Everyone knows that bringing wingwomen along when you go out for a night on the town can have an amazing positive effect. Social proof. Female intuition. People buying on the approval of others. Outstanding stuff.
But wait a minute. All of this assumes you aren’t actually out on a real date yet. What if you could have the benefit of wingwomen even when you are out on a “solo flight” with a woman? Unthinkable?
Guess again.
The concept I want to introduce to you is one I call “Embedded Wingwomen”. Don’t get any preconceived notions–we’re not talking about “in-bedding” your “wingwoman” here. This is probably even better.
In fact, I’m indebted to one of my favorite business authors here. Harvey MacKay wrote nearly 20 years ago now (How To Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive, p.66) on how you as a businessman can “Create Your Own Private Club” for the purpose of entertaining customers. And you can do so at just about any nice restaurant of your choosing.
How so? Simple. You pay the restaurant (or bar, or lounge, etc.) a visit during it’s lowest hour. Think three o’clock in the afternoon if you have a restaurant in mind. During this visit, you meet the manager and explain to him or her what you have in mind. Essentially, you offer your credit card number and a signed slip ahead of your actual planned visit with the customers in tow. You then ask to be welcomed by name, and that your guest be welcomed by name as “Mr./Ms. X”, and that you are assigned a particularly effective full-time member of the waitstaff who is perceived to carry job stability, and preferably a regular schedule. Then you pre-approve a 25% gratuity.
When you arrive, you entertain your guests with the “red carpet treatment” extended throughout the night. When finished, you get up and leave. No waiting around, no drama. And most importantly no check.
And since you are a man or woman of your word, the next time around goes even more smoothly. A relationship is established. And you have essentially accomplished what Harvey has taught you.
Masterful stuff.
But this isn’t a business blog. We’re talking attraction and seduction here. And granted, it’s slicker than snake snot to apply Harvey’s exact principle to the dating world. Most definitely…but not until you’re sure that one’s a keeper, please.
So here’s how I adapted the principle and gave it a new twist when I was going on a LOT of first dates.
I had several very key places I enjoyed taking women to. I made it a point to build relationships with management and with very key female employees. Again…full-timers with regular schedules (which I made note of). I served notice to all of the above that I was more than happy to take care of them if they took care of me. Having built the first-name relationship using, frankly, much of that same old common-sense rapport building stuff we’re taught to use with attractive MOTOS, the die is cast.
Returning later with a woman, my new friend is behind the bar as expected. She greets me by name. Later, after a few laughs, I send my date to the bar for another round…or whatever. It’s then that my “embedded wingwoman” tells my date how hot/great/generous/cool/etc. I am. The comments are unsolicited, of course. The best part of this is that she’s telling the truth. I have indeed been nothing less than hot/great/generous/cool/etc. towards her in setting up the whole thing.
So my date returns to me with an extra measure curiosity and perhaps attraction. I actually witnessnessed measurable demeanor changes directly correlated to this effect more times than I could keep count of.
But that’s not where it ends. The next trip to the bar I’d make myself. That’s when I’d get a second or two of oh-so valuable female feedback on my date. Was she cool to the bartender, who she wasn’t trying to impress? Priceless.
And again, with each subsequent visit after having lived up to your own end of the bargain, things get better and better…and more amazing for the women you are with.
In one particularly glorious situation, I made friends with a particularly outgoing bisexual bartender at what is perhaps the most romantic “PDA bar” in the city of San Antonio.
BTW, every man needs a “PDA bar” on his radar screen. If that concept isn’t self-explanatory, e-mail me for some coaching immediately.
Anyway, I got to the point where I’d sit at the bar with a woman and simply excuse myself to the restroom for a blessed few minutes. By the time I returned, I was set to soon receive a report on more “dimensions of compatibility” than eHarmony could shake a stick at.
As you can see, the principle is actually a fairly simple one.
Be Good,
Scot
Ha…
Have you ever noticed that a lot of the old school books on sales and direct marketing resemble much of what the “dating” community talks about.
positions of authority
social proof
reciprocity
congruence
scarcity
Interesting, huh?