Men’s Issues – The Official Blog Of Scot McKay

Free

You may have read that weird one-word title and immediately assumed you were about to get something for nothing.

Who am I to disappoint you? Here’s a free copy of my book Sticking Points Solved. You’ll love it.

What’s more, there are 320+ episodes of The Mountain Top Podcast For Men here that won’t cost you a dime.

But here’s the thing. I’d like to challenge you to think of something else entirely the next time you see the word “free”.

Perhaps you’ve always thought of yourself as self-reliant rather than as a victim, so it should come easily to immediately associate “free” with FREEDOM instead of a handout. But have you caught yourself lately reducing it more often to a passive state rather than a pro-actively asserted right?

If you have, you’re far from alone. That’s the societal trend nowadays, and it’s not a benevolent one.

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The Future Is Also Male: 12 Ways It’s Still Up To Men To Change The World

[Ed. Note: Several years after writing this, it rings true more now than ever. Enjoy.]

You’re probably familiar with the saying, “The future is female”.

No doubt, we love strong, empowered, dirt shredding, Krav Maga ass kicking women who are 100% feminine all the time around here at Casa McKay. Those who know our family best have seen it first-hand.

But naturally, we’re also still about strong, empowered, 100% masculine men. We love you, man.

So I boldly proclaim to you that the future is male, also.

To be clear, it’s not like the future is male instead of female. The future isn’t genderless, either. Indeed, the future is both male and female, just as the entire history of humanity up to this point has inherently been.

Yes, we as men are collectively treating women better than ever before, as we should, and that trend will continue. Meanwhile, men and women can, should and will continue to make valuable contributions to society, and indeed to each other.

Since masculinity and femininity are indelibly tied to gender and procreation, that also means sexual polarity itself is not a zero-sum game. I mean, think of the stark irony of that very concept. We as men are, by Intelligent Design, about one half of the population. Regardless of what you may have heard that’s unlikely to change. Therefore, it’s logically untenable to think men are somehow irrelevant nowadays and going forward.

Yet, we’ve arrived at a moment in history where we’re met with a constant barrage of virtue signalling messages telling us as men we’re in the way of progress and perhaps even collectively “on the wrong side of history”. We’re exhorted to “do better”, without ever acknowledging the possibility that we might have some virtue already tucked away somewhere.

We’re told our innate masculinity is “toxic”, even at times by other men themselves. But as much as some try to root around in the dark for valid alternatives, often with ostensibly decent intentions, we aren’t given any.

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A Dating Coach’s Take On Why Mass Shootings Happen

I don’t consider myself a world expert in sociology, abnormal psychology or criminal justice. Nor am I sworn to the political right or left.

Given the conversation at hand, all of that might be an advantage in my case. At the very least, I have no problem “opening a can” on the conversation about the mass-shooting problem that nobody seems to be having. Whether that’s a can of worms or whoop-ass is for you to decide.

But either way, I’m not about to pretend I’ve figured out any definitive solution to such a complex issue. Rather, I’m simply about to present what has occurred to me naturally as a man who is immersed in the art and science of social dynamics and male/female relationships on a daily basis.

As such, the entire purpose of this post is to open the discussion among rational people who think for themselves. That means if you’ve been successfully propagandized by either the Right or the Left, prepare to be pissed off.

Remarkable stuff starts happening when one thinks for him or herself. I would love to have finished this piece sooner, but it’s been one of those posts where I’ve kept getting haunted by new and intriguing ideas even when I’m trying to think about something else.

I mean, by now my wife Emily has grown accustomed to me leaping out of bed in the night, all but sprinting to my computer with a spring in my step and a light bulb glowing over my head. But this time it has all been kicked it up a notch. Just last night I found myself driving home from the gym repeating “there’s a cause…pipe bomb…masculine self-fulfilling prophecy” over and over in my head so the spontaneous ideas wouldn’t evaporate before I managed to get home.

But the time has come. On with this crucial discussion.

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15 Things No Man Should EVER Say

Scot and Emily Most of my online research on the subject du jour uncovered articles by angry women whose baseline vitriol toward men was barely concealed under the surface. Predictably, the vast majority were specifically about what men should never say to women in particular.

I found myself ~~reading~~ enduring endless rants over purely innocent, and in many cases ostensibly innocuous (e.g. “you look beautiful tonight”) alleged mistakes by men who meant well, it’s just that they were apparently ill-equipped to read angry women’s minds Said angry women, in turn not able to read men’s minds, therefore assumed the worst, of course.

Yeah, well…if you’re at all worried this is going to be that kind of post, save your brain cells. I’m not an angry woman, nor have I been hanging out with any lately who could theoretically influence my thoughts.

Rather, this is a man-to-man post with the well-meaning brotherly intention of saving guys from clearly demonstrating they have zero skill with women whatsoever.

That means I’ll be sparing you any semblance of politically correct regurgitation, including but not limited to “dog-whistling” or “virtue signalling”. That said, I make no apologies for “triggering” anyone. After all, Job One here is watching out for your best interests as a man who loves women.

So let’s get on with it, already.

And by the way, I’m not limiting the list to what we should never say to women per se. What follows is a more pure rendering of what should never be said by a man period.

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What Have We Replaced The Seduction Community With?

Shocked By Sex What’s truly bizarre to me is guys who have been working on getting better with women for less than, say, five years (therefore, the vast majority) have probably never even heard of The Seduction Community.

Essentially, it’s a lot like how my sixteen year-old daughter has no idea who Sam Kinison is.

So for the sake of clarity, what was The Seduction Community?

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5 Weird Things That Happen To Men After Sex

Shocked By Sex Knowing you’ve grown accustomed to mostly serious dating and relationship advice around here, I’ve been thinking it’s time to take a break and look at the lighter side.

And what better way to take ourselves less seriously than to turn our attention to sex? More specifically, let’s talk about the strange, crazy things that happen to us as guys after “doing the deed”.

I’ve rattled off five such weird phenomena below, right off the top of my head. In doing so, I quickly realized that I’ve never heard any of these talked about publicly…ever. Yet, I’m 100% sure I can’t possibly be alone in experiencing them.

So here we go… Gentlemen, can you relate to any or all of these, or am I some special sort of “basket case”?

And ladies…did you ever in your wildest dreams realize any of this was going on?

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Why Approaching Women Is So Puzzling

Putting The Pieces Together We’ve done ourselves a disservice by assuming that each situation where we’re approaching a woman is going to be identical to any other.

But who can really blame us? It seems as if everything we’ve ever read on the subject prepares us for interactions with beautiful but bitchy women, who are typically saturated with “bothersome” male attention and are therefore eager to reject us.

Well, it’s time to tell the truth, once and for all.

The bold reality is that whenever you approach a woman, you’ve got a puzzle to figure out.

And each given scenario will have a unique solution because each woman is different.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that if you somehow have fallen into a pattern of encountering ONLY bitchy women who are eager to reject you, the solution might just involve looking in the mirror.

For what it’s worth, that’s good news. That means the future is under your control.

Remember, women follow your lead. Anytime you’re confronted with the same negative reaction repeatedly, the only conclusion that can reasonably be drawn is that you’ve somehow led.

I realize that isn’t easy to hear. Nevertheless, it should empower you. Here’s why.

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6 Foolproof Ways To Make Your Male Unit Delicious To Women

Is There A Party In Your Pants? Yesterday something happened that was at the very least amazing, even though it may signal the impending end of the universe as we know it.

It all started when I happened across a bizarre, weird post written by a woman named Holly Jean way back in April on a blog called http://www.myfatpocket.com. It had about thirty comments at the time.

The title? “How To Make Your Vagina Smell And Taste Delicious”.

Leave it to me, a dating coach, to post it to my Facebook Page with the innocuous caption, “Here’s a topic you don’t see covered every day.”

I didn’t think anything of it, but when I came back to check the page about ten minutes before writing this it had run up over 300,000 views, 850 comments, 700 likes and over 200 shares.

Basically the thing went viral and people are having an absolute BLAST talking about it.

One particularly intuitive comment jumped off the page and whacked me in the head, however. It read, simply: “Would cause some outrage if an article titled ‘How To Make Your D*ick Taste Delicious’ came up.” It had fifty likes already.

I instinctively knew such a piece HAD to be written, and that I was the guy who both had a vested interest in it and was crazy enough to do it. After all, it really is kind of a GREAT topic. I mean, how many guys have ever had a significant other who wasn’t particularly excited about giving oral?

So bring on the “outrage”. Here are six fast, surefire ways to make your unit FAR more palatable:

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12 Things Some Guys Do, Mistakenly Thinking They’re Cool

Let’s have some fun today.

Recently I got into a discussion with a few friends—some female, no less—on the subject of what guys who decidedly don’t “get it” are like.

Essentially, it quickly became a referendum on coolness, particularly in the eyes of women.

As you might imagine it turned out to be a truly fascinating conversation. As such, I felt compelled to share the finer points of it with you.

Recalling what was said, I’ve made a list of a dozen major missteps guys make in the name of being cool which typically result in women thinking the exact OPPOSITE about them.

But before I get on a roll ranting about them all, there are at least three points that deserve to be made.

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Do You Really Have A “Porn Problem”?

Seductive, Isn't It? What I’m about to share with you comes after months of consideration, countless conversations with real guys everywhere and yes…a final decision that despite how controversial my thoughts are going to be to some, this post really NEEDS to be written.

Here’s the thing. I get a lot of messages from guys on the subject of porn.

Typically, they’re worried that they have a very real problem in their life because they’re watching it. They wonder if it’s scarring them for life, disjointing their views of women or even “robbing them of masculine power”. They’re concerned that if any woman they ever go out with finds out about it, she’ll drop them like a hot potato.

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What The Heck Is A Man’s “Feminine Side”, Anyway?

What Does 'Getting In Touch With Your Feminine Side' Mean?
First of all, before we get into this you have to know how impossible it was to find a decent pic to go along with this post. Just about every potential image I initially thought would be clever turned out to be nothing short of creepy.

Maybe there’s no coincidence there. Perhaps talking about men as having a “feminine side” is inherently creepy to begin with, it’s just that nobody dares say anything because the idea of “getting in touch with one’s feminine side” has become such a cliché over the years.

And like most clichés, people tend to use that particular one conveniently when it seems to fit the situation…without really giving much thought to it.

But what in the world does it MEAN for a man to “get in touch with his feminine side”? And is it a good thing to do so? Geez…do we even HAVE a “feminine side”?

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