool and get lucky. That game doesn’t count.

For what it’s worth, the basketball games tend to be much harder than they look because the hoop is usually smaller.

Actually, the game where you shoot the red star out of the center of a piece of paper has got to be the hardest. The secret is to shoot a circle around the star, but even then I’ve had the guy find one speck of red dust on the back of the card and deny me the victory.

I’m telling you…it’s balloons for the win.

 

Yes, you still need to have a sense of style, have the right body language, clean up and do the best with what you have. You know, everything that will make a good first impression.

But if you unleash any (or all) of the seven skills I’ve shared with you I can double-dog guarantee you that women will not only be duly impressed, they’ll flat-out adore you…all without you having to “fake it” or pull any kind of weird tricks.

Now, I’m sure you could dig deep and add even more completely cool skills to the seven I listed. I invite you to do so in the comments section. Essentially, ANY skill that demonstrates that you are a man who leads with a solution for making a woman feel safe, comfortable and provided for will be right on the money.

Or maybe you have some questions and/or good stories of your own to add. I’d love to hear those too.

 

Be Good,

Scot McKay

 

 
Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

 

Comments

20 Responses to “7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love”

  1. All of your seven points had me feeling warm and fuzzy. Alycia

    Reply

  2. Ron

    yes,

    and after putting in the time to learn, hone and master all those skills you’ll have no life left and you will realize you have done it for all the wrong reasons: to impress women.

    Reply

    • Oh, I don’t know. It’s darned fun to impress women. We’re pretty much biologically wired to take great enjoyment in it, so I tend not to be as hard on guys who take the time to be good at it as some of the more bitterness-prone PUA types are. I mean, what is the RIGHT reason to learn how to break balloons with darts? So you can become the “world champion” at it for your own personal edification?

      That said, the other six have valuable applications in the real-world for any man, regardless. So if you’ve got the skills, leverage them.

      I will say that I draw the line at spending lots of money on cars just to impress women because, 1) True enthusiasts deserve a great car more than someone who doesn’t know how to drive it, and 2) high-quality women don’t usually care anyway. You’ll note that neither “spending money on stuff you don’t really want” nor “acting like a douche” aren’t on the list. Keepin’ it real matters.

      No matter what, I hope we can all agree that women who take the time to be impressive to men make life a whole lot nicer. So goes the dance…

      Reply

    • will

      Actually ron, I beg to differ… It would never be a waste of time ,in my own eyes, to improve ones self.. see the main fact isnt to ” impress” the women but to impress yourself and with that gaining confidence in yourself.. wich in turn is very atractive to women.. I myself have set many goals in my life( and I dont expect that everyone has to or should live their life the way I did)and just by trying to achieve those goal is way better than wussing out and not trying at all.. Ive spent 8 years in the active military, I created oppertunities in my life to be able to travle and and see every state on the east coast and the Eastern half the unitedstates and california. And actually lived in Europe for 12 years… But no matter where I went I looked for and found every POSSITIVE thing I could find and enjoy.. I have met many people from different states and countries mostly i approached then in order to ask questions about them and where they came from and to learn and understand their country and customs with out fear.. for one because the people were proud of thier country and customs and two the were excited and more than will to tell me because of the simple fact that I showed an interest to learn.. and that makes great conversation with any one. and even better if you have first hand knowledge of it. but most of all I did it to impress MYSELF . And to learn about more than what is ” in my back yard” But I want you to know… that most of the people around the world in general are the same.. if you show an interest… they were more than willing to teach me about what they knew and even more than willing to learn about me and what I had to teach them about where I came from.. did you ever ask your self why women go crazy about a guy from a different country ?? well I found that out being the one man that came from the US and was the ” guy from the different country” when I was in Europe… the answer was… I WAS DIFFERENT !!!

      Reply

    • Garry

      I don’t think it’s so much about adding new skills to impress, as adding skills to enhance our own lives and recognizing the full impact of those skills.

      The driving one, and Scot lives in Texas so his take on this reflects his warm winters. Where I live the big driving challenge is winter driving. Being a good driver in snow (and having an F250) means women I’ve dated have felt safe relying on me to get them around in winter, and means we have more time together than if she was camped out in a hotel close to work and I was home 20 miles away.

      Another driving skill that has all sorts of quality of life and quality of dating applications is keeping cool in heavy traffic. If you’re tense, she’s tense. I remember a couple yrs ago driving on the PA pike the Weds before Thanksgiving, we were going to my then gf’s parents for the holiday wkend. I was the first guy she’d taken home for the holiday since her divorce, so she had some tension of her own, how it would go with her parents, sibs, their s/o’s, etc. Traffic was a bear. If a guy is losing his cool in the holiday bedlam it’s gonna spillover to her, but coming off as calm and unrattled relaxed her.

      I don’t agree with learning guitar just to impress strangers, but I do believe in living with enthusiasm and confidence, learning whatever excites us. I think women are more like men in this respect than we realize. It’s easier for me to approach a woman where there is a built in conversation starter in something she is doing that is genuinely interesting to me, than one who is staring blankly into space. Same applies for our catching a woman’s attention. Plus, I think all people, men and women, are intrigued by people who have skills and things they can do well . . .be it playing guitar, painting, cooking, navigating various aspects of life. Mastery and excellence are sexy in many forms.

      One of the most hollow mantras of the PUA community is the ‘wait 3 days before calling her’ stuff. What’s the point? To make her believe you’re a guy involved in life with a lot going on and a lot to offer her. Problem is, that advice is about deception if it encourages a guy to spend a couple evenings staring at the TV and reigning in his desire to reach for the phone. What I think Scot is saying here and in his books and audio programs as well is to make yourself into the guy who has an involved and full life, to make it, not fake it. Learning cool stuff that interests you, be it guitar or whatever, even if the motivation isn’t meeting chicks (especially if the motivation isn’t meeting chicks) will benefit us more in women’s eyes than making ‘being better with women’ (at the expense of being our best selves) a priority ever will.

      Reply

      • No doubt with an e-mail address like that you’d better have mad skeelz driving in snow. But yeah man, I completely agree. Driving in weather and in traffic is a great opportunity to keep your cool and be a protector. And yes, you could certainly list other areas of mastery that would get women pretty excited.

        I totally don’t agree with the “3 Day Rule” either, mostly because it’s just postponing looking needy and desperate if that’s in fact the case. Meanwhile, if you’re NOT needy or desperate you can call any woman any time you want and it won’t come off that way.

        You’re correct about my baseline premise, by the way…but hey, sometimes giving objective examples really helps the process along.

        Reply

  3. Jammer

    Ugh, tax…

    Ugh, creepy salesmen…

    Ugh, carnies with missing teeth…

    Thanks for the help!

    P.S. “So goes the dance” is a stab at dancing lessons to impress/meet/pick up girls in clubs?

    Reply

  4. Lisa

    I once met a man who, upon entering my house for the first time, put up the carbon monoxide detector I was concerned about and preparing to install, bam, bam- just like that! It was the thing that put it over the top and impressed me so that I decided right there that I would be his girlfriend. We were in a relationship for four and a half years and are still friends to this day, six years later. May I also add that he really knew what he was doing on several levels- because he was a fireman. Additional points there.
    I’m not easily impressed but he did it on that day. I fix some household and car things myself but I have to say, as I mature I find that men who can fix things,(without drama) are worth their weight in gold.

    Reply

    • A-ha…and I noticed you didn’t say that you decided to be “just his friend”.

      And yes, I could probably have added “become a volunteer fireman” to this list. I really wish I lived where there was a volunteer F.D. I’d absolutely be in.

      Reply

  5. Hey Scott, you just made me remember a little story of mine when I was little and my dad did something incredible for my little brother. This proofs how the ability to negotiate and play till the victory is indeed something to embrace:

    I was probably like 11 or 12 years old when my family and I went to Six Flags in Mexico City. When we were there my 5 year old bro fell in love with Silvester the Cat stuffed animal at the games carnival. So in order for my brother to have the freakin Sylvester, my dad had to score 4 shots out of 5 at the basketball game to win Sylvester. Something like that, can’t remember the scoring details. The lady at the carnival gave my dad the wrong info because apparently you had to play 2 games to win Sylvester.

    So my dad, a good basketball player as he were ever since, had scored all the shots onto the ring. Just when my dad and Carlos (my small brrother) had thought they’ve won Sylvester, the lady gives my dad Tweety the Bird. Well, my brother then started to cry out of disappointment after believing my dad had won Sylvester and my mom also got the shakiness of anxiety. My dad and mom were a bit angry at the lady for giving them the wrong info. My dad asked previously what it would take to win Sylvester previous to playing, and the lady said that yes, one would had to score all to win Sylvester. Basically, it was a misunderstanding.

    So my dad went into negotiation, but man it was tough…the lady at the carnival went to get the manager so that they could solve the issue. So the manager told my dad he had to play again to win Sylvester. So, just like Dale Carnegie would recommend, my dad decided he would play again because he didn’t want to argue with these people.

    This time my dad didn’t score all the shots. He was out of his element due to the stress. My brother was very sad and my dad said to him that he did what he could, that he would buy it for him instead. Just when he had lost the game, the manager came to my dad and had empathized with him and my little brother, so he gave my dad the Sylvester and excused himself for the misunderstanding. He was quite a nice gentleman.

    In the end, my dad became the hero because man, I have never seen anyone put such an effort, not to mention my brother’s crying, my panicking mom and a sense of ridicule in front of strangers playing and listening to discussion. He also had the luck to interact with another man that understood him. That doesn’t come every day.

    The lesson there was seeing what a man would do for his family. He was regarded as the hero up until today.

    Up to this day, my dad says he is still thinking of putting that Sylvester cat into a pedestal or showcase, because he went through pains to get it.

    I felt like sharing this story…talking about carnival games and negotiation. I was the one who kept Tweety. We still have them – my dad always tells us this story when he sees Sylvester the cat.

    Reply

    • I completely understand the emotions involved there. I still have that blasted (literally) paper with the red star shot out of it. It’s 20 years old now and it still pisses me off!

      Reply

  6. suzan

    Thanks, useful points,
    :)

    Reply

  7. Christine

    Learn how to kiss!

    I think a man should kiss a woman (on the lips) quite early on in the dating process.
    If he gets it right – she’ll be hooked. It takes you out of the ‘just be friends’ category
    Hint…. look after your teeth and gums – use breath freshener.

    Reply

  8. Savannah

    This is what I noticed: ‘Yes, you’ve got to spend $20 to win a bear worth $10…assuming you’ve got stone-cold skills. But I promise you the investment you’re really making is NOT in the bear.’

    Why, why, why are so many men so tight-fisted about spending money? It’s SO not attractive.

    Reply

    • Agreed, but there’s a distinction to be made between being a tightwad and being sensible with money. You’ll find that most intelligent men who are effective leaders and providers aren’t very interested in wasting money. So in this case I was making the point for the value of the investment beyond the obvious prize.

      Reply

  9. Vlad

    All the 7 points were great!
    I couldn’t agree more!
    There’s one thing I think could be a valuable addition to all this though, and that’s the skill of picking up heavy stuff. You know – pick it up with your legs, keep your back straight, etc.(It’s amazing how many people have no clue how to move something that requires an effort off the ground and end up looking like an uncoordinated heap of limbs.) Going to the gym for a whale (and even better – for more than a while) and learning the deadlift does the trick.
    And then someday when you have to unhinge a door or something, and you do it effortlessly, your woman will look at you like you’re the hero of her dreams. You can’t possibly get enough of that look.
    Oh, and for all the guys that are going to whine how you don’t have to be efficient in any kind of physical movement, labor or activity to be attractive – yes, yes you do.

    Reply

  10. Driving? Check, fixing stuff? check, cooking? Shit, I have to work on that.

    I honestly prefer it when the woman cooks for me ;-)

    Reply

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