August 2008 – The Official Blog Of Scot McKay

Three Tips For Guys Who Are Starting Out

In today’s post I’m going to try to break down some of the things that I did when I was starting out on this journey that I believe helped me out.

First, I recommend getting some friends/wingmen who are also along this journey.

I met 4 guys early on after I joined a forum. These guys were also from Sydney, and didn’t have that creepy vibe that many guys in the community give out. The advantage of having friends who are on the same, or similar, path as you is that you have someone to just vent with, someone who can push you, and someone you can just chill with.

It is possible to take this journey on your own, but its a hell of a lot more fun when you have like minded guys coming with you. A good place to meet like minded individuals is on www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum or on the forums at www.pickuppodcast.com where they have a whole section dedicated to finding wingmen.

My second tip was actually given to me by one of my wingmen. Write a blog. There are many places where you can go to write a blog, www.blogspot.com is one example.

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The Leading Man: Web Site Is LIVE

After pulling several “all nighters” this week, the all-new web site for The Leading Man has been launched.

About a week ago, I let you in on some of the very basic details in this blog post.

Now, you can find out what all is included–in detail–and even get four killer video tips on relationship management when you log in that you can start using right now.

Here’s the site:

The Leading Man

Take a look, and enjoy the videos. By the way, I’m going to have some cool surprise bonuses for those who get on my information list.

After all, life is way too short to have a “revolving door” of women in and out of your life. Pickup skills carry you through the first ten minutes. Relationship management is forever.

Whether you want to date multiple women, identify and attract the greatest woman you’ve ever met, become the leader who “wears the pants” in your relationships or all of the above…The Leading Man is the complete system designed to get you to exactly where you want to be.

So take a look at the site, and be sure to share your feedback.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

Be a Social Leader in One Easy Step

In my journey through pickup I’ve found this whole thing is more about learning social leadership than anything else.

One thing we all have in common is we are leaders.

If we weren’t leaders we would settle for what we get like everyone else does. Today I’d like to help you assume your role as social leader among your friends in one easy step. Are you nervous?

Don’t be. This is really easy.

Being a social leader isn’t dominating the conversation, talking too much, or acting like a jerk to your friends.

Rather being a social leader is that fun guy (or gal) who brings something to the lives of those around them.

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Five Ways To Get Women To Approach You

This Is Not What I'm Talking About Here’s a question I get all the time: “Hey Scot, how do I know when a woman is interested in me? And how can I get women to approach me first?”

Okay, that’s actually two questions. But you get the point.

Well, we all know that women are typically subtle creatures. They aren’t often going to come whack you upside the melon with a 2×4 and announce, “Hey stoopid…I’m into you.”

On second thought, maybe in certain parts of Brooklyn and/or Queens that could happen. And having gone to school in downtown Filthydelphia, I might have to make an exception there also.

But I digress.

Even though most guys habitually miss women’s subtle indicators of interest, all is not lost. In fact, this post is dedicated to lazy guys everywhere who want to hit the “easy button” and bypass all of the Chick Whispering altogether.

Here, at long last, are five bona-fide ways you can get women to approach you for a change.

Let’s get on with it…

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The Top Ten Places On Earth To Take A Woman

Paris At Night Rocks We’ve talked before about the importance of going on a “road trip” with someone you’ve met recently and think you might really like.

I’m on record as seeing this as a valid test of compatibility.

But lately, I’ve begun to think that perhaps a friggin’ long flight might be just as good an environment for seeing how well you two really get along as a weekend’s worth of “windshield time”.

Maybe.

If you can combine the two, even better.

With that in mind, here’s my top ten list of the most killer trips on Earth to take with a woman. They’re in no particular order because it’s too tough to decide which is the best. Besides, it depends on the mood you’re in and what time of year it is, right?

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Relationship Management: The Leading Man

There’s no shortage of pickup training. In fact, it seems that just about every dating guru out there is puzzling over how to find a new twist on teaching it.

Meanwhile, there is a vast emptiness when it comes to solid information on what is arguably the most significant skill there is when it comes to being effective with women. Ironic, isn’t it?

That skill is relationship management.

Sure, you’ve got to know how to meet a woman before you can build a relationship with her.

But the pickup stage is over in a flash. Relationship management is what makes or breaks your overall success with women. Few would question the importance of getting it right.

But the fact remains that most of us get to the first date and are left with empty pockets when it comes to “what to do next”.

As a result, women drop out of our lives after only a few dates (if that)…and we never even know what happened. For some guys this “revolving door of women” is even more the rule than the exception–many never having been able to hold on to any relationship for more than a month or two, max.

If you can relate to what I’m saying, you know it’s one of the most frustrating feelings imaginable. You are excited about meeting a woman and even more so once you succeed at attracting her. Then…nothing. It all disappears before your very eyes, sometimes in a flash.

Well, that’s all about to change. It’s time to get control and discover how to be a quarterback instead of the waterboy. This is about making your own decisions about how long a woman is going to be in your life…or not.

You’ve been telling me for months that you want to get better at managing your relationships with women…be they multiple or exclusive, long- or short-term. And you’ve been telling me you want to know exactly how to go about dating many women to find one great one.

The Leading Man, to be released on September 13th, will be that complete system for managing relationships–on your terms, and on your timeline.

I’ll be giving you more details shortly. But for now, make sure you are on my newsletter list if this program interests you at all. You can use the form at the bottom of this post to sign up.

This is mission critical because I will be offering a pre-launch discount and a free copy of my forthcoming book Chick Whispering to those on my list exclusively.

Incidentally, Chick Whispering was inspired by The Chick Whisperer podcast and is all about how to understand women and succeed with them as a direct result. And it’s also made of unobtanium between now and 2009…unless you are on my list and get in on the pre-launch offer for The Leading Man.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

Rejection And The Rules Of Approach [Part Two]

As promised in Part One, let me give you an example from my Saturday night.

One group was sitting awkwardly at the bar, in a big circle they made with a bunch of meathead looking guys to their right. I could not tell if they were friends or not.

One other girl looked completely miserable, while her friend was completely coddled by a guy. Yet another girl gave me a huge long up and down look then she went to the bar and was nearly lying on it talking to the bartender.

A second group, well they all had on rings and then their husbands came over.

In another group was a cute bunch of girls who just walked in, and were smiling and laughing.

Now, I was hoping the band would take a break soon because it was simply way too hard to talk. I had surveyed my options, and it was almost like a fun version of “musical chairs”.

So back to group one. They were sitting weirdly at the bar and one guy seemed to have a girlfriend in the group. I said, “Let’s walk around, they are not going anywhere for a bit.”

Now I have no problem approaching a group with guys but I like to study it a bit before deciding on a plan. Basically I look for wedding bands, really drunk guys or girls in the group, or an argumentative group.

Once talking to them, a key I look for is if the girls are kinda interested when talking to them, with matching body language. When I see that, I know I have an opportunity to open the group and basically just begin talking.

Continue reading “Rejection And The Rules Of Approach [Part Two]”

Rejection And The Rules Of Approach [Part One]

Two limiting beliefs come to mind for me in night game, and any time overall, really.

These involve rejection and the so-called rules of approach. Too many times we wrap ourselves up in both of these things with certain stigmas and beliefs and end up adding way too much to the whole thing.

Rejection: In my opinion, rejection is your greatest tool to learn how to move forward. Yet, society shows and tells a different story.

We have seen it, right? Guy goes up to girl, drink is thrown. This is so rare in reality, but guys really do think it will happen.

More realistic is this scenario. Guy talks to girl, girl blows off guy. Guy goes and complains about it to his buddies, they say, “Well you tried.” Guy goes home and feels self pity and complains more…to himself.

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Chick Whisperer #23 — BONUS: Meet The Six New Coaches (Plus Special Surprises)

This time I’ve got a special bonus episode of The Chick Whisperer for you.

If you’ve been hanging around here at the blog for the past couple of weeks (i.e. “been around the blog a few times”), you’ve already gotten acquainted with our six newest members of the X & Y Communications Team. Actually, based on the number of e-mails and blog comments we’ve seen so far, I’d say you’re response has been very positive.

With that in mind, the newest show features interviews with all six of the new coaches. Having read their posts, now you’ll get a chance to hear what they’ve got to say in their own words. Along with a brief introduction, you’ll discover where they’ve come from and where they are today with regard to their success with women. Most importantly, you’ll also get their vision of the future–including what they’ll be focusing on in terms of blog posts and even live seminar instruction.

So instead of one co-host this time, I’ve actually got six.

But I’ve also thrown in a few more surprises for you this time ’round, including the formal announcement of the next major X & Y Communications project on relationship management.

There’s also some decidedly edgy stuff at the beginning that you’re probably not used to outta me.

All that’s long for “don’t miss this episode”. Subscribe and download on iTunes using any of the graphics on this post. If you do, please also leave us a review in support of the show if you would. That helps us greatly in the rankings.

If you’re not on iTunes, you can subscribe via the feed here.

Finally if you haven’t already, sign up for the newsletter and get the special bonus video collection called “Coolness Personified” I’ve been mentioning on the show. It’s free, of course.

Be Good,

Scot

Sexual Chocolate

You Know You Want Some, Ladies Despite its provocative title, this post actually has nothing to do with the classic Eddie Murphy reference from Coming To America.

Rather, there was a comment on the forum by Recce_God31 that I found so intriguing that I wanted to answer it here. The context is online dating secrets:

You want me to reveal MY SECRETS… well ok…. lol

I don’t recall the exact time I started using it but I had been noticing that many girls would mention it in their profiles so I just started using it verbatim.

What is this topic you ask? Its chocolate!! I can’t say I’ve ever met a girl that doesn’t enjoy eating chocolate. In my initial contact I will usually make a comment about her profile or ask a “serious” question. Then I try a have a funny segue into finding out if she is a fan of chocolate and what type is her favorite. I estimate that I get about an 70-80% response rate, I should start keeping a record of its performance.

Scot, why do you think this? Maybe Emily could shed some light on the subject. I would love to hear her opinion.

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How To Deserve What You Want By Being Yourself

The concept of deserving what you want is the fundamental one in this community. But let me ask you a question. How do you understand this concept?

See, some time ago I caught myself thinking that I constantly worked on developing myself in order to deserve great women in my life. Like an athlete preparing for a competition, or a soldier getting ready for a war.

I thought to myself: “Just do one more thing (whatever it was), and I’ll be ready to meet quality women out there!”

And by doing this I was, in fact, staying in my flat most of the time. Not meeting women, not having dates, not enjoying women’s company…because I thought I was not good enough yet to meet them!

And this was a big mistake on my part…

I remember how my friend once said to me: “It is much easier to get what you really want then what you think you can get.” But the thing is that most people go for what they think they can get. So there is a lot of competition for mediocrity, for the second best.

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