In my journey through pickup I’ve found this whole thing is more about learning social leadership than anything else.
One thing we all have in common is we are leaders.
If we weren’t leaders we would settle for what we get like everyone else does. Today I’d like to help you assume your role as social leader among your friends in one easy step. Are you nervous?
Don’t be. This is really easy.
Being a social leader isn’t dominating the conversation, talking too much, or acting like a jerk to your friends.
Rather being a social leader is that fun guy (or gal) who brings something to the lives of those around them.
I always wondered how to approach and start a conversation with the attractive women I would meet on the street, in a supermarket, or in a coffee shop.
At first, I felt that initial excitement arising within me, but this excitement quickly turned into a paralytic fear…Have you ever felt this paralyzing, soul-freezing fear?
Hot on the trail of this fear, a string of thoughts would emerge—‘I don’t know what to say!’ or ‘What will she think of me?’—followed by images of her rejecting you, telling you to ‘get lost!’ and people around laughing at your humiliation.
I, for one, have surely felt it!
Finally, you might either psyche yourself to approach her or find a seemingly ‘good’ excuse to justify why you aren’t approaching her, such as ‘She’s way above my league’, ‘I’m not dressed for the occasion’, ‘Maybe next time–I’m in a hurry’, or ‘She’s not hot enough for me’.
Reasons for this so-called approach anxiety are many, and they are mainly due to social conditioning and our own negative experiences of the past. Let’s not explore these reasons any further—this has already been done repeatedly in many sources! I’d rather give you some practical advice on how to overcome this anxiety, from what I learnt through my own experiences of talking to about 1,000 women over the past 5 years, as well as what I have learnt from the vast experience of my friends.
It’s no secret that we’ve been talking a lot about “phone game” around here recently.
Not only is the latest Power Session devoted to it, the latest X & Y Communications newsletter was also.
In that newsletter, we highlighted an e-mail question sent in by Brendan in California about finding the balance between calling a woman too little and too much.
Now as you know by now, not being “underground” has its advantages. Women not only tend to like what we tell guys about improving their skills with them, they also tend to get on my newsletter list and stay there.
Most claim that they enjoy reading about themselves from a guy’s perspective and/or regard the information as a guide to how to identify great men out there. Interesting, no doubt…either way.
Best of all, I often hear from the women on the list. Ever so often I even have the good fortune to open an e-mail from a woman that really offers some additional “insider information”.
About ten minutes ago, I received just such an email from Karen in Portland. In it she talks about her own “phone game” experiences. This “first-person” perspective is absolutely golden.
But the real gift to each and every guy reading this blog is her tandem of “Top 10 Lists” dealing with female reactions to calls from guys. Priceless.
Will you agree that everything she says is universally transferrable? Maybe, maybe not. But we all would do well to treat her message as a valid case study.
And this time I’m going to talk about pickup strategy. Yes, even in the world of character-based seduction it’s absolutely still crucial to have game when approaching women.
Amazingly, I’ve never seen or heard the subject of this video talked about. Here’s a hint: It’s not always “what to say next” (which I’m asked about constantly) but HOW to say it.
Be sure to watch the entire vid, though, because just for good measure I’m going to share with you a simple four-word phrase that you actually CAN use verbatim which helps you master the key principle of this video until it becomes habit…and beyond.
And ladies, all of this is golden for you also.
So what do you have to say about all of this? Leave your comments…I don’t ask for those nearly enough around here.
Next time, we’ll have real-life demo of how (and how not) to write first-emails to the absolute sharpest women online. Don’t miss it.
BTW, how’s your phone game coming along these days? And text messaging…is it helping you or hurting you out there? This month’s Power Sessions For Men program is an hour and twenty minutes of non-stop practical info on “Telecom Game”. What’s the hot phone set-up for success with women? How do you handle getting numbers and then putting those numbers to good use? How do you handle voice mail? And what’s the right way to handle phone conversations with women you are already seeing on a regular basis? Best of all I give you step-by-step tutorial on how exactly to make women incredibly worked up (in the best way possible) over the phone. As for texting, I’ll show you how not to ruin a perfectly good relationship with text messaging (like so many guys do) along with world-championship caliber text flirting strategy.
There’s more but that last paragraph was already too long. Just click here for all the info on Power Sessions. Or, I’ll give you the “Telecom Game” Power Session for free with any purchase as a one-month trial membership.
I finally got my act together and released Episode #18 of The Chick Whisperer podcast last night. This must mean we’re “legal”. Were things only that uncomplicated…LOL
My co-host for this one is my good friend Frank B. Kermit. Frank and I have something in common. We’re each married to our own respective version of the greatest woman we’ve ever met.
So we got together, answered one of your voicemails and proceeded to throw down on the subject of having complete, total control over your world when it comes to women. You may need a shot or two of good ol’ Patron Silver after you hear what we’ve got in store for you.
After all, it’s time to stop listening to the hype over what someone else thinks you should want from your relationships with women and make your own decisions from a position of strength.
And check it out–you have more options than you think. It’s time to man up and exercise them. Guys like Frank and I have your back all the while, no doubt.
So getchasum. In fact, if you hit the graphic above and “subscribe” on iTunes that would rule…especially if you leave us a review. It’s YOU the listeners who have moved us up the charts again into a firm spot on the front page in our iTunes category. Right on.
And don’t forget, I have a special unsyndicated bonus episode with Brent Smith tucked away for newsletter subscribers. Get on board at www.thechickwhisperer.com .
In my journey through pickup I’ve found this whole thing is more about learning social leadership than anything else.
I always wondered how to approach and start a conversation with the attractive women I would meet on the street, in a supermarket, or in a coffee shop.
