Interracial Dating: What to Do and What to Expect

The inspiration for this article came as I traced my personal evolution over the last 12 years. In 1997, I was forced to re-evaluate the lenses through which I viewed the world as I moved from the middle-class Cleveland suburb of my upbringing to the Ivy League where I encountered all races, cultures, and religions.

And whenever people mix, attraction happens.

What is “interracial”? I won’t get into biological or social constructs of race. For the purpose of this article, “interracial dating” refers to dating into a distinct cultural community other than one’s own. A white man dating an African- or Asian-American woman is dating interracially, but a white man dating a “fresh-off-the-boat” white woman from a closely-knit Eastern European immigrant community may experience more pronounced cultural differences.

Why date interracially? Examine your own motivations. Do women of other races fit your standard of beauty better than your own? Is it the lure of the exotic or forbidden? Is it the challenge of relating to a new group of people? Maybe more than one of the above, since the ideas of “self” and “outsider” are deeply ingrained into the human psyche. I won’t critique or psychoanalyze you, but you need to be honest with your own motivations, more on that below.

 

 

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How To Impress Your Vietnamese Date

Yesterday happened to be our first real “tax day” as X & Y Communications LLC, which was exacerbated by the fact that some myopic bonehead (namely me) decided that Power Sessions For Men programs should come out on the 15th of the month.

So with all of that now in the rear view mirror, I can’t think of a better time for a particularly lightweight blog post given all this talk about breakups lately.

Last night I got the kind of e-mail I particularly love to read: Someone else is succeeding at online dating more than ever before.

This time, a guy wrote me attaching the profile of a particularly attractive hottie who happens to be Vietnamese. And wow, she seems full of life, energy, compassion and feminine charm–a nearly perfect combination out of which to craft a woman’s personality, I’d say.

Her name is Thuy.

Having worked with Vietnamese kids back in the early years of my career as a life coach to teens, I suggested that my friend knock this woman’s sox off (presumably red, since they’re Bostonians) by telling her in his follow-up e-mail that it’s time to talk on the phone, especially since he bets he can pronounce her name correctly.

 
Never Have To Ask 'What Do I Do Next' Ever Again

 
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