For this fourth and final installment in our series on breakups, we’re going to deal specifically with what may be the absolute most difficult situation that anyone who is single ever has to face: breaking off a relationship that has gone on for a long time.
For the sake of clarity here at the beginning, this post is not about how to deal with divorce. As originally stated back in Part One, the concept of ending married relationships is replete with it’s own set of complications and therefore will be considered a wholly separate subject above and beyond what this series has been designed to cover. We’ll limit this particular conversation to ending long-term dating relationships.
So to kick this all off, let’s get a handle on exactly what such long-term dating relationships might look like.
There are as many reasons why two people would remain together for a long time as there are grains of sand on the beach, really. Some long-term relationships are casual or even “off and on” gigs that have carried on for months or even years, no doubt. And as long as both partners are honest and remain uncommitted to anyone else on a monogamous basis, this can be fine for everyone involved, of course.
But clearly, when one partner finds someone else OTHER than the casual partner whom he or she wants to be monogamous with, such casual relationships should end. But man is it difficult to simply cut ties with someone who has been there for so long, even on an offhand basis.
Truly, for many such a scenario represents “crunch time” insofar as deciding what it is he or she wants in life. Is it going to be to have a casual long-term relationship (or several), or go for stability with one person long-term? Unless an open long-term relationship with a primary partner is an option for you, you’ve got to be comfortable with “retirement” from casual dating if you decide to become monogamous with someone. Otherwise, your integrity (and your character, which is one of the “Big Four”, remember) goes down the drain.
The problem with this whole scenario is that when long-term casual relationships end, it often comes out that one partner actually was holding onto unspoken hopes for something more.
Continue reading “Dealing With Breakups: Ending A Long-Term Relationship [Part Four Of Four]”