Who Else Is Ready To Message Mariah Carey On Match.com?

 
Celebrities Are Turning Up On Online Dating Sites More OftenThis past week Mariah Carey signed up for Match.com and posted a profile.

In case you think I’m kidding, log in and run a username search for “MC1toInfinity”. There she is…at least as of June 7th, 2015 when I’m writing this.

It’s all legit, by the way. Mariah talked about it herself and major media is carrying the story.

Now, not being the type of guy who gets star struck, you’re probably wondering why I care about this.

It’s because she said she can cook. Nah, I’m just kidding.

Mostly, it’s significant because it throws a big old sloppy wrench in the works. Any stigma associated with online dating, were it still a factor anywhere, has now officially been banished into the wilderness forever.

I mean, if a globally known pop star who has always “been considered attractive by her friends” is online, there aren’t many Mulligans to be handed out when it comes to the “I’m too good for that”, “that’s for people who can’t meet anyone in the ‘real world'” or “I’m not desperate enough for that” excuses.

As it turns out, this sort of thing isn’t a fluke, either. The likes of Halle Berry and Lindsey Lohan, among other Hollywood types, have confirmed personally that they’ve done the online dating thing.

Regardless of your personal opinion on any of the aforementioned women, we all have to agree that they’re probably not short on male attention.

I’ll spare you the list of other famous and arguably attractive people—male and female—who’ve turned up on Match, eHarmony and even Tinder (!) because you can Google the list yourself.

But even among guys I’ve worked with, the women they’ve met online include cheerleaders for pro teams (at least four of those), a former contestant on The Bachelor and even an Olympic gymnast.

So with that rant out of the way, what’s up with Mariah?

 
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Continue reading “Who Else Is Ready To Message Mariah Carey On Match.com?”

7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love

 
Get Your Game OnI’m not sure what it is lately, but I’ve been getting more than my fair share of e-mails from guys saying something to the effect of this:

“But Scot, I’m incredibly useless/boring/average and there’s nothing about me that a woman would be attracted to, especially compared to other guys out there.”

My knee-jerk reaction is to encourage men who think that way to stop comparing themselves to others and take control over their circumstances instead. Thankfully, we can DO SOMETHING to change the way things are if we just don’t feel like we’ve got a whole lot to offer a woman. That’s what deserving what you want is all about.

But I have to be honest with you. My knee-jerk reaction has to yield to a gut-level hunch in this case. That’s this: I’d be willing to bet that you ALREADY HAVE some pretty badass skills in your toolbox. The problem is that you simply aren’t leveraging them.

Here are seven examples of common skills that thrill women to no end. You may already possess some of these, but the reason I’ve selected them in particular is because they can be acquired with a modicum of effort:

Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

Continue reading “7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love”

That New Bud Light Commercial Where They’re On A First Date

 
If you’ve been watching the NCAA tournament at all this year, you’ve probably already seen this commercial about three dozen times:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMExuin6U-c

Considering that it centers around a first date between two people who’ve met online, I figured it would be fun to talk about it some…especially since I haven’t broken down any TV commercials around here lately.

So let’s get into it.

Continue reading “That New Bud Light Commercial Where They’re On A First Date”

Online Dating Vs. Dating Online

Get Off The Phone And Meet The Woman In PersonDuring the conversation Zan Perrion and I had for The Master Plan one of the most fascinating themes we discussed was how we as a modern culture are becoming more and more disconnected from each other.

One’s first thought when considering that idea is, “Hey, wait a minute. Everyone’s got an Internet connection and a cell phone these days. If anything, we’re more connected.”

But that’s precisely the issue. With the ability to get online for “typing and Skyping” on the fly, and the advent of text messaging we can communicate easier than ever. Granted.

But do we really connect?

Zan and I were in 100% agreement that we do not. Despite all the technology allowing us to communicate, people are actually gathering less often in real life. In the framework of our “wired” lifestyle we actually tend to meet fewer people in real life than we used to, and less often.

And perhaps most alarmingly, it would appear we like it that way.

One key example we covered was how people are actually dating online instead of online dating.

What am I talking about here?

 

 

 

Continue reading “Online Dating Vs. Dating Online”

Sharpen Your Online Dating Skills Using Twitter [Video Blog]

Let’s face it, guys really know how to mess up their chances with women online.

As a matter of fact, it usually starts with the very first email a guy sends to a woman he’s interested in. And once he’s blown his chances there, it’s nearly impossible to recover.

Well, short of cutting and pasting something that has “proven” to work–for someone else–what’s a guy supposed to do to get past that hurdle?

And ladies, what if you actually get an e-mail from a guy you actually do want to respond to? How do you send the picture-perfect reply without messing up a potentially good thing? After all, how many lame-o messages did you have to sift through to get to that ONE really interesting one?

If you’ve ever wondered about this sort of stuff, I’ve got one word for you: Twitter.

Can you close your eyes and imagine a world where the right words flow naturally from your fingers to the keyboard and glowing, enthusiastic responses from exactly the type of person you want to meet are more the norm than the exception?

It all may not be as far away as you think. If you’ve got ten minutes, I’ve got a solution. Watch this, y’all:

 

 

OK, I know you have comments. Will you give what’s in the video a fair shot? Or do you think I got a hold of a hookah full of bad shisha? Either way, talk to me. And let me know what topics you’d like me to hit in future videos, would you?

If you did in fact dig this video, then please Digg this video using the funny looking string of icons below this post.

Also, if you re-tweet this URL I’ll be a happy man. Use the “Tweet This” button below if you prefer. I’ve got nothing but mad love for re-tweeters.

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

 

 








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How To Get 1000 Twitter Followers In 12 Days [Video Blog]

OK, today I’ve got something that’s clearly a change of pace.

As you know, I’ve been harping on Twitter constantly lately. But that’s for good reason. This is not only the hottest social networking site on Earth at the moment, it’s also arguably the most significant in terms of blasting your online dating success through the roof–directly and indirectly, as subscribers to the newsletter already know.

In the real world, there are as many reasons to get geeked over Twitter as there are people on Twitter.

In fact, many (if not most) of you reading probably are not regular visitors to this blog, and linked here through something Twitter related as opposed to dating related.

So on with it.

Here’s the thing. Since New Year’s Day I’ve gone from 1000 followers on Twitter to almost 2200 as we speak.

And I’m convinced you can do it too.

I know what you’re thinking. Either, 1) “Yeah, but you’ve got a gazillion people on your mailing list”, or… 2) “Prove it.”

Well, if you’re of the former category consider that it took just under a year to get to 500 around here, so something had to change to make the spike happen.

And if you’re of the latter category? Well then, you’re just going to have to watch this 21-minute video, where I spill all the details:

 

 

Something tells me I’d better brace myself for some comments on this. Go ahead and tell me what’s on your mind.

And before we wrap up, here are a few notes I’ve thought about since the movie was recorded:

1) Yes…you can “piggy back” the basic strategy, in turn leveraging the recent timelines of those you link to from your own.

2) Yes…instead of one big session per day you can run several different quick sessions during the course of a day, just as long as you can keep a handle on non-followers as described.

3) And…just in case it wasn’t implicit, I agree 1000% with what the “Twitter gurus” say: You’ve got to be interesting, helpful and engaging when you “tweet” or else everyone is going to get a clue and unfollow you despite your best laid plans. In other words, what I’ve presented in the vid is a good way to get followers, but keeping them is up to you.

Maybe we’ll do a video on that last point later.

But for now, go on Twitter and getchasum. And always remember, as the video says, if you’re just “collecting followers” you’re missing the point. Join in the conversation, follow people with interests you as yet know nothing about, expand your horizons and–most of all–make lots of new friends.

And if you are interested in Twitter as a dating site, what you’ve seen in this video takes the idea of gaining quick social proof to the ultimate level, huh?

By the way, if you liked this and thought it was helpful, please re-tweet by using the “Tweet This” button at the very bottom of this post. Greatly appreciated!

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

 

 








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Twiduction: How To Meet Women On Twitter [Free E-Book]

As you already know, we talk a lot about online dating around here. As a matter of fact, we sort of live and breathe it.

We’re also sort of into social networking. Just a little bit. You can find us on Facebook, MySpace, and–most recently–Twitter.

But here’s the million-dollar question: Why hasn’t anyone figured out how to leverage Twitter as an online dating site?

I mean, it’s like a no-brainer. No kidding.

Yeah, yeah. I realize the “ratio” is terrible. So is your “competition”, believe me.

And I also realize that the idea of getting social proof on there looks really intimidating. Well, it doesn’t have to be.

You may also be wondering how much you can get done in a bunch of 140-character pieces. Let’s just say your first e-mails to women on Match.com are probably too bloated anyway, and this is just what the doctor ordered.

So if the “doctor” ordered it, what’s the prescription? Well, you got the “fever” to meet hotties on Twitter, and the only cure is Twiduction: How To Meet Women On Twitter.

Fortunately, unlike a real “doctor” there’s no “copay”, and I don’t need your insurance card. Forget that. I feel about doctors much like Erin Brockovich feels about lawyers. Then again, ditto on the lawyers, too.

But the important thing here is that what I originally envisioned as a four part blog series ended up being A LOT more than that. The more I wrote, the more I realized there was more to say than I had expected.

Ultimately, it became a full-on e-book. 73 pages worth.

Pretty much, it’s a “comprehensive guide” instead of an “overview”. I couldn’t stop writing…the ideas just kept on flooding the circuits.

And I mean, sheesh…I launched thing on Twitter (where else?) two nights ago, and within 24 hours I had e-mails from at least three techie guys informing me of the minute details I’d missed.

So what did I do? I added them in, of course. This is the friggin’ “Second Edition” already, for cryin’ out loud.

So I hope the techies are happy. Basically, even if you have no idea what a Twitter is, you’re about to get the complete hook-up in this book–iincluding the full tutorial on the site. Seriously.

All that’s long for, “instead of some blog posts, you’re fixin’ to get immediate gratification”.

Yes, based on that last sentence you’ve probably just come to a valid conclusion, so allow me to confirm your suspicions: The book is F-R-E-E. All you do is click here, and getchasum.

You enter your e-mail address on that page and start getting my newsletter…but you should be doing that already. Then, once you hit the button that takes you to the next page it’s all blue-sky from there.

Twiduction: How To Meet Women On Twitter will be staring straight at you in all its PDF glory, ready to be downloaded securely to your desktop and devoured.

And once again, in case you missed it the first time, that “devouring” is to be done for F-R-E-E.

So have fun with this one, guys. And ladies, you’ll likely enjoy it too, despite its title.

Whatever you do, “follow” me on Twitter and I’ll “follow” you back automatically: http://www.twitter.com/scotmckay

You can even “follow” Emily while you’re at it. She also “auto-follows”: http://www.twitter.com/emilymckay

More soon.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

P.S. Ladies, be sure to click the banner below and watch Emily’s new video. I tweaked it a bit and made it even better.

 

 








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Online Dating Success…A Real-World 76% Response Rate?

OK, here it is. I get a lot of heat from certain people regarding the claim of being able to achieve a 60-80% response rate from Match.com. Apparently, some guys believe that’s a notion so preposterous as to be flat-out impossible.

Actually, some women even think it’s a bit over-the-top to expect that.

Well, let me take this opportunity to tell you I believe you can do it. Moreover, the solution is well within your grasp, courtesy of Online Dating Domination.

But hey, I can understand why some would be skeptical. After all, most guys quit online dating in frustration…never having gotten a single date from the experience to show for it.

And it’s not like that’s really their fault. After all, the way some of these dating sites are set up, it really looks like the deck is stacked against us guys from the very beginning…with the interface having been designed almost invariably to appeal to female clientele, who are always harder to get to sign up.

All in all, it’s hard to portray yourself as the man you truly are, and even harder to get the mission-critical first e-mails right.

Taking everything I just shared into consideration, I wanted to share an e-mail with you I just received from a guy who is seeing some amazing success online. Better yet, he’s getting the job done after only a month and a half.

I really love it when guys outperform my “preposterous” claims. It’s even better when they do so in record time, in a notoriously competitive metro area (San Francisco) and–get this–are meeting super hot women in the process. I deleted the screen names he provided here for obvious reasons, but I’ll tell you…this guy has very good taste.

Hey Scot,

Hope all’s well on your end as we cruise into the holidays. I have some comments and then some quick questions…

First of all, I have to say that although I’ve only been exploring it for a month now, I’m pleasantly surprised with online dating. Before giving it a go I wasn’t sure what to expect, with some people hailing it as a great weapon in one’s dating arsenal (yourself included), and others out there who complain about nobody replying and there being only fat chicks.

Thus far, I’ve seen those negatives to be totally bogus. I’m batting 17/21 (76%) for initial replies and about 11/22 (52%) that I’ve already met or appear to be heading in that direction with.

I’ve met three of these women so far this past weekend and they were all great women…very smart and looked much better than their profiles, two being undeniably beautiful, the other more of an intense “cute”.

The one I saw today was drop dead gorgeous in person and very fun and we laughed a lot, as I did with the other two as well.

The other two have already expressed interest in meeting up again, and I suspect the woman I met today will be similar. Thanks a lot for the cool ideas in your products that played a definite role in getting me thus far down the “path”.

—Michael

So there you have it. Stone-cold proof that you can get ridiculous online dating success…if you have the right plan.

And what’s up with the exact percentages? I’m grateful that you ran the numbers Michael, but I hope you aren’t taking a sliderule on dates. Considering he’s in SF, he can probably perform complex calculus equations on his iPhone anyway.

So major kudos to Michael. If you’ve got success stories, I want to hear ’em. If your success stories still have yet to be written, I strongly suggest you get your hands on Online Dating Domination and stop putting that success off any longer.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

P.S. Ladies, be sure to click the banner below and watch Emily’s new video. It’s a lot of fun.

 

 








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MeetUp.com As A Dating Site?

We get quite a number of e-mails from both men and women asking where in the world they can meet MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex).

Some don’t exactly live in thriving metropolises. Most don’t feel comfortable approaching strangers in public, as much as we’d love to wave a magic wand and cure everyone’s “approach anxiety” in one fell swoop.

And it’s not like their workplace is a “magic wonderland” of dating possibilities either. Office politics, potential awkwardness later, or even direct company policy give pause to many of us insofar as “dipping one’s pen in the company ink” is concerned.

How about getting “set up” with friends of friends? Erratic at best, if not potentially disastrous.

Sure, online dating rocks. But only if you’ve taken the time to master it (which you can get started on here or here).

And if you don’t want to take the time to master online dating but insist on trying it anyway, you could go the eHarmony route. Not.

So how does one defeat the frustration of not having enough MOTOS around once and for all?

Enter MeetUp.com.

Seriously, I don’t want to ever hear any kvetching about “not knowing where to meet MOTOS” every again. Ever.

Basically, if you’ve been hiding under a rock and don’t know about MeetUp.com, it’s essentially a website designed to help people meet together offline, generally based around a common interest that all members of a particular “meetup group” share.

So you basically enter your metro area, type in a few key words and voila (or viola, as someone I know always writes).

Now, here it is. This is great for meeting a bunch of guys to go sportbike riding with or to watch some out-of-town sports team with.

But the true “killer app” is finding more “co-ed” common interests where you’re likely to meet MOTOS. The site is like a “secret weapon” for that.

According to Ken from New Jersey, who is on my mailing list and wrote me telling me his own MeetUp.com success story, the best part is that not only can you meet women, you can expect to see them again at future “meetups” so there is no pressure to “attract and close” as soon as you are introduced to them. Sweet.

Emily is actually way ahead of me as far as MeetUp.com is concerned. While I’m well aware that she has recently started a group for Mom’s with pre-school aged litluns on there (with great success), she had already long since written the concept I’m sharing with you today into her latest program for women. We’ll be telling you more about that one soon, by the way.

So there’s yet another solid reason to consider MeetUp.com as part of your strategy for meeting MOTOS: Both men and women are all over this, at least potentially.

How about it? Could you give this a try? Had my head been screwed on straight a few years ago, I would have been all over meeting some women who were into karaoke, cooking, travel or mountain biking.

And no doubt, if you don’t find the group you’re looking for, you can drop a measly $75 and start the group yourself, and even recoup it through $5 or $10 “annual dues” if you must. Being the Grand Pooh-bah of your group represents instant social-proof, as I see it.

So give it a shot and let me know how it goes. Got any MeetUp.com success stories already? Share them below–I’d love to hear.

Be Good,

Scot

 

 








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Sexual Chocolate

You Know You Want Some, LadiesDespite its provocative title, this post actually has nothing to do with the classic Eddie Murphy reference from Coming To America.

Rather, there was a comment on the forum by Recce_God31 that I found so intriguing that I wanted to answer it here. The context is online dating secrets:

You want me to reveal MY SECRETS… well ok…. lol

I don’t recall the exact time I started using it but I had been noticing that many girls would mention it in their profiles so I just started using it verbatim.

What is this topic you ask? Its chocolate!! I can’t say I’ve ever met a girl that doesn’t enjoy eating chocolate. In my initial contact I will usually make a comment about her profile or ask a “serious” question. Then I try a have a funny segue into finding out if she is a fan of chocolate and what type is her favorite. I estimate that I get about an 70-80% response rate, I should start keeping a record of its performance.

Scot, why do you think this? Maybe Emily could shed some light on the subject. I would love to hear her opinion.

 
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My Best Online Dating Horror Stories

Whatever You Fill These With, Don't Talk About It On A DateYeah, yeah. It’s absolutely true that online dating worked out pretty well for me, ultimately.

But having given it some thought, I wanted to come clean with you about something.

It’s not like every single date was a blissful stream of perfection.

Sure, I met lots of great women and had a blast for several years…culminating in meeting Emily on Match.com.

But along the way, especially at the beginning, I certainly encountered my share of sometimes hilarious and sometimes downright nightmarish situations.

Here are the four most memorable ones

 
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A Pickup Line Is No Longer A Pickup Line If SHE Started It

Cheesy Pickup LineLately I’ve been coaching more guys on how to succeed at online dating than ever before, and time and again I encounter something that amazes me.

I think we could all agree that using cheesy pickup lines are decidedly not the best strategy when it comes to approaching women. In fact, they’ve kind of become a running joke.

But when our attention turns to the online dating world, something fascinating happens.

Most of what guys are being taught in terms of sending first emails to women seems oddly familiar.

Yeppers…you got it. “Cut and paste templates designed to promote banter and therefore create rapport” is really long for “pickup lines”.

 
Newly Expanded With MIND BLOWING 100% Original Concepts

 

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Online Dating: Loaded Down With Questions [Video]

OK, here’s yet another video blog for you, loaded down with online dating tips just for you.

And appropriately as such, this particular video considers what to do when someone you’ve just met starts loading you down with questions….

 

 

So tell me, I bet you can relate to this one, can’t you? Let’s hear your stories!

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. Tomorrow we’ll hear from new X & Y Communications coach Joseph Jensen for the first time. His style is a unique one, so get ready for something completely different for sure.

 








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Online Dating: More Than Just A Pretty Face? [Video]

I think we’ve all seen those online profiles where the woman automatically assumed that she was enough of a “hottie” that her pictures were all that was necessary. The rest of the profile is essentially blank as a sheet, with the possible exception of a stray line to the effect of, “Hey, you’ve seen the pics and u know u like…now holla at ur girl!”

Well, here’s the suitable response to all of this from the nation known worldwide as “Deservewhatyouwantland”…

 

 

Be honest with me.

Guys: Have you ever found a high-quality woman with the “whole package” from a profile like that?

Ladies: Have you ever met anyone other than the “sex-focused” type–“Mr. Nice Guy” included–having published a profile like that?

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. Yeah, I’ve gotten a haircut since. Thanks for asking, “taurusmoxie” dude on YouTube.

P.P.S. MASSIVE announcement coming next…stay tuned.

 








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How To Impress Your Vietnamese Date

Yesterday happened to be our first real “tax day” as X & Y Communications LLC, which was exacerbated by the fact that some myopic bonehead (namely me) decided that Power Sessions For Men programs should come out on the 15th of the month.

So with all of that now in the rear view mirror, I can’t think of a better time for a particularly lightweight blog post given all this talk about breakups lately.

Last night I got the kind of e-mail I particularly love to read: Someone else is succeeding at online dating more than ever before.

This time, a guy wrote me attaching the profile of a particularly attractive hottie who happens to be Vietnamese. And wow, she seems full of life, energy, compassion and feminine charm–a nearly perfect combination out of which to craft a woman’s personality, I’d say.

Her name is Thuy.

Having worked with Vietnamese kids back in the early years of my career as a life coach to teens, I suggested that my friend knock this woman’s sox off (presumably red, since they’re Bostonians) by telling her in his follow-up e-mail that it’s time to talk on the phone, especially since he bets he can pronounce her name correctly.

 
Never Have To Ask 'What Do I Do Next' Ever Again

 
Continue reading “How To Impress Your Vietnamese Date”

Online Dating: How Come My E-mails Aren’t Getting Answered? [Video]

Time for another video blog.

One of the most sobering facts that guys in particular face when getting started with online dating is that women simply do not flood their inboxes with e-mails like they may have hoped in their fantasies.

Further, even when taking the bull by the horns and proactively writing to women, the response rate can be disarmingly low.

Find out in this video how widespread this issue is, what “average” performance really looks like, and some of the reasons why e-mails don’t get answered.

Here’s a hint: Things aren’t always what they seem…

 

 

Next time we’ll tackle the fourth and final part of that series on breakups: How to end long-term relationships.

Be Good,

Scot

 
Get Your Online Profile Right And Your E-mails Responded To...Starting Today

 








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Online Dating: Match.com’s New “Match Your Friends” Feature [Video]

Hello All:

Last time you got my rant on eHarmony. Well, as you’re about to find out, as much of a “Match.com Apologist” I am, it’s time for “equal time”.

And for sure, Match isn’t completely off the hook by any stretch.

Here’s the latest evidence…

 

 

First it was “If you completely fail at online dating for six full months, we’ll give you more of the same.” Now we have this gem.

So what’s your take? Would you let your friends choose your dates?

Would you get “testimonials” from your friends (or exes?) and put them on your profile? That’s the other new feature of Match.com–which I conveniently forgot to mention in the video.

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. For your trouble in having to deal with their shenanigans (and mine), I think you deserve 15% off when you join Match.com. I can make that happen for you:

 
Match.com

 








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Online Dating: Kicked Off The Island [Video]

As promised, here we go with another round of video blogs.

In between installments on that series about breakups we’re on, how about some more online dating tips you can actually use in the real world?

Have fun with this one, because just about everyone can relate to it. If you’re even marginally involved with online dating–or especially if you’ve been frustrated thus far by it–I think it’s going to lift a load off your shoulders…big time.

 

 

A shout to the guys at Fly Racing, who gave me the shirt off their back…literally.

Back atcha next time with Part Two of our series on breakups. Don’t touch that dial…

Be Good,

Scot McKay

 

 








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