Meet Terry MacDonald.
She’s a new friend of ours and like most “lady gurus” whom we consider to be our favorites, she is all about the dating success of both women AND men. Our list is a short one, and we really have no idea why that is.
But nonetheless, we think you’ll like what Terry has to say as much as we do. I hand-selected this recent piece from her called “Flirting 101 (For Men And Women)” because I think it captures her matter-of-fact but very humorous style.
Enjoy!
Do you get tongue-tied when you meet a person of the opposite sex? Or when you’re meeting people for the first time?
I did. Being shy gave me a reputation for being a snob, being “hard to reach,” and worst of all, “having a superior attitude.” Whether you’re a man or a woman, it’s hardly the image you hope to project when you want to make a love match or even a new friend.
I met a woman who taught me a thing or two about looking approachable. One was to use my eyes when the right words locked up in my mouth. “It’s all in the eyes,” this master flirt said, and she’d never suffered a shortage of suitors, despite the fact that she was no Gisele Bundchen. Her boyish figure and the gap between her teeth discouraged nobody, though—people were drawn to her because of what she was saying with her eyes!
So I learned to convey interest in a guy with my eyes, even if I couldn’t think of a pertinent response. I also learned to smile with my eyes, instead of merely turning up the corners of my mouth (smiling is so important; why oh why do people neglect to do it?).
If shyness isn’t your problem, speaking with your eyes is also the antidote to speaking too much with your mouth. I’ve heard it said that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason, and face it, good listeners often come off as brilliant conversationalists. Bonus: By listening carefully, you get to really know the person you’re interested in and figure out whether he or she’s worth your time.
The master flirt also taught me to lose the turtlenecks I liked to wear and replace them with V-neck blouses. Little did I know, turtlenecks can make the neck look short, and they give some wearers a double chin. So, if you’re a woman, wear a blouse in a flattering shade and keep the top two buttons open. If you’re a guy, go with a v-neck. The goal is to give that neck of yours a little exposure. It suggests vulnerability, which is attractive. It’s also sexy.The tip to show neck may sound elementary if you’re a woman and already wearing down-to-there necklines, but displaying too much skin is even worse than showing too little: You’ll attract the very men you want to avoid. Oh, and if you’re a guy, remove the baseball cap, please! Who cares if you’re bald? Get rid of it. A bare head is so much more attractive than a baseball cap (or, worse, a cap with your mechanic’s logo on it!).
Now that you know how to make yourself approachable, it’s time for the next step: To get out and meet somebody.
Want more no-nonsense stuff from Terry? Terry MacDonald is the happily married author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams, which is right in line with Emily’s new Click With Him program for women.
You ladies out there can sign up for free dating tips from her
And you have to check out her blog. Her recent post on Eliot Spitzer is nothing short of classic…she really hands it to him (deservedly). There’s also an excellent point about text messaging, which dovetails nicely with the telecom game we’ve been discussing lately.
Got some flirting strategies of your own to share? Give us your best.
Be Good,
Scot