The Official Blog Of Scot McKay
Deserve What You Want And Never, Ever Settle
Recently I received an e-mail from Matt, who has been hanging out with a woman who seems interested in hugging and holding hands…but not a whole lot more than that, if anything. Apparently, based on the letters I receive, this is a problem that lots of guys face at one point or another.
So what gives? Here’s the full message from Matt, along with my response:
Got any comments or stories to share? Let’s hear them!
Be Good,
Scot McKay
Ideally speaking, each of us should theoretically break up with everyone we ever date…except for one.
And as dark as it sounds, that’s actually a good thing.
I realize that reality isn’t always that uncomplicated, and believe me I have the track record to prove it. But I think you get my drift.
And here’s the deal: Provided you are the kind of person who is generally easy to get along with, and if you’ve had some practice at avoiding utterly poisonous MOTOS, then you are going to be faced with the inevitable: breaking up with someone who hasn’t really done you any harm whatsoever.
You’ve probably been there before already. You start dating someone who attracts you early on, but after some time has passed one of you has decided that he or she really isn’t “feeling it” anymore. Someone is starting to feel a pull towards freedom–or someone else–but this creates a genuinely awkward situation almost every time.
You see, most of us are decent, upstanding people who really don’t get off on trampling other people’s feelings. Especially people we sort of, well…like. Right?
So what happens is that when someone just “isn’t feeling it anymore” for whatever reason, things tend to drag on for longer than they rightly should–all in the name of “not hurting anyone”.
But protracting relationships that aren’t going anywhere only really leads to greater emotional drama down the road. It’s rather like sticking one’s head in the sand.
Case in point. One well-worn “exit strategy” is to tell the other person that he or she “needs some space” or even that they “should date other people”. Such euphemisms are universally code for, “I’m pretty much sick of you and want out, but I don’t know how to do that without completely flooring you.”
I see some of you nodding out there. Don’t shout me down for telling the truth.
As much as this particular topic is discussed, a part of me is surprised that what I talk about in the video below has NEVER been mentioned anywhere as far as I’ve seen.
We all know women cannot bring themselves to be attracted to Mr. Nice Guy. Yet it seems that Idiot/Jerks (or “I/Js”) practically never get the “JBF” talk. Perhaps the answer to why this tends to be the case has more to do with what women are like than with what the guys involved are like.
Push play below to see what I mean…
Next time, I’ll be posting Part Two of how to make your online profile narrative stand out from the rest.
Be Good,
Scot
