12 Wonders From The Past That Post-Modernity Has Stolen From Us

 
I was a high school kid in the early ‘80s when the term “digital” gained traction in the public headspace. I specifically remember the very moment I learned what the term meant relative to the analog nature of, well…everything in life up to that point.

As naïve as I may have been, I wondered then what life would be like when everything was reduced to simple ones and zeros. Wouldn’t it all be so finely-calculated to the point of being hyper-sanitary…and boring?

As it turned out, my simple teenage mind was prescient in many ways. In the rush toward digital everything, plenty of what made life interesting—and arguably better—has been lost, probably forever.

Realistically speaking, plenty of what I’m about to throw on the table happened long before “my day”. As such, my intent isn’t to sound curmudgeonly. It’s just that with technology moving at such breakneck speed toward The Singularity, I haven’t seen much written about what we’ve sacrificed along the way as collateral damage.

 
Rise Above Today's Tension Between Men And Women, With Better Relationships In Mind

 

Continue reading “12 Wonders From The Past That Post-Modernity Has Stolen From Us”

The Future Is Also Male: 12 Ways It’s Still Up To Men To Change The World

 
Micajah Autry At The AlamoYou’re probably familiar with the saying, “The future is female”.

No doubt, we love strong, empowered, dirt shredding, Krav Maga ass kicking women who are 100% feminine all the time around here at Casa McKay. Those who know our family best have seen it first-hand.

But naturally, we’re also still about strong, empowered, 100% masculine men. We love you, man.

So I boldly proclaim to you that the future is male, also.

To be clear, it’s not like the future is male instead of female. The future isn’t genderless, either. Indeed, the future is both male and female, just as the entire history of humanity up to this point has inherently been.

Yes, we as men are collectively treating women better than ever before, as we should, and that trend will continue. Meanwhile, men and women can, should and will continue to make valuable contributions to society, and indeed to each other.

Since masculinity and femininity are indelibly tied to gender and procreation, that also means sexual polarity itself is not a zero-sum game. I mean, think of the stark irony of that very concept. We as men are, by Intelligent Design, about one half of the population. Regardless of what you may have heard that’s unlikely to change. Therefore, it’s logically untenable to think men are somehow irrelevant nowadays and going forward.

Yet, we’ve arrived at a moment in history where we’re met with a constant barrage of virtue signalling messages telling us as men we’re in the way of progress and perhaps even collectively “on the wrong side of history”. We’re exhorted to “do better”, without ever acknowledging the possibility that we might have some virtue already tucked away somewhere.

We’re told our innate masculinity is “toxic”, even at times by other men themselves. But as much as some try to root around in the dark for valid alternatives, often with ostensibly decent intentions, we aren’t given any.

 
Rise Above Today's Tension Between Men And Women, With Better Relationships In Mind

 

Continue reading “The Future Is Also Male: 12 Ways It’s Still Up To Men To Change The World”

Behind The Scenes: 15 Secrets About The Mountain Top Podcast I’ve Never Admitted Before

 
Edroy And Odem, Next RightLots of you listen to The Mountain Top Podcast, and possibly even X & Y On The Fly also. Awesome. I’m grateful for every one of you, and genuinely appreciate your support over the years.

Well, except for any of you who are among the handful of angry, easily-offended women out there who’ve left appallingly hateful reviews, as if they’re going around searching for relatively decent dudes like me to ruthlessly lambaste for their personal enjoyment.

And to be clear, I’m not excepting them from my appreciation. I’m actually glad they cared enough to show up too. Rather, I’m simply doing them the service of excepting them from being referred to as “supporters” of the show. After all, I’m sure that would offend the hell out of them.

But enough about that. After over a dozen years of producing episodes, it’s time to let you in on fifteen of the deepest, darkest secrets we’ve carefully hidden from public knowledge for years. I mean, why not, right?

 
Because Forever Is Too Long To Not Get Along

 

Continue reading “Behind The Scenes: 15 Secrets About The Mountain Top Podcast I’ve Never Admitted Before”

A Dating Coach’s Take On Why Mass Shootings Happen

 
I don’t consider myself a world expert in sociology, abnormal psychology or criminal justice. Nor am I sworn to the political right or left.

Given the conversation at hand, all of that might be an advantage in my case. At the very least, I have no problem “opening a can” on the conversation about the mass-shooting problem that nobody seems to be having. Whether that’s a can of worms or whoop-ass is for you to decide.

But either way, I’m not about to pretend I’ve figured out any definitive solution to such a complex issue. Rather, I’m simply about to present what has occurred to me naturally as a man who is immersed in the art and science of social dynamics and male/female relationships on a daily basis.

As such, the entire purpose of this post is to open the discussion among rational people who think for themselves. That means if you’ve been successfully propagandized by either the Right or the Left, prepare to be pissed off.

Remarkable stuff starts happening when one thinks for him or herself. I would love to have finished this piece sooner, but it’s been one of those posts where I’ve kept getting haunted by new and intriguing ideas even when I’m trying to think about something else.

I mean, by now my wife Emily has grown accustomed to me leaping out of bed in the night, all but sprinting to my computer with a spring in my step and a light bulb glowing over my head. But this time it has all been kicked it up a notch. Just last night I found myself driving home from the gym repeating “there’s a cause…pipe bomb…masculine self-fulfilling prophecy” over and over in my head so the spontaneous ideas wouldn’t evaporate before I managed to get home.

But the time has come. On with this crucial discussion.

 
Rise Above Today's Challenges To Relationships Between Men And Women

 

Continue reading “A Dating Coach’s Take On Why Mass Shootings Happen”

Asian Women Vs. Beer Men And Traffic Lights

 
It’s already an established fact that I have this thing for Asian flight attendants. And it’s not even like I prefer Asian women in particular. It’s just that the flight attendants over there tend to be more feminine, more graceful and—best of all—almost obsequious in their pleasure to serve. It all makes for a more enjoyable 14-hour flight.

Oh, and if you really hit the jackpot, they dress in seriously exotic uniforms that no Western flight attendant would be caught dead wearing in public, like this:


Peacocking, Sri Lankan Airlines Style

Women in Asia aren’t afraid to be, well, female. That, combined with the tantalizing cultural differences between East and West, ensure that we as male visitors are treated to frequent surprises of the best possible kind.

Once you step off of the airplane, you just might find women where you never think they’d be, dripping in feminine charm at a time and place far-flung from where you’d expect to find it.

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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12 Things Some Guys Do, Mistakenly Thinking They’re Cool

 
Women Made EasyLet’s have some fun today.

Recently I got into a discussion with a few friends—some female, no less—on the subject of what guys who decidedly don’t “get it” are like.

Essentially, it quickly became a referendum on coolness, particularly in the eyes of women.

As you might imagine it turned out to be a truly fascinating conversation. As such, I felt compelled to share the finer points of it with you.

Recalling what was said, I’ve made a list of a dozen major missteps guys make in the name of being cool which typically result in women thinking the exact OPPOSITE about them.

But before I get on a roll ranting about them all, there are at least three points that deserve to be made.

 
Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

 

Continue reading “12 Things Some Guys Do, Mistakenly Thinking They’re Cool”

7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love

 
Get Your Game OnI’m not sure what it is lately, but I’ve been getting more than my fair share of e-mails from guys saying something to the effect of this:

“But Scot, I’m incredibly useless/boring/average and there’s nothing about me that a woman would be attracted to, especially compared to other guys out there.”

My knee-jerk reaction is to encourage men who think that way to stop comparing themselves to others and take control over their circumstances instead. Thankfully, we can DO SOMETHING to change the way things are if we just don’t feel like we’ve got a whole lot to offer a woman. That’s what deserving what you want is all about.

But I have to be honest with you. My knee-jerk reaction has to yield to a gut-level hunch in this case. That’s this: I’d be willing to bet that you ALREADY HAVE some pretty badass skills in your toolbox. The problem is that you simply aren’t leveraging them.

Here are seven examples of common skills that thrill women to no end. You may already possess some of these, but the reason I’ve selected them in particular is because they can be acquired with a modicum of effort:

Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

Continue reading “7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love”

Seducing Wild Alaska: The Truth About Male/Female Ratios Up There

 
There's At Least One Hottie Out There Climbing The GlaciersWe’ve been in Alaska for the past two weeks.

For real. In fact, we just got back two nights ago and we’ve pretty much been catching up on sleep since.

Now, you’ve probably noticed that like one out of four shows on the Discovery or National Geographic channels have something to do with Alaska. Usually, they refer to it as “Wild Alaska”, or something similar.

Well, if you’ve been there you don’t need me to tell you that it lived up to the hype. Whether we were hiking glaciers in Kennicott, powering through the Kenai Fjords along with a pod of Dall’s Porpoises or hauling ass up the infamous Dalton Highway toward the Arctic Circle and beyond, Alaska was nothing short of an amazing and glorious adventure at every turn.

But to me, the WILDEST thing about Alaska was something completely different…and something wholly unexpected.

You see, I’ve been hearing from guys who actually LIVE in Alaska for years now. They all say the same thing over and over:

“But Scot, I don’t have a girlfriend and the problem is that I live in Alaska. There are like 50 guys for every woman here. I have no chance with odds like that! The competition is too much to overcome.”

Having received probably fifty e-mails like that but never having been to The Last Frontier myself, you can imagine what I expected to see once we touched down at Ted Stevens Int’l, grabbed our luggage and caught a ride to the hotel.

Both Emily and I had been led to believe we’d encounter a veritable Armistice Day Parade of buff, interesting, “Marlboro Man” types interrupted only occasionally by some pasty, unappetizing chick named “Large Marge” in a 4×4 pickup truck with “Halliburton” on the side.

Instead, the reality was nothing short of SHOCKING.

 
Most Valuable Player:  Be The Man High Quality Women Can't Resist

 

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Do You Really Have A “Porn Problem”?

Seductive, Isn't It?What I’m about to share with you comes after months of consideration, countless conversations with real guys everywhere and yes…a final decision that despite how controversial my thoughts are going to be to some, this post really NEEDS to be written.

Here’s the thing. I get a lot of messages from guys on the subject of porn.

Typically, they’re worried that they have a very real problem in their life because they’re watching it. They wonder if it’s scarring them for life, disjointing their views of women or even “robbing them of masculine power”. They’re concerned that if any woman they ever go out with finds out about it, she’ll drop them like a hot potato.

Make Her Want To Do Anything For You

Continue reading “Do You Really Have A “Porn Problem”?”

7 Clues That You’re Being Too Picky

 
Be Selective, Not PickyIf you’ve been reading this blog and/or my newsletters for some time, you already know how much I tend to harp on “settling”.

Essentially, I firmly believe that we shouldn’t allow ourselves to get into a long-term relationship with ANYONE who isn’t really who we want.

That’s all well and good.

But a couple of days ago, someone wrote in and basically asked this:

“Okay, smart guy. It’s loud and clear by now that I shouldn’t ‘settle’. But wait a minute, Trigger. How am I supposed to know if I’m being TOO picky?”

Interesting. On the surface, one’s knee-jerk reaction might be to assume that if “settling” is such a dirty, forbidden state of affairs then there would theoretically not be any such thing as being “too picky”.

But as it turns out, you really CAN cross the line if you’re not careful.

Continue reading “7 Clues That You’re Being Too Picky”

8 Signs Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Respect You Enough

 
I Get No Respect...No Respect At All.If the subject line of this post grabbed your attention, it’s probably because you’ve been there before.

You were crazy about a particular woman, and what do you know? She actually went out with you. What’s more, she actually became your girlfriend.

Maybe she was even as hot for you as you were for her…at least at first.

But over time, as things became more, shall we say, “familiar”, you started getting the sneaking suspicion that she was sort of taking you for granted.

In fact, you got the feeling that she fully expected you to stick around forever regardless of what she did or didn’t do for you.

She had clearly grown complacent. She had gotten used to keeping you around without having to exert much effort.

You just weren’t much of a “challenge” anymore.

And you know what? I realize this is going to sting a bit…but that can only mean she was losing respect for you.

That’s right. You’ve heard of the “Just Be Friends Zone”? Well, you had been banished to the “No Respect Zone”. And as you probably found out, it’s every bit as deep a pit to climb out of.

Now, before you start throwing rocks at your computer monitor and/or slam your iPad to the floor, here are eight ways to tell if what I’m bring up here really applies to you or not.

That’s right. I’ve identified a total of eight quick signs that a woman is losing respect for you—or has completely lost it already:

Continue reading “8 Signs Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Respect You Enough”

The No-Nonsense, Non-“Metro” Guide To “Manscaping” Your Nether Regions

No Need To 'Fear The 'Scape'The term “manscaping” tends to inspire a bit of “metrophobia” in most normal guys.

But hey…all we’re really talking about for the purposes of this blog post is what’s going to be more attractive to feminine women, not less so.

So there’s really no good reason to “fear the ‘scape”. Every man should give some normal, rational thought to it.

This all means that at the VERY LEAST you want to keep your “nether regions” trimmed. If it’s a jungle” down there, it discourages women from performing oral sex.

The big question though, of course, always comes down to whether or not to go for it and just shave yourself clean down there.

This isn’t for everyone, but if the idea intrigues you here’s what you’ll need to think about.

 
Rise Above Today's Challenges To Relationships Between Men And Women

 

Continue reading “The No-Nonsense, Non-“Metro” Guide To “Manscaping” Your Nether Regions”

Letter From A Reader: Hugging, Holding Hands, And That’s It [Video]

Recently I received an e-mail from Matt, who has been hanging out with a woman who seems interested in hugging and holding hands…but not a whole lot more than that, if anything. Apparently, based on the letters I receive, this is a problem that lots of guys face at one point or another.

So what gives? Here’s the full message from Matt, along with my response:

 

 

Click Here To Get The Lowdown On The Master Plan

 
Got any comments or stories to share? Let’s hear them!

Be Good,

Scot McKay

 

 

 








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Letter From A Woman: How To Have The “Total Package”

The following e-mail was sent by a woman named Christine in response to the latest newsletter titled “The Day The Real Men Showed Up”. I’ve received several messages very similar to it, but there are a few very specific things Christine mentioned that inspired me to post this particular message. Read on…

Scot,

I will admit, I don’t read ALL the “guy emails” you send, but click on ones with pertinent titles. It never ceases to amaze me how RIGHT you are about women, ALL the time!!! 😉

I have been casually dating a “nice guy” for 5 months. On paper, this guy had it all right – the career, the stability, the friends, the great family, the hobbies, the interests, etc. But he had no game, no “leading man” skills whatsoever. I kept giving this guy a chance because he had all the other qualities I was looking for.

I kept waiting for “the man” to show up. He never did.

And it was a *total* attraction killer for me. Now that I look back, it was so obvious, right from the first date.

If this guy did “have game” he would be a total catch for any woman. My ex husband was a man with a lot of leading man skills, but not a lot of the other qualities that are attractive to women. I now know that the leading man skills were the biggest reason I married him, even when the other qualities were less than stellar.

Without those leading man skills, a guy can be no more than a friend to a woman. It’s the ugly truth.

Even worse, this guy calls to tell me how much he likes me and wants to have an exclusive relationship, and THEN admits to me that he knows he does not have “woman skills” but he doesn’t know how to fix it!!! Ugh! Ask me how much I wanted to email him your website link!!!!! My goodness, he has not even kissed me yet! It has been 5 MONTHS!

So, I am moving on, looking for the guy with the right amount of “leading man” combined with the all other qualities. I will not settle this time. And I will not waste 5 months on the next “no game” man like this, you can be sure of that.

Keep doing what you do, maybe I will come across one of your students yet. 🙂

Friends,

Christine!

Ocean City, MD

Man, I miss summers in Ocean City, MD. That was the good life.

But more importantly here, a lot of us as guys are missing the point.

The “Big Four” (masculinity, confidence, inspiring confidence and character) are foundational to attracting high quality women. But it truly is leadership that surrounds the “Big Four” and grounds it in objective, tangible reality for a woman.

That’s why when we produced a complete system on relationship management, we named it The Leading Man.

So sure, Christine’s ex-husband compelled her with pure leadership…even without a complete representation of “The Big Four”. This happens all the time, since women naturally respond to a confident man’s lead. Welcome to a key reason why women often end up with a guy who isn’t good for them. Sometimes confident leadership is all it takes to get a woman to hang out with you.

That’s right…much of what causes Idiot/Jerks to end up with the women we want is that they simply were confident enough to lead. Does everyone in such a situation ultimately “live happily ever after”? Of course not, but that’s the “hidden” part of the equation that we don’t often notice.

So fast forward to the present. Christine’s got a guy who seems to have “the whole package”–at least on paper–but who won’t (or can’t) step up and lead.

He admits to her he needs help in his skills with women, but shows little initiative with regard to getting his shop in order. To top it all off, he fails to even step up to the plate and kiss her after five months…even though she clearly wanted that to happen.

Failure To Deploy is failure to lead. Plain and simple.

So the moral of this story? Being a “Big Four” man is the foundation. Leadership is the fuel that sets it all in motion. That’s what the “whole package” really looks like.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

 

 

 








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Online Dating Vs. Dating Online

Get Off The Phone And Meet The Woman In PersonDuring the conversation Zan Perrion and I had for The Master Plan one of the most fascinating themes we discussed was how we as a modern culture are becoming more and more disconnected from each other.

One’s first thought when considering that idea is, “Hey, wait a minute. Everyone’s got an Internet connection and a cell phone these days. If anything, we’re more connected.”

But that’s precisely the issue. With the ability to get online for “typing and Skyping” on the fly, and the advent of text messaging we can communicate easier than ever. Granted.

But do we really connect?

Zan and I were in 100% agreement that we do not. Despite all the technology allowing us to communicate, people are actually gathering less often in real life. In the framework of our “wired” lifestyle we actually tend to meet fewer people in real life than we used to, and less often.

And perhaps most alarmingly, it would appear we like it that way.

One key example we covered was how people are actually dating online instead of online dating.

What am I talking about here?

 

 

 

Continue reading “Online Dating Vs. Dating Online”

More On “Reverse One-Itis” And Falling In Love Too Fast

If you receive the X & Y Communications newsletter, you just read my answer to a man who has a woman in his life who is expressing clear emotional attachment early on in the non-exclusive relationship.

If you don’t receive the X & Y Communications newsletter, that problem can be cured by using the form of a the top of the right-hand column over there. –>

As promised, here is another similar question from Sander in Atlanta (which if you’re from Boston, rhymes.) This time, there’s the added complication of him wondering how not to fall into a similar situation himself.

Read on… Continue reading “More On “Reverse One-Itis” And Falling In Love Too Fast”

Women Want A Man Who Will Lead…Here’s Proof

In the latest edition of the X & Y Communications weekly newsletter, I shared with you an e-mail from a man who had been dating a particularly sharp woman. She had been showing some clear signs of interest, including staying out with him way later than she planned on date #2.

Yet, our hero (in this case Russell from Michigan) was used to distinct “chasing behavior” from other women he had been dating recently. So when that latest woman didn’t exactly follow suit in the form of calling first, suggesting where to go on dates, making overt statements of interest, etc. he took it as either a minimal interest level or (gasp) manipulative behavior. After all, why should a guy have to do all the “heavy lifting” here?

In my answer to his e-mail, I reassured him that the woman was likely very interested in him. Importantly, she was equally likely not a manipulator who wanted him to “chase” her.

My take on the situation was in fact that she was simply one of those rare, amazing women who demonstrates a sense of dignity that rare, amazing men ALSO tend to possess. That is to say, she understands the attraction-killing danger of giving away one’s power in the form of neediness and/or insecurity.

She wasn’t about “chasing” anyone…or about “chasing” at all, really. High-quality men and women are past that much in the same way that Mark Cuban is past checking out his personal credit report.

But most importantly, like virtually all other particularly sharp women, she was looking for benevolent leadership from our main man Russell. She requires a man who can make decisions, have situations handled, and set plans based on genuine recognition of her reasonable preferences and desires as a woman.

Since releasing that newsletter, the responses I’ve received have been fascinating. Typically, some of you guys have been sending me examples similar to Russell’s from your own life asking me to unravel what occurred. Apparently, what we’re discussing here is so foreign to standard “Seduction Community” teaching that it’s frying our collective circuits as guys.

But wait…I also heard from numerous women. That’s right, gentlemen…the ladies are reading the newsletter. And here’s a random sampling from an almost uniform chorus of female voices:

“Hey Scot…..loved your email today (female here) You are so on the mark with your thought process and advice. Where have all the men gone that can ‘lead’? Appreciate your candid info….you really know ‘what a girl wants’. HAPPY NEW YEAR” –Diane in Canada

“I’ve been reading your articles for a few weeks now and I just had to respond to your latest article – YOU ARE SO RIGHT ON!! I am so perplexed/frustrated with meeting men who have absolutely no leadership skills like this guy. We have a great time but then do… ????
Anyway, I wish all men would be reading your newsletters. I mostly just think they are clueless with no malice intended but I do NOT want to be a teacher. Keep up the good work. I really appreciate it and hope to meet a wonderful one of these days!” –Ginger from Parts Unknown

“I love your response to Russel, and you have my sincere congratulations for recognizing and pointing out the quality women truly do want men who lead. I understand Russell’s confusion over the situation with the woman he tried to date. It seems that men particularly have a stereotype of women – that we are bossy and always “want to call the shots.” In reality, we call the shots because the men often do not. But, deep down, we really want a man to lead. We adore men who will stand up for his convictions and give us something to respect and follow. Trust me, I am a woman who have been married to the same man for over 12 years. So, keep up the great work!! All the best.” –Kirsten from Who Knows Where

…and this gem:

“I don’t usually respond to any dating emails but this one was compelling and
I couldn’t resist. You summed it all up by telling him that we women crave masculinity. It’s a NON-NEGOTIABLE! Women can’t resist a charming, smart, socially savvy man who leads. That is
sexy to us. A man who can lead in turn makes us want to explode with our femininity, which is what you men want, right!?

So, guess what boys…we won’t even keep your number on our cell phones if you don’t show us we are worth the effort! Any indication of weakness on your part automatically eliminates you from the running!

By expecting the woman to call (at least in the initial stages of dating) you are sending this woman a message that you Do Not Value HER (which is also an indication of arrogance on your part..way up there on that list of turn-offs). How can you possibly expect to win-over that “High-Quality” woman if you don’t let her know that she’s worth your time and effort?! If you don’t do your part to inspire us to shower you with our femininity, then you can’t have it. Period. End of story. It’s simple guys…pick up the phone…D-I-A-L! Show us your manliness–and your reward will be great.” –Abby from Seattle

So, Abby. Tell us how you really feel, huh?

All of this reminds me to remind you that what we are up to around here is not “underground”. I couldn’t really give a rat’s hindquarters if women “find out” what we’re talking about. In fact, see for yourself…they not only know about it, they’re cheering me on.

I hear one of you guys out there saying, “Yeah Scot, but women will say they want something from a guy and their actions will demonstrate the exact opposite.”

Really? Are you sure about that, or is that just something you learned from somewhere “underground”?

Yeah well, I like it right here above ground, where the sun shines. Real women have spoken, and you can choose to believe that they know what they’re talking about…or not.

As for me, I’ve always preferred women who knew what they were talking about. Women who say one thing and do something else kind of bore me. Then again, men who are like that are sort of a drag also, as anyone who has ever been in the business world (or bought a used car) can attest.

So here’s my challenge to you for 2008, guys: Are you going to keep doing what you’ve always done when it comes to attracting women?

If you’ve decided that enough is enough and that it’s time to trade in mediocrity for a wildly successful dating life, then you know what to do. Here’s the link I mentioned in the newsletter…and those of you who are on the guest list for it have the secret code I gave.

I’ve got your back and am at your side as you attain a level of success with great women that very, very few men will ever even realize exists.

And ladies, what about you? Do you refuse to settle for anyone less than a man of masculine leadership and character? If you think all men are lacking in that department, it’s time to cut loose old ways of thinking and begin to recognize the simple truth that there are a multitude of men out there who deserve great women. The question is, are you ready to meet one? If you don’t have a clear answer, here’s a great place to start.

Take care, and thanks again to everyone who writes and/or leaves comments. I’ll be back again in a day or two with what could be the ultimate wintertime first date idea.

Be Good,

Scot
 








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