Okay, hopefully all the guys know by now to keep their shirts on for their online dating pics. And to not post pictures that look like they’re about to kill someone. And to avoid pics taken at strip clubs.
And in the interest of equal time, I’m sure women know by now not to go with the “Glamour Shot”, more pictures of the cat than of themselves, close-cropped face shots and/or anything blurry.
But what can we use as a yardstick for measuring good pictures? We’re usually left to the process of elimination here, aren’t we?
In coaching calls lately I’ve been describing the quintessentially perfect online dating profile pic as “warm, yet confident”. One woman–at a loss for what that actually looks like–asked for examples. Going through my “archives” for suitable examples was a very real “proof-of-concept” moment, as I realized that nearly all of the women who had caught my attention online–including Emily–had primary photos that captured exactly what I was talking about. So, I sent her some.
From there, realizing that this “warm yet confident” concept was truly on-point, my imagination was thereby tuned in to the concept. But the question remained as to what exactly to tell someone to get him or her into the proper mindset to produce some winning photos.
Shortly thereafter, while evaluating some software online, I got the proverbial 2×4 upside the head.
It happened when I saw a graphic advertising “live customer assistance”. Ironically, I even have very similar graphics here in the X & Y Communications web universe, but had still managed to overlook the obvious. Yet, the truth is crystal clear once one’s eyes are opened to it: Virtually every picture on the web of a headphone-wearing customer service agent–guy or girl–would make an outstanding online profile pic. Just rip the blasted headphones off and they would be all set.
Why is this the case? Well, any such pic almost always shows a warm, confident individual. Sure, the people in such photos are often good-looking, but not always “off the charts” hott by any stretch. Nevertheless, they typically come off as very attractive–in the literal sense. We are drawn in.
This is all by design.
After all, what’s the purpose of one of those “headphone pictures”? You got it…the idea is to get you to jump the fence, click the graphic, and start a conversation. If the person seems friendly, easy to talk to and as if they wouldn’t laugh at us for having dumb questions…we’re more likely to take the plunge and talk.
Moreover, if that same person appears to look as if he or she is likely to have the answer we’re looking for, so much the better. And nothing demonstrates the clear possibility of competence than an aura of confidence.
So let’s bring the concept full-circle. Just what is the point of your online dating profile pictures? Exactly–the point is to encourage people to contact you. In many ways, therefore, the goal is ultmately the same as that of online sites with customer service agents.
So why not take a lesson from their collective marketing savvy and put it to work for you: When you take some shots for your online dating profile, ask your self “WWCSD?” (“What Would Customer Service Do?”)
My guess is that such a mindset–as “unorthodox” as it may sound–will bring you ridiculously positive results. It certainly can’t hurt.
Strangely enough, if you look at the X & Y Communcations “Team Page” you could probably slap headphones on both Emily and I and we’d pretty much be instantly transformed into credible customer service agents. As fortune would have it, both her pic and mine on that page began life as–yes–our respective primary pics on Match.com. Go figure.
For more revolutionary and proven ways to take your online dating success to the ultimate level, be sure to take a close look at Online Dating Domination. Guys, that’s the plan for becoming the most successful guy in your entire metro area on any dating site of your choice. And ladies, Emily’s got a similar plan for you coming very, very soon. Stay tuned.
Be Good,
Scot
