The Official Blog Of Scot McKay – Page 6 – Deserve What You Want And Never, Ever Settle

Twiduction: How To Meet Women On Twitter [Free E-Book]

As you already know, we talk a lot about online dating around here. As a matter of fact, we sort of live and breathe it.

We’re also sort of into social networking. Just a little bit. You can find us on Facebook, MySpace, and–most recently–Twitter.

But here’s the million-dollar question: Why hasn’t anyone figured out how to leverage Twitter as an online dating site?

I mean, it’s like a no-brainer. No kidding.

Yeah, yeah. I realize the “ratio” is terrible. So is your “competition”, believe me.

And I also realize that the idea of getting social proof on there looks really intimidating. Well, it doesn’t have to be.

You may also be wondering how much you can get done in a bunch of 140-character pieces. Let’s just say your first e-mails to women on Match.com are probably too bloated anyway, and this is just what the doctor ordered.

So if the “doctor” ordered it, what’s the prescription? Well, you got the “fever” to meet hotties on Twitter, and the only cure is Twiduction: How To Meet Women On Twitter.

Fortunately, unlike a real “doctor” there’s no “copay”, and I don’t need your insurance card. Forget that. I feel about doctors much like Erin Brockovich feels about lawyers. Then again, ditto on the lawyers, too.

But the important thing here is that what I originally envisioned as a four part blog series ended up being A LOT more than that. The more I wrote, the more I realized there was more to say than I had expected.

Ultimately, it became a full-on e-book. 73 pages worth.

Pretty much, it’s a “comprehensive guide” instead of an “overview”. I couldn’t stop writing…the ideas just kept on flooding the circuits.

And I mean, sheesh…I launched thing on Twitter (where else?) two nights ago, and within 24 hours I had e-mails from at least three techie guys informing me of the minute details I’d missed.

So what did I do? I added them in, of course. This is the friggin’ “Second Edition” already, for cryin’ out loud.

So I hope the techies are happy. Basically, even if you have no idea what a Twitter is, you’re about to get the complete hook-up in this book–iincluding the full tutorial on the site. Seriously.

All that’s long for, “instead of some blog posts, you’re fixin’ to get immediate gratification”.

Yes, based on that last sentence you’ve probably just come to a valid conclusion, so allow me to confirm your suspicions: The book is F-R-E-E. All you do is click here, and getchasum.

You enter your e-mail address on that page and start getting my newsletter…but you should be doing that already. Then, once you hit the button that takes you to the next page it’s all blue-sky from there.

Twiduction: How To Meet Women On Twitter will be staring straight at you in all its PDF glory, ready to be downloaded securely to your desktop and devoured.

And once again, in case you missed it the first time, that “devouring” is to be done for F-R-E-E.

So have fun with this one, guys. And ladies, you’ll likely enjoy it too, despite its title.

Whatever you do, “follow” me on Twitter and I’ll “follow” you back automatically: http://www.twitter.com/scotmckay

You can even “follow” Emily while you’re at it. She also “auto-follows”: http://www.twitter.com/emilymckay

More soon.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

P.S. Ladies, be sure to click the banner below and watch Emily’s new video. I tweaked it a bit and made it even better.

Online Dating Success…A Real-World 76% Response Rate?

OK, here it is. I get a lot of heat from certain people regarding the claim of being able to achieve a 60-80% response rate from Match.com. Apparently, some guys believe that’s a notion so preposterous as to be flat-out impossible.

Actually, some women even think it’s a bit over-the-top to expect that.

Well, let me take this opportunity to tell you I believe you can do it. Moreover, the solution is well within your grasp, courtesy of Online Dating Domination.

But hey, I can understand why some would be skeptical. After all, most guys quit online dating in frustration…never having gotten a single date from the experience to show for it.

And it’s not like that’s really their fault. After all, the way some of these dating sites are set up, it really looks like the deck is stacked against us guys from the very beginning…with the interface having been designed almost invariably to appeal to female clientele, who are always harder to get to sign up.

All in all, it’s hard to portray yourself as the man you truly are, and even harder to get the mission-critical first e-mails right.

Taking everything I just shared into consideration, I wanted to share an e-mail with you I just received from a guy who is seeing some amazing success online. Better yet, he’s getting the job done after only a month and a half.

I really love it when guys outperform my “preposterous” claims. It’s even better when they do so in record time, in a notoriously competitive metro area (San Francisco) and–get this–are meeting super hot women in the process. I deleted the screen names he provided here for obvious reasons, but I’ll tell you…this guy has very good taste.

Hey Scot,

Hope all’s well on your end as we cruise into the holidays. I have some comments and then some quick questions…

First of all, I have to say that although I’ve only been exploring it for a month now, I’m pleasantly surprised with online dating. Before giving it a go I wasn’t sure what to expect, with some people hailing it as a great weapon in one’s dating arsenal (yourself included), and others out there who complain about nobody replying and there being only fat chicks.

Thus far, I’ve seen those negatives to be totally bogus. I’m batting 17/21 (76%) for initial replies and about 11/22 (52%) that I’ve already met or appear to be heading in that direction with.

I’ve met three of these women so far this past weekend and they were all great women…very smart and looked much better than their profiles, two being undeniably beautiful, the other more of an intense “cute”.

The one I saw today was drop dead gorgeous in person and very fun and we laughed a lot, as I did with the other two as well.

The other two have already expressed interest in meeting up again, and I suspect the woman I met today will be similar. Thanks a lot for the cool ideas in your products that played a definite role in getting me thus far down the “path”.

—Michael

So there you have it. Stone-cold proof that you can get ridiculous online dating success…if you have the right plan.

And what’s up with the exact percentages? I’m grateful that you ran the numbers Michael, but I hope you aren’t taking a sliderule on dates. Considering he’s in SF, he can probably perform complex calculus equations on his iPhone anyway.

So major kudos to Michael. If you’ve got success stories, I want to hear ’em. If your success stories still have yet to be written, I strongly suggest you get your hands on Online Dating Domination and stop putting that success off any longer.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

P.S. Ladies, be sure to click the banner below and watch Emily’s new video. It’s a lot of fun.

Mainstream “Dating Experts” And The Mama’s Boys Who Love Them

Over Thanksgiving, I was in my hotel room flipping through the small amount of channels on the television. I stopped on one of those morning shows. You know the typical ones. The people are over the top happy, Rachael Ray cooks a roast in two minutes, and corny jokes are made.

So right before I was about to change over to Sportscenter, I heard that they were bringing on two dating experts to talk about a couple of things. The topics to be discussed were: what it means when he is crying, why he texts you, first date manners, and what is he or she really saying.

I had to stay tuned in. After the commercial, the two “experts” were there. It was a guy and a girl. The guy was a very metro looking guy who was a DJ on Cosmo satellite radio. Strike one and two, trust me. The girl I believe either worked for Cosmo magazine or something similar to that nature. Before they opened their mouths I had an open mind to see what they had to say. Needless to say, before I get into it, they began arguing with each other like two 8 year olds.

Continue reading “Mainstream “Dating Experts” And The Mama’s Boys Who Love Them”

Motivation Turbo-Charger Part 1: Getting Going

I want to make a confession. I have been putting off writing this article for about a week. I know that I have lots to write about, and yet I didn’t write this article until this very moment. I even made up all those “other” things to do around my office to avoid writing this.

And then it suddenly struck me: This is exactly how most guys put their love life on hold.

Some immerse themselves in work, some play computer games or watch porn on the Internet, and some collect any and all kinds of knowledge about picking up and seducing women, with little practical application.

Other guys actually get a lot of action going for a while, but then their motivation starts to subside.

Can you relate to any of these situations? If you can, then carry on reading. (And if you can’t relate, then you’re probably already very successful with women!)

Continue reading “Motivation Turbo-Charger Part 1: Getting Going”

Emily Is On Christian Carter’s Interview Series This Month

You’ve probably seen the banners on this blog for the past couple of weeks, but now that December is finally here it’s time for the official word: Yes…Emily is Christian Carter’s guest for his “Interviews With Dating Experts” series this month.

For you ladies who are reading, this probably requires little explanation. Christian Carter’s book Catch Him & Keep Him is ubiquitous on the Internet, the subject of countless Google ads and blog reviews. And women everywhere read it and rave about it.

If you’re a guy, you’ve probably still heard of Christian Carter. If not, think of how killer it is to be on the David DeAngelo “Interviews With Dating Gurus” series if you’re a guy and you get the idea.

Essentially, were we standup comedians (which we’re not, at least officially), this would be like getting on the Letterman show. Nice.

So you can imagine how stoked Emily was to be contacted by Christian and invited to be on his program.

Better yet, the preliminary phone interview apparently went well enough that she was booted to the head of the line–meaning she is on this month.

So never mind the fact that papa has been burnin’ the midnight oil getting Emily’s new Attraction Makeover program ready to go in time for the release of the Christian Carter CD in a couple of weeks.

The important thing is that if you are a woman, and you have been kickin’ around the idea of snagging a copy of Catch Him & Keep Him for yourself, then now is the time.

Christian hands out the first month of his interview series for FREE when you get the book, which can only mean–yeppers–you get a shiny new copy of Emily’s interview CD for the asking if you jump on board this month.

Now, here’s something interesting about this whole thing. Christian actually flew Emily and I out to LA a couple of weeks ago to record this interview live. Having been there, I can tell you a couple of things.

For starters, Emily threw down some serious game and the interview itself is killer. It’s chock-full of original content, too. But you’d expect that from her.

What’s more, though, I have to tell you that Christian Carter and his team are a class act through and through. Christian knows his stuff for real, and my guess is that he’s got more “game” than 90% of the PUA gurus teaching the guys out there.

Basically, he gets it when it comes to women.

So giving yourself the gift of Catch Him & Keep Him this holiday season is basically a win/win situation for you if 1) you are a woman and 2) you are ready to meet the man of your dreams.

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. If you have been on Emily’s monthly Keys To Bliss series and miss it, I’ve got good news. It’s coming back…this month. And this time it’s bigger, better, faster and more more MORE. Stay tuned…

X & Y On The Fly #40–When Kids Are In The Picture

This episode represents a bit of a change of pace for Emily and I. This time we talk about all the potential issues associated with dating when you have kids.

…Or when the person you are dating has kids.

…Or when you and the other person have kids together.

Basically, this show contains both dating and relationship advice, and will be helpful to those of you who are already married and leading the “family life” as well as those of you who are enjoying your wildly successful dating lives.

Wait a minute…who says married people can’t have a “wildly successful dating life”? Well, not us. And fear not…there’s more on that in there also.

So getchasum. This is a good one, based on feedback we’ve been getting. We’ve actually had the show posted for a couple of weeks now, but I’ve just gotten around to blogging about it.

As always, hit our main page to get in on the newsletter and grab your free copy of How To Deal With Breakups. I’ll be changing that soon, so consider this the “final call”.

By the way, the next XYotF is going to be called “Movie Moments”. Look forward to some creativity there, for sure. Emily’s ready for this one.

And yes…the next episode of The Chick Whisperer is in the works also. It will be called “The Dude Whisperer”, and I’ll leave the rest to you to figure out for now…

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. Please leave us a review on iTunes…and by all means subscribe. Even one more good review helps our rankings more than you know.

If you aren’t so into iTunes, you can also subscribe using our feed.

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Stop Sucking It In

Hey guys, today I want you to think to yourself if have you at any point recently looked into the mirror and sucked your stomach in?

Don’t worry guys, I’ve done it. I think we all have, trying to make ourselves look better–if only for that moment.

However, there is a problem with this. We are essentially fooling ourselves into believing we are in better shape than we truly are. I’ve found that if I have been doing lots of fitness work, eating right, watching less TV etc., then I will still suck my gut in front on the mirror, and it makes me feel good.

“Wow, I’m looking good at the moment.”

Continue reading “Stop Sucking It In”

Alcohol-Free Authenticity — Improve Your Success With Women When Sober

When you are out on the town having a good time with your friends and talking to girls, it may be so tempting to have a few drinks. Perhaps, drinking allows you to relax, get you out of your head, makes you more impulsive and talkative, and helps you to be your natural attractive self with girls around you. As one of my friends said, “When you have a few drinks, it guarantees you a fun night out…”

The reason why drinking may help your game is that alcohol allows you to temporarily reduce your inhibitions and express your natural masculine desires. It also helps you to switch off the “script” (i.e. social conditioning, limiting beliefs and fears). And then your natural self springs into action and seizes the night. But…

Problems start when you have a few too many and relaxed and comfortable becomes sloppy and messy. Your mind may lose its sharpness and you may start failing the tests from women or be unable to plan how to close the deal…let alone that drinking may seriously affect your erectile function and the amount of cash in your pocket, including all the money you spend on taxis!

Continue reading “Alcohol-Free Authenticity — Improve Your Success With Women When Sober”

The Power of Being Observant In Pickup

Ok guys, around here it is mentioned a lot how a man can almost have what appears to be superpowers with a woman. Being observant is yet another one of those powers.

I find it to be the most important aspect in my dating game, especially lately. It takes experience, it takes ups and downs but then you will notice it starts to make a huge difference. It is about being observant in multiple different situations. Whether you are just about to try to pick her up, meeting someone for a date for the first time, an icebreaker on the fly, AMOG’ing another guy out, escalating kino, conflict resolution, etc. and etc., observation is a strong tool.

The key to a lot of it is being able to, in a sense, slow things down. A key part of this is body language. I mentioned in my article “From Russia with Love” about body language–Bond always has calm under fire. I do not walk into a bar, going, “OK…time to find my targets, and then point 5.6 to neg 3 minus, calibrate my energy and inoculate the number, target 6 will get canned line 7….”.

Yes I have a game plan, yes I have a structure…but it is simple. It is natural to me, I am not a robot about it. I see my whole game lately having a core of being observant in any situation.

I will give some key examples below how being observant will put you in the power of choosing, and putting things in slow motion. Remember gentlemen, it takes a lot of experience, mistakes, ups and downs, but with each situation you are fine tuning yourself.

Continue reading “The Power of Being Observant In Pickup”

MeetUp.com As A Dating Site?

We get quite a number of e-mails from both men and women asking where in the world they can meet MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex).

Some don’t exactly live in thriving metropolises. Most don’t feel comfortable approaching strangers in public, as much as we’d love to wave a magic wand and cure everyone’s “approach anxiety” in one fell swoop.

And it’s not like their workplace is a “magic wonderland” of dating possibilities either. Office politics, potential awkwardness later, or even direct company policy give pause to many of us insofar as “dipping one’s pen in the company ink” is concerned.

How about getting “set up” with friends of friends? Erratic at best, if not potentially disastrous.

Sure, online dating rocks. But only if you’ve taken the time to master it (which you can get started on here or here).

And if you don’t want to take the time to master online dating but insist on trying it anyway, you could go the eHarmony route. Not.

So how does one defeat the frustration of not having enough MOTOS around once and for all?

Enter MeetUp.com.

Seriously, I don’t want to ever hear any kvetching about “not knowing where to meet MOTOS” every again. Ever.

Basically, if you’ve been hiding under a rock and don’t know about MeetUp.com, it’s essentially a website designed to help people meet together offline, generally based around a common interest that all members of a particular “meetup group” share.

So you basically enter your metro area, type in a few key words and voila (or viola, as someone I know always writes).

Now, here it is. This is great for meeting a bunch of guys to go sportbike riding with or to watch some out-of-town sports team with.

But the true “killer app” is finding more “co-ed” common interests where you’re likely to meet MOTOS. The site is like a “secret weapon” for that.

According to Ken from New Jersey, who is on my mailing list and wrote me telling me his own MeetUp.com success story, the best part is that not only can you meet women, you can expect to see them again at future “meetups” so there is no pressure to “attract and close” as soon as you are introduced to them. Sweet.

Emily is actually way ahead of me as far as MeetUp.com is concerned. While I’m well aware that she has recently started a group for Mom’s with pre-school aged litluns on there (with great success), she had already long since written the concept I’m sharing with you today into her latest program for women. We’ll be telling you more about that one soon, by the way.

So there’s yet another solid reason to consider MeetUp.com as part of your strategy for meeting MOTOS: Both men and women are all over this, at least potentially.

How about it? Could you give this a try? Had my head been screwed on straight a few years ago, I would have been all over meeting some women who were into karaoke, cooking, travel or mountain biking.

And no doubt, if you don’t find the group you’re looking for, you can drop a measly $75 and start the group yourself, and even recoup it through $5 or $10 “annual dues” if you must. Being the Grand Pooh-bah of your group represents instant social-proof, as I see it.

So give it a shot and let me know how it goes. Got any MeetUp.com success stories already? Share them below–I’d love to hear.

Be Good,

Scot

The Chick Whisperer BONUS–Stop Giving Your Power Away

About a year ago I recorded a very special episode of The Chick Whisperer with none other than Brent from Absolute Power Dating and David DeAngelo “Advanced Mastery Series” fame.

At the time it was produced, was offered as a special promotion rather than added to the regular feed.

Well, now that some water has passed under the proverbial bridge, I wanted to make sure that this show didn’t become a “lost episode”. So I’ve just made it available to everyone.

In it, Brent and I break down some key ways to maintain a leadership position with women and how not to become her “yes man”. In fact, you could also call this particular podcast “Just Say NO To Being A YES Man”. Nice.

Anyway, those of you out there who have been listening to the show for under a year probably never even knew this existed…so fire up. It’s epic as always, so enjoy.

iTunes is the way to go if you can, and you can get there by using any of the graphics on this post. If you do, we greatly appreciate positive reviews. I’ve figured out these actually help iTunes rankings, so it’s a great way to support the show.

If you’re not on iTunes, you can subscribe via the feed here.

Be Good,

Scot

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Junior Is A Flirt

I've got to teach this kid to put a shirt on in his online pics. And to wash his face while he's at it. Keep your infant daughters away from my kid. Actually, check that. Keep your pre-teen daughters away from him.

Seriously, Scot, Jr. (aka “Micky Mac”) is a serious flirt. Already. At the ripe old age of eleven months.

And yes…he’s diggin’ on “older women”.

We knew pretty quickly that he had a thing for g-i-r-l-s, but lately it has been taken to the next level. Sure, the little infant chickies in their little pink bows and Power Puff Grrrl diapers are “hot babes” to him, but he really has this thing for little girls about middle-school age. I mean, he just lights up when he sees them.

The whole thing is fascinating to watch actually, if I may say so myself.

For starters, you can forget about “approach anxiety”. When the kid “isolates his target” he practically jumps out of my arms trying to “kino” her. Once loose, he’s a master of the “three second rule”. He can’t crawl fast enough in her direction.

And of course, this usually elicits the desired, “Awww….how cute!” reaction, including occasional hugs, tickles and kisses. Nice.

And Micky-Mac is, well, “mackin'” the whole time.

But here’s where it gets weird.

Usually, when he sees a g-i-r-l he likes, his first thought when trying to get her attention is to growl like a little bear, complete with the arms in the air. “Grrr…AHHH!”

What’s up with that?

Well, putting two and two together, that’s the sort of thing I do when I play around with him. Me, his Dad. Mom doesn’t do that sort of thing.

So, basically, he gets that I’m a “boy” like he is, he knows that “g-i-r-l-s” are different and interesting, and somehow his instincts (or something) kick in and tell him to act like a boy toward these “different and interesting” human beings he sees.

Knowing that he’s like me, his Dad, he picks up on the “boy” behaviors I teach him and applies them “naturally” to MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex).

In other words, he’s a flirt. And an effective one. And he’s not even a year old yet.

So let’s break this down.

First of all, it’s not like my kid is some sort of lady-killing prodigy or something.

In fact, if you look around, you’ll see that lots of kids, boy or g-i-r-l, exhibit the same sort of behavior at a very early age. I mean, who hasn’t seen a little toddler-sized girl batting her eyelashes at some b-o-y in the booth next door at Denny’s while slung over her mama’s shoulder?

The truth is that this goes on because we are HARD-WIRED to know the differences between genders from a very, very early age. And even MORE interestingly, it would appear that we’re basically born knowing how to interact with MOTOS and even generate attraction….all without any fear of “rejection”, natch.

I mean, “rejection”? What infant with parents who care has had any opportunity to get jaded by THAT yet?

And therein lies the irony.

It’s somewhere along the line later that the majority of us somehow lose our moxie and perhaps even our natural-born ability to be attractive to MOTOS…let alone flirt with them.

Not being a child psychologist, or any other kind of one either, I don’t have all the answers as to how or why all of this is what it is.

And granted, you can bet my kid has no idea what to actually do with these g-i-r-l-s once he actually “meets” them. Relationship management comes later, I suppose.

But I do know that if my eleven-month-old kid can “approach women” without fear and “create attraction”, then people older than he is should remain able to do so also.

Be Good,

Scot

Universal Conversation Skills: Talk To Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

X & Y Communications Coach Austin Parker For the longest time I was frustrated. I wanted people to take an interest in me. After all I thought I was interesting. I had just returned to the states after two years living abroad. I thought I was a master conversationalist with the most interesting topic in the world: Me.

Little did I know I was ignoring the needs of everyone I met. It turns out they didn’t want to talk about me. They wanted to talk about themselves.

Then I learned the trick to connecting with people is to take an interest in them. There are specific ways to do this and today I will share them with you. Without further ado, I present:

Universal Conversational Skills (i.e. the ones that work with anyone, anywhere)

1) Ask open ended questions

An open ended question is something you can’t answer with just a yes or a no. If you ask someone, “Do you like this place?” you are inviting a yes or no answer. Unfortunately this doesn’t give much to go on. “What do you like about this place?” is a better one. When I ask a leading question I always try to emphasize the positive. It works.

Continue reading “Universal Conversation Skills: Talk To Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere”

Let’s Hook Up And I’ll Do You

I started surfing back in the 80’s. Part of what went along with that, for better or worse, was using a certain lingo unique to surfers (or allegedly so). Some called it “dudespeak”.

A key example of this was when you’d meet some other dude who surfed, you’d say, “Yeah, man. Bring your stick and we’ll hook up…definitely.”

Of course, the intention there was to meet and go surfing.

Over time though, “hooking up” started to be a term that some people only used when referring to MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex). All of the sudden, dudes weren’t “hooking up” any more to go surfing.

“Hooking up” was reserved for chicks.

Though nowadays you’ll still encounter the occasional clueless attempt at invoking the “colloquial” usage of “hooking up”, it pretty much always raises eyebrows when it comes up in that context.

After all, “hooking up” has long-since been hijacked by sexual innuendo.

But this phenomenon is certainly not limited to “hooking up” by any stretch.

Essentially, everywhere you look our language has been affected as such, hasn’t it?

Basically, you really can’t “drill”, “pound”, “bang”, or especially “ram” anything anymore these days, let alone “give it to me”, without eliciting a chortle from anyone within earshot.

As far as “poking” people on Facebook goes, who knows what they were thinking over there? I mean…don’t they know what they’re implying?

Well, at least when someone friends me on Facebook, the “personal message” can still say, “Hey, I came across your profile” without being misinterpreted…or can it?

And to be sure, the whole concept of the Flintstones having a “gay old time” these days evokes some disturbing images.

But the one that really causes me to wonder what kind of monster we’ve created for ourselves with all of this is how the word “do” has been reduced to bedroom humor. These days, it’s pretty much universally synonymous with “have sexual relations”, of course.

I mean, this is one of the most essential verbs in the English language. Little kids in ESL are taught “do” on day one, right along with “be” and “make”.

Well, then again, Mick Jagger was “making” some girl way back in 1964. So perhaps this is just natural progression. No basic tenet of our language is immune. Just ask anyone who’s ever BEEN WITH you before.

So “do” was actually late to the party, I suppose (whatever “party” means nowadays).

As recently as the mid-’80s, the verb to “do” was tough-guy talk for “put a bullet in his head”. Go watch some action/adventure flicks from back then and have a good laugh when the uber-badguy coldly hisses, “do him” in response to some henchman asking what to do with the innocent hostage.

And that was a ridiculous enough twist on the language in its own right.

So, apparently we have Bell Biv Devoe and/or Aerosmith to thank for flipping the switch from “do me” meaning “kill me” to “have sex with me”.

On second thought, considering some of the women I’ve dated in my darkest past, what’s the difference?

But I digress.

Very recently, I showed up somewhere that required I make an appointment. I forget whether it was to get my car “serviced” (*ahem*) or the dentist’s office or what. But the leather-faced senior lady with the “smoker’s voice” smiled at me and announced, “We can do you tomorrow morning, hun. How’s that?”

Or not. Sheesh.

I guess I’ve been brainwashed like the rest of us. Chalk it up to the game.

Be Good,

Scot

A Powerful Way To Lead A Woman

What I’m going to share with you today is the kind of the elusive obvious that can totally make or break your interaction with the woman. If you frequently finish in the “just friends” zone with the woman or you are sometimes unable to transition your conversation with the girl from the “intelligent and witty” into the “naughty and intense” then this may be just that missing piece of the puzzle for you.

You know that women are emotional creatures. And they like to be led forward in your interaction with them. As one of my friends rightly said: “Women want you to lead them into the places they don’t yet realise they want to go.” So how do you lead a woman towards experiencing some powerful emotions about you, such as attraction, comfort, trust, and excitement? That’s right, you should lead her with your own emotions!

Continue reading “A Powerful Way To Lead A Woman”

You Introverts Think You’ve Got It Tough?

Hey brothers, first of all, apologies for neglecting my contributions to this wealth of knowledge. I have been busy trying to acquire my first property and moving out. Thanks for your responses to my previous blog on cold approaches (and why they are so last century).

I have not always been an extrovert. In fact, in school I was one of the shyest kids out there. I was always content to observe the token hot chicks at school from afar and hang out with my so-called friends who I really had no interest in connecting with.

Tony Robbins says that you can do anything if you have a strong enough “why”. So, when I got to university, I intensified the pain I was feeling and used it to motivate myself to approach relentlessly. I would take up empty seats next to people and introduce myself. I quickly became known as that “fun, social guy from my psych class” and the title became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Within a few months I was hanging out with people whose company I actually enjoyed.

Before I knew it, I was taking good company for granted and the five years of my degree had flown by. I took up a job in the city and started getting out into the real world. I started spending more late nights in the city. A consequence of this was that it took about an hour to get home.

Continue reading “You Introverts Think You’ve Got It Tough?”

When It’s Time To Break Up

Breakups, ending the relationship, moving on–the wild emotional roller coaster ride that follows or ensues during. It can be one of the toughest emotional deals to go through, or at least that is the thought of many while enduring it. I will discuss a few things in the following article of when it is time to break up, and how to move on. My experience in this area mainly deals with the male perspective, yet I am sure both genders can pick up something from this. I will give two scenarios that I am familiar with.

Scenario One Are you now in a relationship where you are constantly questioning whether or not you are happy? At night maybe you are dreaming of that blonde you saw in the park, or reminiscing about your old sweetheart from say college.

Chances are it is time to move on. Idealism and the “Hallmark Fantasy” are what may be blinding you here. By “Hallmark Fantasy” I mean you met this person, and it was great at first, but now it has lost its pizazz.

Hanging on like this is settling. It is also very dangerous. The other party may know the relationship has lost its spark. You have long discussions almost on the verge of heartbreak, yet heartstrings are pulled by the other and no break up happens. The other party agrees to make things better, to try the other’s activities.

Then for maybe a few weeks, you say everything is better, then it goes back into that old rut. The cycle begins again. The discussions, the emotions go up and down.

If you find yourself in this scenario, it is time to move on. The other party is not suited for you. They may be a great person, however they are not great for you.

Men usually hate to lose, and women know how to pull an emotional strings. Men see that happening and do not want to end it. So they keep trying. Stop the torture to yourself and move on. It will be difficult, but you should never settle…and your truly amazing person might be right around the corner.

Continue reading “When It’s Time To Break Up”

Paul Newman Was A “Big Four” Guy

I just got home from a busy Saturday to find out that Paul Newman passed away. He was 83, and he had lived a full life.

Let me be clear, though. He didn’t necessarily live a full live because he lived to be 83. Rather, he lived life to the fullest for 83 years.

Besides being an A-list actor, Paul Newman raced cars and even owned racing teams. When he wasn’t doing that, he came up with bottles of salad dressing and spaghetti sauce, giving 100% of the profits to charity…to the tune of a quarter-billion dollars. After all, his life was abundant and greed didn’t become him. He was too busy out doing other stuff.

His first marriage didn’t work out so well, and he made his share of mistakes in his youth. But he learned from them. His second marriage to actress Joanne Woodward is one of the few “Hollywood” relationships to stand the test of time–fifty years.

He raised five daughters and lost his only son to an untimely death. What…you didn’t know that last part? That’s because he didn’t remind you all the time. His pain was private, not public.

Women loved this guy, even as he aged into his fifties, sixties and beyond. He was noted for good looks, but there was more to it. He was a “big four” guy.

If you have never seen “Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid” or (especially) “Cool Hand Luke”, go rent them. Do yourself a favor and watch very closely.

He just had a way of portraying confident, charismatic masculinity in everything he did…on and off screen. What’s more, he was one of those actors who could make you love the “bad guy” and want him to win. How is that accomplished? Well, in part, it’s done by diffusing the evil and/or the danger associated with the persona. In other words, he made you…and women, of course…feel safe with him.

By the way, keep in mind he was already over forty when those movies were produced.

Of the countless tributes to Paul Newman already proliferating on the Web, one on particular caught my eye and drew me in. In it, the author flatly stated, “I always wanted to be Paul Newman”.

And no doubt, on screen and in real life, living Paul Newman’s life sounded like a solid plan. You were pretty sure he’d be the kind of guy you could have a beer with. And you’d be ready to soak up whatever you could about how to be better with women from him, also.

After all, this was a man who could have had any (and perhaps every) woman on Earth. Yet, he chose fifty years with the greatest woman he ever met from practically infinite options.

He truly was The Leading Man.

When you watch a Newman movie, you leave feeling as if you could do a bit better in the “cool” department. It’s as if you’ve taken mental notes, and walk away ready to make it so in your life.

But that’s what truly cool guys do. They make everyone else around them feel a little cooler when they’re around. The guy who only thinks he’s cool, and would rather belittle others in a weak attempt to increase his “status”? Nobody wants to be that guy. Not really.

If you look closely at the artwork for The Engineer’s Guide To Being Cooler Than The Salesguy, you’ll see Paul Newman on the cover montage. There’s good reason for that. He belonged there. In fact, he was one of the first guys I thought of when researching that program.

Godspeed, Paul Newman. Hopefully they have Porsche 911s in Heaven that finally have perfect handling.

Be Good,

Scot

New Facebook Group: Get More Free Stuff

So are you getting sick of me sending you free stuff yet?

Didn’t think so.

So with that in mind, Emily and I have created a Facebook group. The name? “Free Stuff From X & Y Communications”.

Pretty self-explanatory, huh?

If you’re on Facebook, definitely get on board so we can hook you up. Men and women can join. In fact, this could turn out to be the oft-requested way for some of the great men and great women we’ve got as readers and listeners to meet each other. Go figure.

But the main thing here is that we’re going to be sending you special reports, e-books, audios and other more “out of the box” stuff…all specifically designed to help you go from good to great with MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex).

Some of it will be for men only. Some of it will be for the ladies. The rest of it will be for everyone. But it will all be F-R-E-E.

So here’s the link. Feel free to pass it around to your other facebook friends, btw…

http://groups.to/freestuff

See you there…

Be Good,

Scot

Get The Deserve What You Want Toolbar!

I’m sure some of y’all have the Google toolbar, or maybe the Alexa toolbar on your browsers. They’re a great way to get what you want from the Web as quickly and easily as possible…without having to open another browser window and do a bunch of typing to get there…

Well, check it out. I’ve found a way to get a whole dogpile of dating and seduction resources in one place, using the same design. Enter the X & Y Communications Toolbar.

First of all, before you even ask, let me tell you it’s FREE. This is something I’m giving away, just because I think it’s cool and you’ll like it.

And just for good measure, I’ve come up with both men’s and women’s versions of it. If you are a guy, here’s what your version looks like:

And yes…you can simply click on the graphic above to download it.

Installation is painless, and it doesn’t matter whether you are using IE or Firefox. Pretty cool.

When you get it on your browser, you’ll find a bunch of cool gadgets you can start using to pass the time when you’re bored at work. You’ll also have ways to get to iTunes, YouTube and other popular Web destinations with one click. I’ve also collected up links to every one of my friends in the dating/seduction world I can think of. The thing will even tell you when you have e-mail, block popups and let you know what the weather is like outside.

And, of course, I made sure you can get all the newest articles and podcasts with the click of a mouse. Some of you have complained that all our free stuff around here needs to be in one place…well, here you go. Your wish is my command.

I’m working on getting it to give you tantric massage while vacuuming the carpets, but we’re still at the drawing board on that. Give me some time…

And for you ladies out there, here’s what yours looks like:

The Click With Him Toolbar features all the kinds of stuff that you’ll like. Emily even made the graphics hearts, roses, and stuff. Whatever floats y’all’s boat, I suppose. LOL

Whether you get the men’s or women’s version, there’s a whole bunch of functionality I’ve built into these that I don’t have room to go on and on about. You’ll just have to download and see for yourself.

And by the way, yes…these are perfectly safe to download and use. I’m so sure I’d run spyware on you after working so hard to build everything we’ve got going on here at X & Y Communications, right? Not a chance.

OK, well have fun with these. And I’ll be tweaking them to maximize their functionality over the next few days and weeks, just because I’m a geek for all this stuff.

Be Good,

Scot