Life – Page 2 – The Official Blog Of Scot McKay

Why There Won’t Be A Newsletter About What Happened In Pittsburgh

I’m sure you’ve read the news about the unfortunate and tragic events that unfolded in Suburban Pittsburgh on Tuesday night.

My sincerest condolences go out to the victims, their families, and anyone else directly affected.

One particularly unfortunate part of the story is that the gunman, George Sodini, left a blog chronicling his premeditation of the crime and his motivation for doing it in lurid, shocking detail. One of the most consistent themes within the context of what he wrote was his failure with women.

So as you might imagine, I’ve been flooded with e-mails asking my take on what happened and/or asking me to draw parallels between what Mr. Sodini was struggling with and what thousands of frustrated guys deal with on a daily basis.

But I will not be indulging in the latter. And my take on the tragic occurrence Tuesday night is simply this:

No matter how frustrated you may be with women right now, you are NOT like George Sodini.

Continue reading “Why There Won’t Be A Newsletter About What Happened In Pittsburgh”

Why The New Disney/Pixar Movie “Up” Rocks

Carl And Ellie Rule Today I finally got around to seeing Up, the latest Disney/Pixar release.

I have to admit that I knew next to nothing about the flick prior to actually checking it out, except that: 1) It was Pixar, and therefore a “must see”, and… 2) …about two dozen people have called or e-mailed me telling me that Emily and I needed to see it.

Sometimes it’s sort of fun to go into a movie not at all knowing what to expect. This was one such occasion.

All it took was the first fifteen minutes actually. By then I was completely and utterly emotionally exhausted.

Without giving away the entire plot, there is about a five or eight minute segment there at the beginning that chronicles a lifelong relationship between a man and a woman (Carl and Ellie) as it should be.

Now if you’ve seen any Pixar production before, you are already well acquainted with their fanatical attention to detail. The rat-trap pizza delivery truck in Toy Story with “YO” on the tailgate comes to mind, as does Sally The Porsche’s insanely accurate low-RPM engine note in Cars. Only a 911’s legendary flat-six sounds like that. And as women go, she’s all 911.

And without giving too much away, let’s just say Pixar continued the tradition with great dignity in Up…particularly in that first segment.

It’s far from a comprehensive treatise on relationship management, or anything. But whoever wrote the screenplay and whoever animated it had clearly been in love before.

What’s more, they must have been in love and been in a healthy long-term relationship before.

Every little nuance jam-packed in that brief stretch of film is mind-blowing. It’s a rapid-fire animated depiction of how two people who genuinely love and respect each other live their lives together.

If you have any emotion in your soul whatsover, you are left breathless afterward. Emily was in tears, clutching my hand firmly as she sobbed. And if you know her, that’s not typically her style.

I’ll admit I was fighting back the water works myself. Pixar just flat-out gets it.

Simply put, any man who believes that spending one’s life with one great woman is for sissies might want to see this flick, unless he’s dead-set against changing his opinion. Then he needs to make it a point to skip it.

And furthermore, any wannabe PUA types out there who think the ultimate goal for their relationships with women is to notch their bedposts as many times as possible might want to avoid seeing Up also…lest they come face-to-face with what depth looks like in a long-term relationship.

But if you are in a relationship that matters to you–or aspire to–do yourself a favor and go see Up. Walk out after fifteen minutes for all I care. But see the beginning.

Now granted, if you’ve seen the movie Pixar indeed plays a dirty little trick on you over the course of the rest of the movie. At the beginning sequence you’re supposed to believe that something was actually missing from Carl and Ellie’s life together…and that the opportunity to fulfill on it was tragically taken.

Yes, I fell for it. I silently ruminated upon the fact that I’m glad that Emily and I have made it a point to go on “adventures” together, particularly insofar as traveling and seeing the world.

But at the end, Pixar takes the overall message to a whole new level by demonstrating that love in itself is the adventure. It’s what life is all about. And it’s not to be missed.

And neither is Up…if you think you’re man enough to handle it.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

True Story: How To Handle AMOG Attempts By Pro Athletes

First of all, I just wanted to let everyone know that it’s me, Scot, who is posting this. Jim didn’t originally intend for what you are about to read to be a blog post. He was simply dropping me a note to tell me what had happened the night before. Posting it is purely my doing.

As a coach for X & Y Communications, Jim has come a LONG way with women in a relatively short amount of time. These days he’s got the greatest woman he’s ever met in his life…and she apparently is just as happy as he is. What you’re about to read underscores that.

Enjoy this story from Jim. In my mind, it clearly demonstrates the all-conquering power of being a “big four” man, as outlined in The Master Plan.

Hey Scot,

Funny story for you from last night. So Heidi and I went to a country night down the street from where I live at a local watering hole I frequent. Heidi was looking GORGEOUS and dropping jaws and derailing freight trains last night.

So she and I noticed a table of guys who were being extremely obvious staring at girls and then saying the usual stuff. So Heidi went to go to the bathroom and I could not help but smile when the three of them were staring at her with their tongues hanging out.

Continue reading “True Story: How To Handle AMOG Attempts By Pro Athletes”

The Master Plan — You Already Are A “Natural”

Lately there’s been lots of talk about “natural game”…as if all we need to do is emulate a guy who we see as a “natural”, and we’ll somehow become more attractive to women.

Now sure, having some guys who are great with women show you the ropes isn’t such a bad idea. But do we really need to copy someone else’s entire persona in order to successfully attract the kind of women we want?

Well, a lot of us as guys have been suspecting something all along: We are all “naturals”. By being born male, we’re supposed to be attractive to women by our very nature. Simply put, you were BORN to attract women.

Continue reading “The Master Plan — You Already Are A “Natural””

Emily Is A Calendar Girl…For Real

OK, the rumors are all true. And pardon me while I have a little fun with this post.

By now you know about my “proof of concept”, @emilymckay. And you know we kind of like each other.

That alone is enough to stick around, if you’re a guy like me. Add to that the fact that she’s my ‘partner in crime’ as a dating coach in her own right, and she really is about the coolest spousal unit I can imagine. She’s also a pretty kick@$$ mom too. Just ask future San Antonio Spurs point guard Scot Jr.

Well, all of that notwithstanding, it’s always good to see someone else recognize how great she is too.

First it was Chickipedia. Next it was an invitation to do a Christian Carter interview. Lately, her Facebook profile has been rated a ridiculous #18 worldwide on Grader.com.

But I have to tell you, this is about as cool as it gets. Emily is now a calendar girl. Seriously.

It all started in December when I entered a pic of her into a contest called “The Social Media Divas Calendar Contest”. The premise was that they were looking for women who were both attractive and involved with Internet marketing in some way.

I don’t even remember telling Emily about it, actually. Well, lo and behold, I got some positive feedback initial from the judges saying that Emily was “under consideration”.

That’s all it took for us to decide it was time to hit this thing with a big, heavy hammer and take some more “professional” shots. For better or worse, this decision was made on the day that so happened to be the final day entries could be submitted. That was December 31st. So basically, while most of you were sipping champagne, we were doing an impromptu “photo shoot”.

I played “photographer”, Emily played “model”, both of us were running a fever no thanks to some cold we’d been ping-ponging about the house for over a week, and I was cranky (go figure).

But the end results came out pretty well, and I entered them into the contest with about forty minutes to spare.

We didn’t hear anything for a few days. That was all good, though, because some new “media photos” of Emily were overdue anyway. So actually, you can see some of the various contest pics, or variations of them, on Emily’s Facebook and Twitter profiles, as well as on Chickipedia and scattered around our own various Web sites.

But then the news came: Emily was voted in. She was officially a calendar girl.

Better yet, I was married to a calendar girl.

As I type, I’m realizing this is starting to get a little thick. But hey, begrudge me this one, will you? I’d be inclined to believe that any guy in his right mind with a blog would be blogging this, no?

So enough, already. I actually promised Mistress Mia, the producer of the calendar, that I would spread the word when the thing was released. So, all of this is actually a long-winded, proud-papa version of me keeping that promise.

You can get the electronic version of the calendar at www.womenwhoruletheworld.com. There will be a hard-copy version shortly that will demand the premium it deserves (in my biased opinion), but for now this one is F-R-E-E to download:

Social Media Divas Calendar

I think the whole thing came out great. Some of our friends like interviewer Heather Vale and fellow dating coach April Braswell actually made the cut also. Conveniently enough, Emily is “Ms. February”, so she’s “on the clock” here for the next four days.

If you want to let others know about the calendar, far be it from me to stop you. If you are on Twitter, please re-tweet this URL, or use the “Tweet This” button below.

OK, even though I am still beaming from ear to ear, I’ll step off now. Back to regularly scheduled programming next time. I’ve got yet another Twitter video for you then, but it will finally have something to do with dating.

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

Broccoli Explosion: Cook For Your Date (The Vegetarian One)

The Monster I Created...In It's Full Glory Here’s the thing. Some of you have been hammering me for quite some time to blog some new Cook For Your Date material. Just not enough of you to get me to get off my butt and do anything about it. After all, everything you really need is in the book already.

Then, about two weeks ago, someone sent me a particularly compelling question. “What about my girlfriend? She’s a vegetarian. What can I do that’s creative for her? After all, the way I see it I didn’t claw my way up the food chain to eat asparagus…so I’m kind of at a loss.”

OK, well…he didn’t word it quite like that. But you get the idea. In any case, it got the file cards turning.

Then, as fortune would have it two things happened. First, I went on a diet. Second, that Bacon Explosion monster appeared on the Internets shortly before the Super Bowl.

So there I was on Twitter one day kvetching about my diet (but crowing about how well it was working) when people started jiving me about how I was missing out on the Bacon Explosion.

My comeback was, logically enough, that I needed to BBQ me up a whole mess of Broccoli Explosion instead.

It was a joke. I didn’t mean any harm.

But the die had been cast. The damage done. The fate, in effect, sealed.

Continue reading “Broccoli Explosion: Cook For Your Date (The Vegetarian One)”

Universal Conversation Skills: Talk To Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere

X & Y Communications Coach Austin Parker For the longest time I was frustrated. I wanted people to take an interest in me. After all I thought I was interesting. I had just returned to the states after two years living abroad. I thought I was a master conversationalist with the most interesting topic in the world: Me.

Little did I know I was ignoring the needs of everyone I met. It turns out they didn’t want to talk about me. They wanted to talk about themselves.

Then I learned the trick to connecting with people is to take an interest in them. There are specific ways to do this and today I will share them with you. Without further ado, I present:

Universal Conversational Skills (i.e. the ones that work with anyone, anywhere)

1) Ask open ended questions

An open ended question is something you can’t answer with just a yes or a no. If you ask someone, “Do you like this place?” you are inviting a yes or no answer. Unfortunately this doesn’t give much to go on. “What do you like about this place?” is a better one. When I ask a leading question I always try to emphasize the positive. It works.

Continue reading “Universal Conversation Skills: Talk To Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere”

Let’s Hook Up And I’ll Do You

I started surfing back in the 80’s. Part of what went along with that, for better or worse, was using a certain lingo unique to surfers (or allegedly so). Some called it “dudespeak”.

A key example of this was when you’d meet some other dude who surfed, you’d say, “Yeah, man. Bring your stick and we’ll hook up…definitely.”

Of course, the intention there was to meet and go surfing.

Over time though, “hooking up” started to be a term that some people only used when referring to MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex). All of the sudden, dudes weren’t “hooking up” any more to go surfing.

“Hooking up” was reserved for chicks.

Though nowadays you’ll still encounter the occasional clueless attempt at invoking the “colloquial” usage of “hooking up”, it pretty much always raises eyebrows when it comes up in that context.

After all, “hooking up” has long-since been hijacked by sexual innuendo.

But this phenomenon is certainly not limited to “hooking up” by any stretch.

Essentially, everywhere you look our language has been affected as such, hasn’t it?

Basically, you really can’t “drill”, “pound”, “bang”, or especially “ram” anything anymore these days, let alone “give it to me”, without eliciting a chortle from anyone within earshot.

As far as “poking” people on Facebook goes, who knows what they were thinking over there? I mean…don’t they know what they’re implying?

Well, at least when someone friends me on Facebook, the “personal message” can still say, “Hey, I came across your profile” without being misinterpreted…or can it?

And to be sure, the whole concept of the Flintstones having a “gay old time” these days evokes some disturbing images.

But the one that really causes me to wonder what kind of monster we’ve created for ourselves with all of this is how the word “do” has been reduced to bedroom humor. These days, it’s pretty much universally synonymous with “have sexual relations”, of course.

I mean, this is one of the most essential verbs in the English language. Little kids in ESL are taught “do” on day one, right along with “be” and “make”.

Well, then again, Mick Jagger was “making” some girl way back in 1964. So perhaps this is just natural progression. No basic tenet of our language is immune. Just ask anyone who’s ever BEEN WITH you before.

So “do” was actually late to the party, I suppose (whatever “party” means nowadays).

As recently as the mid-’80s, the verb to “do” was tough-guy talk for “put a bullet in his head”. Go watch some action/adventure flicks from back then and have a good laugh when the uber-badguy coldly hisses, “do him” in response to some henchman asking what to do with the innocent hostage.

And that was a ridiculous enough twist on the language in its own right.

So, apparently we have Bell Biv Devoe and/or Aerosmith to thank for flipping the switch from “do me” meaning “kill me” to “have sex with me”.

On second thought, considering some of the women I’ve dated in my darkest past, what’s the difference?

But I digress.

Very recently, I showed up somewhere that required I make an appointment. I forget whether it was to get my car “serviced” (*ahem*) or the dentist’s office or what. But the leather-faced senior lady with the “smoker’s voice” smiled at me and announced, “We can do you tomorrow morning, hun. How’s that?”

Or not. Sheesh.

I guess I’ve been brainwashed like the rest of us. Chalk it up to the game.

Be Good,

Scot

Paul Newman Was A “Big Four” Guy

I just got home from a busy Saturday to find out that Paul Newman passed away. He was 83, and he had lived a full life.

Let me be clear, though. He didn’t necessarily live a full live because he lived to be 83. Rather, he lived life to the fullest for 83 years.

Besides being an A-list actor, Paul Newman raced cars and even owned racing teams. When he wasn’t doing that, he came up with bottles of salad dressing and spaghetti sauce, giving 100% of the profits to charity…to the tune of a quarter-billion dollars. After all, his life was abundant and greed didn’t become him. He was too busy out doing other stuff.

His first marriage didn’t work out so well, and he made his share of mistakes in his youth. But he learned from them. His second marriage to actress Joanne Woodward is one of the few “Hollywood” relationships to stand the test of time–fifty years.

He raised five daughters and lost his only son to an untimely death. What…you didn’t know that last part? That’s because he didn’t remind you all the time. His pain was private, not public.

Women loved this guy, even as he aged into his fifties, sixties and beyond. He was noted for good looks, but there was more to it. He was a “big four” guy.

If you have never seen “Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid” or (especially) “Cool Hand Luke”, go rent them. Do yourself a favor and watch very closely.

He just had a way of portraying confident, charismatic masculinity in everything he did…on and off screen. What’s more, he was one of those actors who could make you love the “bad guy” and want him to win. How is that accomplished? Well, in part, it’s done by diffusing the evil and/or the danger associated with the persona. In other words, he made you…and women, of course…feel safe with him.

By the way, keep in mind he was already over forty when those movies were produced.

Of the countless tributes to Paul Newman already proliferating on the Web, one on particular caught my eye and drew me in. In it, the author flatly stated, “I always wanted to be Paul Newman”.

And no doubt, on screen and in real life, living Paul Newman’s life sounded like a solid plan. You were pretty sure he’d be the kind of guy you could have a beer with. And you’d be ready to soak up whatever you could about how to be better with women from him, also.

After all, this was a man who could have had any (and perhaps every) woman on Earth. Yet, he chose fifty years with the greatest woman he ever met from practically infinite options.

He truly was The Leading Man.

When you watch a Newman movie, you leave feeling as if you could do a bit better in the “cool” department. It’s as if you’ve taken mental notes, and walk away ready to make it so in your life.

But that’s what truly cool guys do. They make everyone else around them feel a little cooler when they’re around. The guy who only thinks he’s cool, and would rather belittle others in a weak attempt to increase his “status”? Nobody wants to be that guy. Not really.

If you look closely at the artwork for The Engineer’s Guide To Being Cooler Than The Salesguy, you’ll see Paul Newman on the cover montage. There’s good reason for that. He belonged there. In fact, he was one of the first guys I thought of when researching that program.

Godspeed, Paul Newman. Hopefully they have Porsche 911s in Heaven that finally have perfect handling.

Be Good,

Scot

Why Cold Approaches Are So Last Century

“Day game is my domain” he told me as we sat down for some lunch. My friend was known in our circle as a day game purist, with a style much different from mine.

He seemed to have an “on/off” switch.

Today, he planned to flip his “on” switch and had set aside this time to go sarging.

I was intrigued.

Had he established some kind of “anchor” where he would touch his arm and become “super-sarge”?

We finished our lunch and he led the way. I am glad he was leading because I had a lot on my mind and wasn’t really in a social mood. I was intrigued to see this “switch” being flipped.

Suddenly he stopped.

“What are we doing?” I asked.

“Looking for targets.”

We waited in the high traffic area watching people roll by. Yeah, we saw hot women.

Continue reading “Why Cold Approaches Are So Last Century”

Ten Days In Mexico [Part Five]

Near The U.S. Border At Nuevo Laredo, Tamps.

We rolled into Monterrey, Nuevo Leon around 1:30 am. We didn’t get to sleep until 6:00.

Wild partying? Hardly.

It simply took that long to get a hotel.

The first two places we checked were packed to the gills. It turned out that the largest IT convention of the entire year happened to be taking place that weekend, and every hotel in the southern part of town was booked solid.

Suffice it to say the IT company hadn’t reserved my room in advance. This made perfect sense since I don’t work for any of them anymore.

Logically speaking, we decided to head to the northern part of town for more options.

Now, if you’ll recall, we’ve already discussed how “logic” and “Mexico” are two concepts that don’t mesh particularly well.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part Five]”

Ten Days In Mexico [Part Four]

Emily’s uncle Manuel lives in the urban equivalent of the Batcave–or is that “Gruta De Murcielagos“?

Either way, it’s impressive.

All that’s visible from the city street (if Delicias classifies as a “city”) is a simple garage door. Once it opens automatically, you drive down a hallway paved with Mexican tile that’s at least as long as a football field.

At the end is a massive sanctuary with walls on all sides of at least 75 feet high, and naturally lit from above. You feel as if you’ve entered into the domain of some villain from an upcoming James Bond flick.

Finding the “secret entrance” to the home itself, we were met by Emily’s aunt Petra, who had decorated the decidedly unique home traditionally. She fed us well and showed us our room, which was easily the most comfortable and well-equipped guest room either of us had seen since…ever.

None of us remember hitting the pillow that night.

The next morning, daylight revealed swingsets, a trampoline and enough high-end barbecue gear to make Bobby Flay jealous.

So if Manuel had designs on taking over the world as the next Bond villain, at least he was going to do so in a “family friendly” manner.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part Four]”

Ten Days In Mexico [Part Three]

In The Middle Of The Mexican 'Outback', Basically

No sooner than I had crossed the intersection I was compelled to slam on the brakes and throw the “Short Bus” into reverse.

Honestly, I had simply proceeded forward from the stop sign normally, as any red-blooded driver would have in a similar situation. Really.

But as it turns out, the Mexican Department Of Transportation (or whatever they call it) has a warped sense of humor.

And no question. Most traffic patterns in Mexico tend to assume that every vehicle that passes through is piloted by a local citizen who knows better by now than to assume anything…like, for example, that the street in front of you is NOT a “one way” street–headed in the OPPOSITE direction.

Well you know what happens when you assume. Some guy from Texas hits town and causes mayhem in the streets.

Sure enough, I was about to have “SEAT” tattooed on my forehead and Emily a “Chevy” symbol tattooed on hers had my reflexes not kicked in.

Who knew? Certainly there weren’t any SIGNS to inform us that what seemed perfectly logical was flat-out ridiculous to suppose.

Fortunately, there was a guy standing on the street corner to whistle at us…after I was already burning rubber in reverse.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part Three]”

Ten Days In Mexico [Part Two]

From Deep In The Heart Of Texas To Deep In The Heart Of Mexico

Hanging out a mile or two from la frontera (the border) is one thing.

Descending past about 30 miles into the “interior” of Mexico is something else completely. And I’m talking both figuratively and literally.

Yeah, in many ways it feels like the “wild, wild west” once you’re beyond the gringo-rich bordertown atmosphere.

But then there’s la aduana, or “customs” as it’s best translated into English.

Now clearly Mexico would rather you not bring your U.S.-registered vehicle into their precious country. In fact, they apparently have more of a phobia of your car for some reason then the State Of Texas, Farmer’s Insurance and GMAC do combined. Whatever their hang-up, it’s obviously an untold calamity worse than your kick-ass symbol of American gas-guzzling extreme being pilfered under cover of the night (or by banditos during broad daylight?) and whisked off to some “chop shop” never to be recovered.

Then again, what does Farmer’s care? Once you’re past la aduana you’re pretty much on your own as far as they’re concerned. This means that a subtle form of low-grade extortion known as “Mexican Auto Insurance” is a must. The cost? Only roughly 8-10 times the cost of equivalent US insurance for a similar coverage period.

Sooner than later, you realize that’s a bargain. After all, one of the most bizarre fundamentals of Mexican culture is that people just flat-out have distinctively less respect for the value of their own lives than I’ve ever seen in any country in the world.

Emily claims that this has a lot to do with the ubiquitous Catholic Church’s teaching that God will take you when he feels like it, and that there’s not much we humans can do about it when “our time” comes.

I think that explanation carries a certain amount of verisimilitude based on what I’ve seen. Hell, if such a philosophy indeed rules the day then it obviously applies to animals also. Mexicano drivers appear to have a shocking propensity for mowing down any vertebrate (human or otherwise) that crosses their asphalt path without so much as a tap on the brakes.

But back to the story.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part Two]”

Godspeed, Jim McKay

Today legendary sportscaster Jim McKay passed away at age 86, reportedly from natural causes.

The news caught my attention, especially since all through my childhood I was repeatedly asked if I was related to him, given our identical surnames and common area of residence in the Baltimore, Maryland area.

Perhaps ironically, “McKay” was a stage name. Jim’s actual last name was “McManus”.

But whether he was my namesake or not really is of little consequence. I just always really liked the guy.

Not only was he a pioneer and a true original, he flat-out oozed integrity.

I was too young when the fateful and tragic events of the 1972 Munich Olympic games happened that forever cemented his image as a dedicated professional to the U.S. television audience.

But I do vividly remember becoming a massive fan of ABC’s Wide World Of Sports.

In the pre-ESPN era of the late ’70s, Saturday afternoons from 4-6:30 Eastern Time were when it was time to tune in to channel 13 in Baltimore and hope for either demolition derby, Freddie Spencer vs. Kenny Roberts dragging their knees on the pavement, perky American gymnast girls who were still a few years too old for me, or…if God was truly smiling on us all that day…Evel Knievel jumping stuff.

And Jim McKay was therefore a constant in my memories of becoming a sports fan growing up.

Ironically, today was The Belmont Stakes, and Jim–who was especially fond of horse racing–passed without knowing the outcome. Life isn’t fair. But then again, as David DeAngelo said, if it were you wouldn’t be able to gain an unfair advantage versus other guys by learning how to get better with women.

Not surprisingly, horse racing and the Olympics have always been among my favorite sports events to watch on TV. This is probably not a coincidence.

Kind of like a “Walter Cronkite” of sports, you just felt like you were being told things as they really were when Jim McKay spoke. And somehow, you felt as if he were talking to you personally.

All of the above is well and good.

But what prompted me to write this was having read report after report from his friends, colleagues and contemporaries today who reiterated a common theme: Jim McKay was very much the same guy OFF camera as he was on. And this image of integrity and well-developed social skill translated to his personal life.

He was apparently a strong family man, and consistently maintained strong relationships with his wife, kids and friends throughout his long life–even as he “spanned the globe” to bring the rest of us “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat”.

Moreover, he spent his life doing what he loved and what he did best, as if he were born to do it. His professional legacy was, I’m sure, subject to very little if any personal regret.

Recently I happened upon a sales page for a men’s pickup/seduction product that claimed “a magazine survey” of men on their death beds had uncovered the “shocking truth” that “the #1 regret of men at the end of their lives was that they had not slept with enough women.”

Sorry, but I’d need more evidence than that to back up such a claim.

I can’t bring myself to believe that the “majority” of us guys get to the finish line and think that way. Just like we likely don’t wish we had worked longer hours, spent more money or cheated the IRS more.

At the end of my life, I want to look back and consider myself to have done my part to make the world a better place for as many people as I could…especially those whom I loved most. I also want to look back and realize that I left every ounce of energy I had on the battlefield when is came to accomplishing my purpose in life.

Were there not those in my life whom I deeply love, and were there not a clear mission for me to go after, then I would find reason to suspect that regret was looming when my days were done. But as it stands, I feel more than validated right where I am for the time being.

No wonder I always liked Jim McKay so much.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

Ten Days In Mexico [Part One]

Welcome to the first of a multi-part series chronicling the hijinks, escapades and even life-shaking epiphanies experienced on our recent adventure driving into the heart of Mexico. Fair warning…this series isn’t completely focused on dating and seduction advice, but if you read on you’re sure to find plenty of highly applicable information nonetheless. Most of all, I hope you enjoy this series as a quick break from your busy day and from the serious business of life…Cheers.

After A Fair Share Of Paperwork Hassles, It's Wide-Open Road Ahead

“Quieres whisky?”

The tuxedo-clad Mexican waiter catches me off guard.

“Absolutamente“, I answer solemnly but resolutely.

We’re now at the reception after Emily’s cousin’s wedding that, in the unforgettable words of Yogi Berra, “made this day necessary”.

Actually, it’s what inspired the entire trip.

And since we were already through what we had imagined to be the most brutal part of the journey by the time we made it to Ciudad Juarez anyway, we figured we’d do the “deep dive” and say hola to Emily’s relatives further south.

And believe me, the whisky was sounding really good by the time it was offered up.

You see, the previous thirty hours or so had been something else.

For starters, the drive from San Antonio to El Paso is notorious. Let’s just say that the first thing you see when you hit I-10 in San Antonio is a sign that says “El Paso — 538”.

When I say there is nothing in between that sign and the one that says “Welcome To El Paso, Home Of Some Pretty Good Carnitas Tacos”, I’m including the town of Fort Stockton, TX.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part One]”

How To Impress Your Vietnamese Date

Yesterday happened to be our first real “tax day” as X & Y Communications LLC, which was exacerbated by the fact that some myopic bonehead (namely me) decided that Power Sessions For Men programs should come out on the 15th of the month.

So with all of that now in the rear view mirror, I can’t think of a better time for a particularly lightweight blog post given all this talk about breakups lately.

Last night I got the kind of e-mail I particularly love to read: Someone else is succeeding at online dating more than ever before.

This time, a guy wrote me attaching the profile of a particularly attractive hottie who happens to be Vietnamese. And wow, she seems full of life, energy, compassion and feminine charm–a nearly perfect combination out of which to craft a woman’s personality, I’d say.

Her name is Thuy.

Having worked with Vietnamese kids back in the early years of my career as a life coach to teens, I suggested that my friend knock this woman’s sox off (presumably red, since they’re Bostonians) by telling her in his follow-up e-mail that it’s time to talk on the phone, especially since he bets he can pronounce her name correctly.

Continue reading “How To Impress Your Vietnamese Date”

Hire Me As Your Dating Coach, Get Into A Top MBA Program

As you already know, our dating coaching style is VERY different.

We talk about excellence a lot. Not just with women, but in life. That’s exactly what character-based attraction and seduction is all about. [Note: To certain black-hat “bootcampers” who are bogarting my term lately, I challenge you to a debate on how exactly “character-based” anything can be taught by a FICTIONAL character. But I digress.] You become a great man (as opposed to a “Mr. Nice Guy” or a “Bad Boy”) and you attract great women. It isn’t all that complicated.

So it’s perhaps not entirely unexpected to receive an e-mail like the one I just opened about a half-hour ago from Frank in Boston: Continue reading “Hire Me As Your Dating Coach, Get Into A Top MBA Program”

Best Wishes For A Happy New Year…And What’s In The Pipeline For 2008 [Video]

Emily joins me in sending along our sincere wishes for 2008 to be the best year for you ever. We’re looking forward to a great year ourselves, and you’re about to hear about some of what we have in store for y’all…

One of the things that wasn’t mentioned in the video is that we have a whole ‘nother set of video blogs coming up for you. Don’t touch that dial (does anyone under 25 even know what that means anymore?)

Be Good,

Scot

10 Ways To Maximize Your Pickup Game At Karaoke Bars

Emily Demonstrating Proper Karaoke Technique

Recently I received an e-mail from a guy in Australia who had heard Emily and I talking about karaoke here and there on X & Y On The Fly. He wanted to know if we had any advice regarding getting the most out of karaoke and therefore meeting lots of women…especially if you aren’t naturally gifted with world-class singing ability.
'You Got Me Feelin' Hella Good So Let's Just Keeep On Dannnn-cin'

Karaoke…ah yes. The world’s most OVERLOOKED bar/club strategy. Nowhere else can you FORCE women to notice you like you can at a karaoke bar. Better yet, play your cards right and you have ridiculously silly built-in ways to meet the sharpest women in the place.
'Upside Down...Boy You Turn Me'
Here’s my top ten ways to get all of this done:

1) Don’t care…just GO FOR IT. Confidence pulls better than talent. Overall, taking yourself much less seriously than you usually do can be a massive plus.

2) Go after cool songs by people who can’t sing anyway. Anything by the Blues Brothers is perfect. Try “Sweet Home Chicago”. A caveat–some songs seem like they don’t require much talent, but they really do and the songs are HARD. Anything by Nirvana applies here. “Wonderwall” by Oasis is a song that also comes to mind, as is “Jumper” by Third Eye Blind. Curiously, those two songs in particular also get every girl in the place to sing along with you–which is a MAJOR plus. I love ’em all but they took major practice.

3) Assuming a firm grasp on how your personality conveys, go learn a song or two that is COMPLETELY UNLIKE your personality…and master it/them. The way to do this is to drop a measly buck on iTunes and download the song. Play it back to back to back until you have every nuance. Usually 5-10 times does it, and then you have it forever. I know one guy who only does songs by women like Aretha Franklin and Gladys Knight–and he nails them every time. He’s a masculine enough guy and the irony is rich, so people are loving it. Chicks cheer for him. Incidentally, you don’t know me well enough yet to hear what my personal secret weapons are…LOL.

4) If you can’t sing, rap. Try “Baby Got Back”. Goofball raps are generally better than serious gangsta rap, unless you’re just flat-out stone cold. Then, it’s a lot of fun. Again, iTunes is the ticket.

5) You may not be as bad a singer as you think. Sing along to stuff in the car and start getting a grip for whose stuff you can carry.

6) A little known trick–you can get the KJ (karaoke jockey) to raise or drop the key. I drop two keys and I’m Jon Bon Jovi or Vince Neil. It drives other dudes nuts, especially nights when my pipes are on. They’ll say stuff like, “Dude…you NAILED that. There’s NO WAY I could hit that.”

7) Some songs are MUCH cooler as karaoke songs than in “real life”. You’ll get a feel for this by watching. The point is not to get caught up in making sure you sing a “cool song”. Maybe “7a” here is singing songs sung by guys but that women LOVE.

8) Know an “old standard”. Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra are killers. One of my favorites to pull this time of year is The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole. This is straight-up pimping out of the box, I’m telling you. And the younger you are, the better this goes over.

9) Tip the KJ and get to know him/her like you would a bouncer or a bartender. Things will go better for you.

And the ULTIMATE…

10) MASTER at least one amazing M/F duet. As soon as some chick you want to meet turns out to be brave enough to get up there and sing tell her (not ask her) that you want her to do a duet with you. “Picture” with Sheryl Crow and Kid Rock is the default, easy standard these days.

That's Enough...Someone Else Take Over
On the topic of that last point above, I fantasized for the longest time about finding a “wingwoman” who could master “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” by Meat Loaf and belt out her part like a champion. These days, Emily and I have now built that particular duet into our trademark. At least half the times we go to our regular places we close out the night at 10 mins. to 2a with that and it brings the house down (including last night). I still get a rush doing it. I’d love to get Meat Loaf on The Chick Whisperer sometime…LOL

Be Good,

Scot