Three Little Words (No…Not THOSE Three Little Words)

 
It was my oldest daughter who started it.

Back when she was about two she started saying, “I like you” to me.

Of course, we told her we loved her all the time.

But she was the one to take the initiative to take things a step further. Even though she was so young, she recognized that saying “I like you” is different than saying “I love you”.

Upon first consideration, you may perhaps think of “I like you” as somehow junior to its heavier “I love you” relative.

Indeed, many of us think of—and even joke about—“I like you” as kind of “ILY Lite”, possibly reserved for when someone we’re dating drops the “ILY” bomb on us before we’re exactly willing or ready to reciprocate.

Her: “I love you.”


Him: “Uh…I, um…LIKE you too.”

While I fully get the dynamics of such an unfortunate conversation, I think it’s a mistake to automatically relegate “I like you” to the realm of the relatively trivial.

That’s because when used effectively, the phrase can convey as much, if not MORE power than “I love you” can.

Even at age two, my daughter realized that.

The secret to making “I like you” count is using it proactively instead of reactively.

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How To Reconcile With Your Dad (And Why You Should Bother To)

 
The more guys I talk to the more it really hits home how many dudes out there really have a hard time relating to their dads.

And by “relating” I mean either identifying with OR communicating with…and in a multitude of cases BOTH.

For so many, the old adage that “you’ll end up just like your parents some day” seems more of a threat than a promise.

That’s too bad.

In a world where over 50% off all guys report having NO male role model to speak of, fewer and fewer men can honestly say they look up to their father in that regard…obviously.

Honestly, a huge number of boys grow up without a father figure in their life at all. So obviously, if there IS no dad it’s impossible to “relate” to him.

But even when you know exactly who your father is and where to find him, the relationship can go awry.

Never mind the fact that the father’s role in child development has been marginalized nowadays, leaving many men convinced that their presence just doesn’t matter in their kids’ lives.

(Well, either that or it helps them justify their pure laziness and/or apathy towards their sons and daughters.)

Where the rubber often meets the road is that we as sons and daughters instinctively (as in “innately”) have high expectations for our dads.

We are born in need of a hero to look up to, but that isn’t always the reality.

Not every dad is Ward Cleaver.

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