talking to women – The Official Blog Of Scot McKay

X & Y Communications Coach Austin Parker For the longest time I was frustrated. I wanted people to take an interest in me. After all I thought I was interesting. I had just returned to the states after two years living abroad. I thought I was a master conversationalist with the most interesting topic in the world: Me.

Little did I know I was ignoring the needs of everyone I met. It turns out they didn’t want to talk about me. They wanted to talk about themselves.

Then I learned the trick to connecting with people is to take an interest in them. There are specific ways to do this and today I will share them with you. Without further ado, I present:

Universal Conversational Skills (i.e. the ones that work with anyone, anywhere)

1) Ask open ended questions

An open ended question is something you can’t answer with just a yes or a no. If you ask someone, “Do you like this place?” you are inviting a yes or no answer. Unfortunately this doesn’t give much to go on. “What do you like about this place?” is a better one. When I ask a leading question I always try to emphasize the positive. It works.

Continue reading “Universal Conversation Skills: Talk To Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere”

I always wondered how to approach and start a conversation with the attractive women I would meet on the street, in a supermarket, or in a coffee shop.

At first, I felt that initial excitement arising within me, but this excitement quickly turned into a paralytic fear…Have you ever felt this paralyzing, soul-freezing fear?

Hot on the trail of this fear, a string of thoughts would emerge—‘I don’t know what to say!’ or ‘What will she think of me?’—followed by images of her rejecting you, telling you to ‘get lost!’ and people around laughing at your humiliation.

I, for one, have surely felt it!

Finally, you might either psyche yourself to approach her or find a seemingly ‘good’ excuse to justify why you aren’t approaching her, such as ‘She’s way above my league’, ‘I’m not dressed for the occasion’, ‘Maybe next time–I’m in a hurry’, or ‘She’s not hot enough for me’.

Reasons for this so-called approach anxiety are many, and they are mainly due to social conditioning and our own negative experiences of the past. Let’s not explore these reasons any further—this has already been done repeatedly in many sources! I’d rather give you some practical advice on how to overcome this anxiety, from what I learnt through my own experiences of talking to about 1,000 women over the past 5 years, as well as what I have learnt from the vast experience of my friends.

Continue reading “How To Approach Naturally Without Fear”