Motivation Turbo-Charger Part 1: Getting Going

Posted on December 7, 2008
Filed Under Dr. Sasha, Inner Game, Men Attracting Women |

I want to make a confession. I have been putting off writing this article for about a week. I know that I have lots to write about, and yet I didn’t write this article until this very moment. I even made up all those “other” things to do around my office to avoid writing this.

And then it suddenly struck me: This is exactly how most guys put their love life on hold.

Some immerse themselves in work, some play computer games or watch porn on the Internet, and some collect any and all kinds of knowledge about picking up and seducing women, with little practical application.

Other guys actually get a lot of action going for a while, but then their motivation starts to subside.

Can you relate to any of these situations? If you can, then carry on reading. (And if you can’t relate, then you’re probably already very successful with women!)

So, what is going on here? If you postpone success with your love life, if your motivation to take action is often low, does this mean you don’t know what to do?

I don’t think so. It’s just that sometimes, when results cannot be seen immediately, when there are no “silver bullets” and the only way to success is through sustained action. Your motivation may drop, even though you know what to do and have all the right theoretical knowledge about the subject.

So, today I’d like to share some of the ways you can supercharge your motivation to stop postponing your success and get what you want much more quickly.

Overcoming inertia in your love life

You see, people like what’s familiar to them because it gives them a feeling of safety. I guess having a lot of female attention may be not a very familiar feeling for you. That’s why unconsciously you may want to keep the status quo and stay away from action. There are a few ways you can overcome this.

Method 1. Starting small

Starting small means taking regular small steps to help you gradually build new habits. The point is for these habits to become a natural part of your lifestyle.

For example, you may decide to talk to a new woman each day, or to engage in conversation with a checkout person every time you go to the supermarket. Another example may be spending half an hour per day learning more about meeting women and then half an hour practicing what you’ve learned. These little steps should be designed so that they don’t push your comfort zone too much. The point is just to get you going.

Method 2. Starting big

Starting big is the opposite of starting small, of course. Instead of taking small steps, you push yourself to dive right into the deep end. For example, why not take a training course to develop the skills that can help you achieve success with women?

This course might be a coaching program like Ten-Plus, or a salsa dancing holiday, or an online study course for men that involves a regular exercise program.

You might decide to spend a full weekend just socializing, or book a holiday for that same purpose. This will definitely allow you to jump start your motivation.

Method 3. Time boxes

Another good way to move yourself into action is to set fixed times when you’ll be doing something specific towards getting the love life you want. For example, you can set aside 45 minutes during every lunch break and get yourself into a social setting (a coffee shop, street, music store) where you can meet plenty of new women.

Or you can commit to spending two hours, twice a week, socializing in bars. Basically, here you just commit to socialize with people for a specific amount of time. Obviously, your individual situation may be different and you may want to spend those regular “time boxes” on other activities, such as online dating or working out in the gym, or meditating on visualizing your successful love life.

Method 4. Accountability

Being accountable for your actions is a great way to boost motivation. If you know that someone is going to ask about the action you promised to take, you’ll be much more likely to complete that act, especially if there is a certain consequence involved. For example, you can promise your friend to talk to ten new women per week. If you don’t keep your word, you’ll have to pay him a significant amount of money for each woman you didn’t talk to.

You can also keep yourself accountable by making what I call a “fridge chart”; i.e., preparing a table with empty boxes for your daily / weekly actions and then ticking off those boxes as you do each act. In this case, you can also award yourself with prizes for keeping on track. That means, for example, buying yourself a present or indulging yourself in an activity you enjoy.

Finally, another great way to create accountability is by hiring a coach as alluded to above. The coach would become your accountability partner and be there for you when you most need it.

Recap

Today we’ve talked about different ways to overcome inertia and motivate yourself towards getting the love life of your dreams. You can do this either by starting small – i.e., by taking small but regular action; by starting big – i.e., immersing yourself into a huge amount of ongoing action; by setting time boxes – i.e., committing to spend a specific amount of time every day / week working on your love life; and finally by creating an accountability for your actions – i.e., making sure that someone keep you accountable for your promises. Now is time to start implementing these methods. Pick a couple of strategies that suit you most and get down to action!

Next time, we’re going to talk about other great ways to boost your motivation, such as planning your success and increasing its probability. So watch this space!

Your friend,

–Dr. Sasha

drsasha@deservewhatyouwant.com

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• Scot McKay is a professional dating coach and founder of X & Y Communications.

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