15 Things No Man Should EVER Say

 
Scot and EmilyMost of my online research on the subject du jour uncovered articles by angry women whose baseline vitriol toward men was barely concealed under the surface. Predictably, the vast majority were specifically about what men should never say to women in particular.

I found myself reading enduring endless rants over purely innocent, and in many cases ostensibly innocuous (e.g. “you look beautiful tonight”) alleged mistakes by men who meant well, it’s just that they were apparently ill-equipped to read angry women’s minds Said angry women, in turn not able to read men’s minds, therefore assumed the worst, of course.

Yeah, well…if you’re at all worried this is going to be that kind of post, save your brain cells. I’m not an angry woman, nor have I been hanging out with any lately who could theoretically influence my thoughts.

Rather, this is a man-to-man post with the well-meaning brotherly intention of saving guys from clearly demonstrating they have zero skill with women whatsoever.

That means I’ll be sparing you any semblance of politically correct regurgitation, including but not limited to “dog-whistling” or “virtue signalling”. That said, I make no apologies for “triggering” anyone. After all, Job One here is watching out for your best interests as a man who loves women.

So let’s get on with it, already.

And by the way, I’m not limiting the list to what we should never say to women per se. What follows is a more pure rendering of what should never be said by a man period.

 
Rise Above Today's Challenges To Relationships Between Men And Women

 

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What Have We Replaced The Seduction Community With?

 
Shocked By SexWhat’s truly bizarre to me is guys who have been working on getting better with women for less than, say, five years (therefore, the vast majority) have probably never even heard of The Seduction Community.

Essentially, it’s a lot like how my sixteen year-old daughter has no idea who Sam Kinison is.

So for the sake of clarity, what was The Seduction Community?

 
Women Want Your Hands All Over Them

 

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If It’s Not Fast, It’s Only Half-Fast: 5 1/2 Situations With Women That Call For Speed

 
Half an ass, half-fastGo ahead. Say the first part of the subject line out loud. Do it briskly enough so you can hear what’s REALLY being said.

In other words, don’t give it a half-fast effort.

So gentlemen, what does a clever motorsports phrase like that have to do with women?

Well, I’m about to pull the blanket off of one of The Most Interesting Man’s more infamous pronouncements: “I assure you, most women would not consider speed a virtue.”

Now, while I wholeheartedly agree with that statement in context (speed dating)—as well as in the bedroom and during the whole seduction “dance”, for example—I’m convinced that there are absolutely other times where if you’re slow on the draw you’re going to LOSE, big time.

Here are my five (and a half) situations where you’d better be fast, lest you be half-fast:

 
X-Ray Vision Into A Woman's Deepest Fantasies

 

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Do Men Even Notice Women Anymore?

 
Not me, it was the guy behind me...I swear.

[Please Read: This has obviously become an incendiary post, to the point of going viral. If you are a #MGTOW and wish to take me to task for having had a vibrant, highly-satisfying dating life that led to a happy, fulfilling relationship with a wonderful woman, I’ve already responded to similar comments more than enough times below. Likewise, every #MGTOW battle cry and every stat you guys use to drive your confirmation bias has already been brought up and respectfully responded to (most of which several times). Going forward, I’ll only be approving well-articulated comments that add something new to the conversation. Please read this other post before commenting to gain clarity on my gender-neutral position on human behavior. Oh, and yes…I’m fully aware that both the #MeToo Movement and COVID-19 have happened since this post was originally written.]

—–

A while back I was on a coaching call with a woman who happens to be smart, successful and beautiful. We were actively discussing creative ways she might encourage the kind of man she deserves to introduce himself, start a conversation and sweep her off of her feet.

Out of the blue, she posed one of the most poignant questions I’d been asked in quite some time:

“Scot, do men even LOOK at women anymore? I mean, do they even NOTICE us out there?”

My knee-jerk response, had I not stopped to ponder the issue, may have been something to the effect of, “Well, of course. Men have been making it a point to stop and admire women they happen to see when they’re out and about since the dawn of recorded time. And probably before that as well.”

But instead I paused. The question wasn’t a mere throwaway…some miscellaneous rant from a woman who couldn’t understand why she couldn’t even catch a man looking, let alone get him to approach her.

So we talked about it some. And since I was on a road trip and passing through South Carolina, Georgia and Florida, I decided to do somewhat of a field study.

 
Make Her Want To Do Anything For You

 

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7 Bad-To-The-Bone Skills That Women Love

 
Get Your Game OnI’m not sure what it is lately, but I’ve been getting more than my fair share of e-mails from guys saying something to the effect of this:

“But Scot, I’m incredibly useless/boring/average and there’s nothing about me that a woman would be attracted to, especially compared to other guys out there.”

My knee-jerk reaction is to encourage men who think that way to stop comparing themselves to others and take control over their circumstances instead. Thankfully, we can DO SOMETHING to change the way things are if we just don’t feel like we’ve got a whole lot to offer a woman. That’s what deserving what you want is all about.

But I have to be honest with you. My knee-jerk reaction has to yield to a gut-level hunch in this case. That’s this: I’d be willing to bet that you ALREADY HAVE some pretty badass skills in your toolbox. The problem is that you simply aren’t leveraging them.

Here are seven examples of common skills that thrill women to no end. You may already possess some of these, but the reason I’ve selected them in particular is because they can be acquired with a modicum of effort:

Women Made Easy: What They Do, Why They Do It And How To Be A Man About It

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Women Really Are BORED…And They’re Waiting For YOU To Approach Them.

She's Bored To Tears...And We Hate When Women Cry, Huh? If you subscribe to my newsletter, which you should–especially if you’re a guy, then you probably caught my bit a week or so ago about how women are generally a lot more BORED on a regular basis than we think. Even the most attractive ones.

When you get right down to it, if and when you get over yourself and say hello to a woman you find attractive you’re very likely to find that she’s THRILLED you showed up. No kidding. She probably hasn’t had anything that exciting happen ALL DAY.

Still, a number of you chose to e-mail me with your doubts. In fact, enough of you still believe that every remotely attractive woman out there must be living like a “rock star” that I felt compelled to post a few of the responses to that newsletter that I got from various WOMEN who read it.

So that’s exactly what I’m about to do. Read ’em and weep…or be massively and powerfully encouraged. Your choice.

Continue reading “Women Really Are BORED…And They’re Waiting For YOU To Approach Them.”

When She Says, “I Have A Boyfriend” + Special Teleseminar Event

The Man's Approach Is Coming On Friday September 10th, 2010With The Man’s Approach ready to drop this Friday September 10th at 11 am EDT, I wanted to be sure to get you up to speed with the goodies I’ve been handing out…just in case you’re not on the info list.

So far there have been two reports, and you can grab both of them once you get on the info list I just mentioned:

Special Report: 5 Things Women Want You To Know When Approaching Them

Special Report: When She Says, “I Have A Boyfriend

Response to those two reports has been nothing short of overwhelming. Even more amazing has been the number of responses we’ve gotten to the quick survey we have at the website. There have been 2090 in just about a week to the main question: “What are your biggest challenges when it comes to meeting women, starting conversations with them and/or making plans to see them again?”

We really didn’t dream we’d get as much input from guys all over the world as we have. While our first thought was to take all the answers and use them to make The Man’s Approach even better, we’ve decided to go ahead and hold a webinar/teleseminar TOMORROW NIGHT, September 9th @ 9 pm EDT.

On that call I’m going to be joined by a few other world-class experts at meeting women and we’re going to cover the solutions to as many of the sticking points guys have submitted as we can in 90 minutes.

Here are the coordinates for the call:

DATE: Thursday September 9th (That’s Tomorrow)

TIME: 9pm Eastern Daylight Time (GMT -4)

ACCESS: Via US Call-In Number OR Worldwide Via The Web

DETAILS: http://bit.ly/TheMansApproachWebinar

That’s all for now. Be sure to get in on the pre-launch info list because I have yet another special report coming tomorrow…just before The Man’s Approach itself launches on Friday.

Be Good,

Scot

The Man's Approach ... Coming This Summer From X & Y Communications

 








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The Master Plan Is LIVE

Become The High Quality Man Women Crave With The Master PlanToday is the day everything changes.

Until now, it has been implied to us as guys that we needed to “soften our demeanor”, “be nice” and otherwise fall in line with modern “feminized” culture.

The problem? Although we’ve been encouraged to think masculinity is somehow a bad thing, nobody ever gave us a roadmap for what to replace it with.

Obviously, the answer isn’t to be more feminine. Nothing lands a guy in the “Just Be Friends” zone more quickly.

So are we supposed to just “turn off” the masculinity…cold turkey? Well…if you’re neuter, you pretty much have zero chance at attracting anyone sexually.

Maybe the solution is a lot more simple.: There really isn’t anything wrong with masculinity to begin with.

That’s what I personally believe. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that most women want their men back.

 

 

 

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The Master Plan — You Already Are A “Natural”

Become The High Quality Man Women Crave With The Master PlanLately there’s been lots of talk about “natural game”…as if all we need to do is emulate a guy who we see as a “natural”, and we’ll somehow become more attractive to women.

Now sure, having some guys who are great with women show you the ropes isn’t such a bad idea. But do we really need to copy someone else’s entire persona in order to successfully attract the kind of women we want?

Well, a lot of us as guys have been suspecting something all along: We are all “naturals”. By being born male, we’re supposed to be attractive to women by our very nature. Simply put, you were BORN to attract women.

 

 

 

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Retail Stores: Maximize Your Numbers In The Dating Game

Hey guys, this article hit my mind as I thought about my journey in the dating game. Retail stores, malls, etc. are fantastic places to start out if you are just beginning your self change in the dating game. It’s a great place to get over fear of approach, work on successful banter, and become comfortable in your own shoes. On the flip side, if you are successful already, this is a great place to keep going on your journey of authenticity and strong character, all the while having a bit of fun and enjoying the dating game.

If you are just beginning this journey, you probably have a ton of stuff running in your head. Icebreakers to open the conversation, what do I say next, tests, body language, etc. It can be overwhelming. For some cold approaches are difficult. However I still believe that you just have to harness those nerves of a cold approach and enjoy them, and just go over and do it. Now in a retail store, those nerves are a little less. Why? Well the women there are being paid to work, and they have to be courteous to you. However, know this, they are at work, they are most likely wanting to have a break from the routine, and have someone light up their day. Also in no way are you obligated to buy anything.

 

 

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Perfectionism And How To Tackle It…For Dating Success And Beyond

It has been a while since I posted my last article on this blog, and it’s already February 2009, so you may wonder why I have remained silent for a few weeks? And the truth is that I was afraid. Yes, I was afraid of writing an article which will be anything less than perfect. Didn’t I tell you that I was a perfectionist?

Perfectionism and Fear of Mediocrity

And while perfectionism is something socially acceptable, in essence it’s nothing else other than a fear of mediocrity. Yes, FEAR OF MEDIOCRITY. Such perfectionism creates a self-imposed pressure that we want to avoid. And this avoidance leads to procrastination and self-defeating fears. It says “If I can’t do it perfectly, then I really don’t want to do it at all.” How is it related to meeting women and enjoying a happy love life you may ask?

 

 

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Alcohol-Free Authenticity — Improve Your Success With Women When Sober

When you are out on the town having a good time with your friends and talking to girls, it may be so tempting to have a few drinks. Perhaps, drinking allows you to relax, get you out of your head, makes you more impulsive and talkative, and helps you to be your natural attractive self with girls around you. As one of my friends said, “When you have a few drinks, it guarantees you a fun night out…”

The reason why drinking may help your game is that alcohol allows you to temporarily reduce your inhibitions and express your natural masculine desires. It also helps you to switch off the “script” (i.e. social conditioning, limiting beliefs and fears). And then your natural self springs into action and seizes the night. But…

Problems start when you have a few too many and relaxed and comfortable becomes sloppy and messy. Your mind may lose its sharpness and you may start failing the tests from women or be unable to plan how to close the deal…let alone that drinking may seriously affect your erectile function and the amount of cash in your pocket, including all the money you spend on taxis!

 

 

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The Power of Being Observant In Pickup

Ok guys, around here it is mentioned a lot how a man can almost have what appears to be superpowers with a woman. Being observant is yet another one of those powers.

I find it to be the most important aspect in my dating game, especially lately. It takes experience, it takes ups and downs but then you will notice it starts to make a huge difference. It is about being observant in multiple different situations. Whether you are just about to try to pick her up, meeting someone for a date for the first time, an icebreaker on the fly, AMOG’ing another guy out, escalating kino, conflict resolution, etc. and etc., observation is a strong tool.

The key to a lot of it is being able to, in a sense, slow things down. A key part of this is body language. I mentioned in my article “From Russia with Love” about body language–Bond always has calm under fire. I do not walk into a bar, going, “OK…time to find my targets, and then point 5.6 to neg 3 minus, calibrate my energy and inoculate the number, target 6 will get canned line 7….”.

Yes I have a game plan, yes I have a structure…but it is simple. It is natural to me, I am not a robot about it. I see my whole game lately having a core of being observant in any situation.

I will give some key examples below how being observant will put you in the power of choosing, and putting things in slow motion. Remember gentlemen, it takes a lot of experience, mistakes, ups and downs, but with each situation you are fine tuning yourself.

 

 

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Junior Is A Flirt

I've got to teach this kid to put a shirt on in his online pics. And to wash his face while he's at it.Keep your infant daughters away from my kid. Actually, check that. Keep your pre-teen daughters away from him.

Seriously, Scot, Jr. (aka “Micky Mac”) is a serious flirt. Already. At the ripe old age of eleven months.

And yes…he’s diggin’ on “older women”.

We knew pretty quickly that he had a thing for g-i-r-l-s, but lately it has been taken to the next level. Sure, the little infant chickies in their little pink bows and Power Puff Grrrl diapers are “hot babes” to him, but he really has this thing for little girls about middle-school age. I mean, he just lights up when he sees them.

The whole thing is fascinating to watch actually, if I may say so myself.

For starters, you can forget about “approach anxiety”. When the kid “isolates his target” he practically jumps out of my arms trying to “kino” her. Once loose, he’s a master of the “three second rule”. He can’t crawl fast enough in her direction.

And of course, this usually elicits the desired, “Awww….how cute!” reaction, including occasional hugs, tickles and kisses. Nice.

And Micky-Mac is, well, “mackin'” the whole time.

But here’s where it gets weird.

Usually, when he sees a g-i-r-l he likes, his first thought when trying to get her attention is to growl like a little bear, complete with the arms in the air. “Grrr…AHHH!”

What’s up with that?

Well, putting two and two together, that’s the sort of thing I do when I play around with him. Me, his Dad. Mom doesn’t do that sort of thing.

So, basically, he gets that I’m a “boy” like he is, he knows that “g-i-r-l-s” are different and interesting, and somehow his instincts (or something) kick in and tell him to act like a boy toward these “different and interesting” human beings he sees.

Knowing that he’s like me, his Dad, he picks up on the “boy” behaviors I teach him and applies them “naturally” to MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex).

In other words, he’s a flirt. And an effective one. And he’s not even a year old yet.

So let’s break this down.

First of all, it’s not like my kid is some sort of lady-killing prodigy or something.

In fact, if you look around, you’ll see that lots of kids, boy or g-i-r-l, exhibit the same sort of behavior at a very early age. I mean, who hasn’t seen a little toddler-sized girl batting her eyelashes at some b-o-y in the booth next door at Denny’s while slung over her mama’s shoulder?

The truth is that this goes on because we are HARD-WIRED to know the differences between genders from a very, very early age. And even MORE interestingly, it would appear that we’re basically born knowing how to interact with MOTOS and even generate attraction….all without any fear of “rejection”, natch.

I mean, “rejection”? What infant with parents who care has had any opportunity to get jaded by THAT yet?

And therein lies the irony.

It’s somewhere along the line later that the majority of us somehow lose our moxie and perhaps even our natural-born ability to be attractive to MOTOS…let alone flirt with them.

Not being a child psychologist, or any other kind of one either, I don’t have all the answers as to how or why all of this is what it is.

And granted, you can bet my kid has no idea what to actually do with these g-i-r-l-s once he actually “meets” them. Relationship management comes later, I suppose.

But I do know that if my eleven-month-old kid can “approach women” without fear and “create attraction”, then people older than he is should remain able to do so also.

Be Good,

Scot

 

 








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Who Says The Leading Man ISN’T About Pickup, After All?

Okay, so you’ve been hearing me tell you about how The Leading Man is all about relationship management. And although I do share some secrets for establishing yourself as a relationship manager from minute one when you meet a woman, mostly I’ve been saying that The Leading Man focuses on what happens after pickup.

That’s all well and good, because there are plenty of pickup products out there already–and virtually nothing on how to have a solid long-term relationship with the right woman for you. Sure, a few scattered programs may give lightweight lip service to the importance of being able to keep women around long-term and such, but they always end up talking about how fast you can get any woman into bed…again. Right?

So I’ve been doing what I can to make it abundantly clear that The Leading Man is not about pickup.

Well, just when I think I have it all figured out…Victor from Hawaii stops me dead in my tracks with this e-mail:

 

 

Continue reading “Who Says The Leading Man ISN’T About Pickup, After All?”

Structured Authentic Game

A few years ago when I was just starting on this journey to becoming a man who is successful with women, I studied a lot of material on the structure of “outer” game. As many people here would know, a lot of various seduction-related sources agree on the general structure of the game. This can be loosely divided into the following sections: opening, building attraction, qualification, developing rapport or comfort & trust, and seduction.

At the time, I learnt a lot of canned lines and stories to be told during each of these stages to successfully progress to the next “level” in the seduction process. And I must tell you, I had a few issues with this approach.

Mainly, I felt that a lot of the material was totally incongruent to my personality, and instead of showing my real myself, I was presenting a girl with some kind of artificial “Pick Up Persona”. This persona was also extremely hard to maintain when I met the girl the next time, or to develop a relationship with the girl. And as honesty and authenticity are my core values, no wonder that I didn’t enjoy much that kind of game.

 

 

Continue reading “Structured Authentic Game”

Thundercat’s BootyCast

How’s it going everyone?

Today I was Joseph “Thundercat” Matthews’ guest on his BootyCast podcast. Surprised? Well, don’t ever say I shy away from hardcore Seduction Community stuff because this is the real deal.

I’ll tell you what, Thundy’s blog readers are about as tough an audience as I’ve seen out there. We talked a bit about online dating on the show, and the comments started coming in that I must be full of it. After all, it has to be “impossible” to find oneself dating 16 women at once and/or pulling a 60-80% response rate on first e-mails. Well, it’s all true. And better yet, those who “suspend disbelief” and take on the Online Dating Domination challenge for themselves tend to get results.

But anyway, there’s lots of fun stuff on the show so I encourage you to grab a listen. Joseph pretty much plants me on the “hot seat” and keeps me there, which I always prefer to the same old mundane questions.

For example, find out why a married guy can be a dating coach. Discover how on Earth I could give up dating tons of women for blissful monogamy. Heck, find out why I think “blissful monogamy” rocks in general. It’s all in there like Prego spaghetti sauce (which we don’t talk about on the show).

And yes, we get around to talking relationship management too, of course.

Here’s the link:

Thundercat Seduction Lair

By the way, I’ve been absolutely slammed making The Leading Man extra killer. Once launch day comes next Saturday the 13th, you can expect only the best. In other words, I’ll get back to posting more heavy-duty blog content real soon. In the mean time, be sure get on the pre-launch mailing list . I’m already giving away mountains of cool stuff on relationship management.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

P.S. Have you seen this crazy stuff that Matthews is talking about lately? Check out Pure Personality for yourself.

 

 








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Three Tips For Guys Who Are Starting Out

In today’s post I’m going to try to break down some of the things that I did when I was starting out on this journey that I believe helped me out.

First, I recommend getting some friends/wingmen who are also along this journey.

I met 4 guys early on after I joined a forum. These guys were also from Sydney, and didn’t have that creepy vibe that many guys in the community give out. The advantage of having friends who are on the same, or similar, path as you is that you have someone to just vent with, someone who can push you, and someone you can just chill with.

It is possible to take this journey on your own, but its a hell of a lot more fun when you have like minded guys coming with you. A good place to meet like minded individuals is on www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum or on the forums at www.pickuppodcast.com where they have a whole section dedicated to finding wingmen.

My second tip was actually given to me by one of my wingmen. Write a blog. There are many places where you can go to write a blog, www.blogspot.com is one example.

 

 

Continue reading “Three Tips For Guys Who Are Starting Out”

Five Ways To Get Women To Approach You

This Is Not What I'm Talking AboutHere’s a question I get all the time: “Hey Scot, how do I know when a woman is interested in me? And how can I get women to approach me first?”

Okay, that’s actually two questions. But you get the point.

Well, we all know that women are typically subtle creatures. They aren’t often going to come whack you upside the melon with a 2×4 and announce, “Hey stoopid…I’m into you.”

On second thought, maybe in certain parts of Brooklyn and/or Queens that could happen. And having gone to school in downtown Filthydelphia, I might have to make an exception there also.

But I digress.

Even though most guys habitually miss women’s subtle indicators of interest, all is not lost. In fact, this post is dedicated to lazy guys everywhere who want to hit the “easy button” and bypass all of the Chick Whispering altogether.

Here, at long last, are five bona-fide ways you can get women to approach you for a change.

Let’s get on with it…

 

 

Continue reading “Five Ways To Get Women To Approach You”

Rejection And The Rules Of Approach [Part Two]

As promised in Part One, let me give you an example from my Saturday night.

One group was sitting awkwardly at the bar, in a big circle they made with a bunch of meathead looking guys to their right. I could not tell if they were friends or not.

One other girl looked completely miserable, while her friend was completely coddled by a guy. Yet another girl gave me a huge long up and down look then she went to the bar and was nearly lying on it talking to the bartender.

A second group, well they all had on rings and then their husbands came over.

In another group was a cute bunch of girls who just walked in, and were smiling and laughing.

Now, I was hoping the band would take a break soon because it was simply way too hard to talk. I had surveyed my options, and it was almost like a fun version of “musical chairs”.

So back to group one. They were sitting weirdly at the bar and one guy seemed to have a girlfriend in the group. I said, “Let’s walk around, they are not going anywhere for a bit.”

Now I have no problem approaching a group with guys but I like to study it a bit before deciding on a plan. Basically I look for wedding bands, really drunk guys or girls in the group, or an argumentative group.

Once talking to them, a key I look for is if the girls are kinda interested when talking to them, with matching body language. When I see that, I know I have an opportunity to open the group and basically just begin talking.

 

 

Continue reading “Rejection And The Rules Of Approach [Part Two]”