The Official Blog Of Scot McKay – Page 5 – Deserve What You Want And Never, Ever Settle

Letter From A Woman: How To Have The “Total Package”

The following e-mail was sent by a woman named Christine in response to the latest newsletter titled “The Day The Real Men Showed Up”. I’ve received several messages very similar to it, but there are a few very specific things Christine mentioned that inspired me to post this particular message. Read on…

Scot,

I will admit, I don’t read ALL the “guy emails” you send, but click on ones with pertinent titles. It never ceases to amaze me how RIGHT you are about women, ALL the time!!! 😉

I have been casually dating a “nice guy” for 5 months. On paper, this guy had it all right – the career, the stability, the friends, the great family, the hobbies, the interests, etc. But he had no game, no “leading man” skills whatsoever. I kept giving this guy a chance because he had all the other qualities I was looking for.

I kept waiting for “the man” to show up. He never did.

And it was a *total* attraction killer for me. Now that I look back, it was so obvious, right from the first date.

If this guy did “have game” he would be a total catch for any woman. My ex husband was a man with a lot of leading man skills, but not a lot of the other qualities that are attractive to women. I now know that the leading man skills were the biggest reason I married him, even when the other qualities were less than stellar.

Without those leading man skills, a guy can be no more than a friend to a woman. It’s the ugly truth.

Even worse, this guy calls to tell me how much he likes me and wants to have an exclusive relationship, and THEN admits to me that he knows he does not have “woman skills” but he doesn’t know how to fix it!!! Ugh! Ask me how much I wanted to email him your website link!!!!! My goodness, he has not even kissed me yet! It has been 5 MONTHS!

So, I am moving on, looking for the guy with the right amount of “leading man” combined with the all other qualities. I will not settle this time. And I will not waste 5 months on the next “no game” man like this, you can be sure of that.

Keep doing what you do, maybe I will come across one of your students yet. 🙂

Friends,

Christine!

Ocean City, MD

Man, I miss summers in Ocean City, MD. That was the good life.

But more importantly here, a lot of us as guys are missing the point.

The “Big Four” (masculinity, confidence, inspiring confidence and character) are foundational to attracting high quality women. But it truly is leadership that surrounds the “Big Four” and grounds it in objective, tangible reality for a woman.

That’s why when we produced a complete system on relationship management, we named it The Leading Man.

So sure, Christine’s ex-husband compelled her with pure leadership…even without a complete representation of “The Big Four”. This happens all the time, since women naturally respond to a confident man’s lead. Welcome to a key reason why women often end up with a guy who isn’t good for them. Sometimes confident leadership is all it takes to get a woman to hang out with you.

That’s right…much of what causes Idiot/Jerks to end up with the women we want is that they simply were confident enough to lead. Does everyone in such a situation ultimately “live happily ever after”? Of course not, but that’s the “hidden” part of the equation that we don’t often notice.

So fast forward to the present. Christine’s got a guy who seems to have “the whole package”–at least on paper–but who won’t (or can’t) step up and lead.

He admits to her he needs help in his skills with women, but shows little initiative with regard to getting his shop in order. To top it all off, he fails to even step up to the plate and kiss her after five months…even though she clearly wanted that to happen.

Failure To Deploy is failure to lead. Plain and simple.

So the moral of this story? Being a “Big Four” man is the foundation. Leadership is the fuel that sets it all in motion. That’s what the “whole package” really looks like.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

Online Dating Vs. Dating Online

Get Off The Phone And Meet The Woman In Person During the conversation Zan Perrion and I had for The Master Plan one of the most fascinating themes we discussed was how we as a modern culture are becoming more and more disconnected from each other.

One’s first thought when considering that idea is, “Hey, wait a minute. Everyone’s got an Internet connection and a cell phone these days. If anything, we’re more connected.”

But that’s precisely the issue. With the ability to get online for “typing and Skyping” on the fly, and the advent of text messaging we can communicate easier than ever. Granted.

But do we really connect?

Zan and I were in 100% agreement that we do not. Despite all the technology allowing us to communicate, people are actually gathering less often in real life. In the framework of our “wired” lifestyle we actually tend to meet fewer people in real life than we used to, and less often.

And perhaps most alarmingly, it would appear we like it that way.

One key example we covered was how people are actually dating online instead of online dating.

What am I talking about here?

Continue reading “Online Dating Vs. Dating Online”

True Story: How To Handle AMOG Attempts By Pro Athletes

First of all, I just wanted to let everyone know that it’s me, Scot, who is posting this. Jim didn’t originally intend for what you are about to read to be a blog post. He was simply dropping me a note to tell me what had happened the night before. Posting it is purely my doing.

As a coach for X & Y Communications, Jim has come a LONG way with women in a relatively short amount of time. These days he’s got the greatest woman he’s ever met in his life…and she apparently is just as happy as he is. What you’re about to read underscores that.

Enjoy this story from Jim. In my mind, it clearly demonstrates the all-conquering power of being a “big four” man, as outlined in The Master Plan.

Hey Scot,

Funny story for you from last night. So Heidi and I went to a country night down the street from where I live at a local watering hole I frequent. Heidi was looking GORGEOUS and dropping jaws and derailing freight trains last night.

So she and I noticed a table of guys who were being extremely obvious staring at girls and then saying the usual stuff. So Heidi went to go to the bathroom and I could not help but smile when the three of them were staring at her with their tongues hanging out.

Continue reading “True Story: How To Handle AMOG Attempts By Pro Athletes”

What Women REALLY Want: If You Think It’s MONEY, Read This…

OK, here is a letter from a woman that I felt particularly compelled to share. If you’ve just finished reading my latest newsletter, then this is the SECOND e-mail from a woman you’ve seen written in response to what we’re talking about in The Master Plan.

The message is clear, gentlemen. Women want their men back. And unlike “underground” seduction tactics, we talk about what really works with women in broad daylight (no pun intended).

Does it make perfect sense that women just might rave about dating advice that really works? Does it also make perfect sense that if you’ve got to hide your strategies from women they might not work? Man, I really hope so by now.

But just in case you’re still on the fence, read this:

LETTER FROM A WOMAN

Hi Scot,

I find your newsletters interesting, and from a female perspective, I totally agree with the “Big Four” characteristics you mention (masculinity, confidence,inspiring confidence in women, and character).

I’ve met some men who on paper looked like great catches, but I ultimately decided not to pursue a relationship with them because something just didn’t feel right. Looking at those four characteristics you mention, in each case, the man didn’t have one or more of the four characteristics.

Continue reading “What Women REALLY Want: If You Think It’s MONEY, Read This…”

The Master Plan Is LIVE

Today is the day everything changes.

Until now, it has been implied to us as guys that we needed to “soften our demeanor”, “be nice” and otherwise fall in line with modern “feminized” culture.

The problem? Although we’ve been encouraged to think masculinity is somehow a bad thing, nobody ever gave us a roadmap for what to replace it with.

Obviously, the answer isn’t to be more feminine. Nothing lands a guy in the “Just Be Friends” zone more quickly.

So are we supposed to just “turn off” the masculinity…cold turkey? Well…if you’re neuter, you pretty much have zero chance at attracting anyone sexually.

Maybe the solution is a lot more simple.: There really isn’t anything wrong with masculinity to begin with.

That’s what I personally believe. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that most women want their men back.

Continue reading “The Master Plan Is LIVE”

The Master Plan — You Already Are A “Natural”

Lately there’s been lots of talk about “natural game”…as if all we need to do is emulate a guy who we see as a “natural”, and we’ll somehow become more attractive to women.

Now sure, having some guys who are great with women show you the ropes isn’t such a bad idea. But do we really need to copy someone else’s entire persona in order to successfully attract the kind of women we want?

Well, a lot of us as guys have been suspecting something all along: We are all “naturals”. By being born male, we’re supposed to be attractive to women by our very nature. Simply put, you were BORN to attract women.

Continue reading “The Master Plan — You Already Are A “Natural””

Retail Stores: Maximize Your Numbers In The Dating Game

Hey guys, this article hit my mind as I thought about my journey in the dating game. Retail stores, malls, etc. are fantastic places to start out if you are just beginning your self change in the dating game. It’s a great place to get over fear of approach, work on successful banter, and become comfortable in your own shoes. On the flip side, if you are successful already, this is a great place to keep going on your journey of authenticity and strong character, all the while having a bit of fun and enjoying the dating game.

If you are just beginning this journey, you probably have a ton of stuff running in your head. Icebreakers to open the conversation, what do I say next, tests, body language, etc. It can be overwhelming. For some cold approaches are difficult. However I still believe that you just have to harness those nerves of a cold approach and enjoy them, and just go over and do it. Now in a retail store, those nerves are a little less. Why? Well the women there are being paid to work, and they have to be courteous to you. However, know this, they are at work, they are most likely wanting to have a break from the routine, and have someone light up their day. Also in no way are you obligated to buy anything.

Continue reading “Retail Stores: Maximize Your Numbers In The Dating Game”

The Chick Whisperer #28 — Is She Interested In You?

The other day I was out with a new friend of mine here in San Antonio. Out of the blue, he asked me if I knew who Doc Love was. As it turned out, he had met the woman of his dreams–who is now his wife–after having read Doc Love’s The System.

It was then that it occurred to me that I hadn’t had Doc on The Chick Whisperer show yet, and it was time. After all, the guy had cut me a break and invited me as a guest on his show way back in ’06. It was the first real “media break” I ever got.

So I picked up the phone, dialed Doc’s number and he answered on the first ring. That’s the thing about him–he’s old skool all the way. No computers, no voicemail, and most of all–no B.S.

I let my buddy tell Doc his story in his own words, which I think made both guys’ day. Good stuff. And while he was in a good mood, I locked Doc down to sit in on for a TCW show.

So the end result is Episode #28 of the world-famous Chick Whisperer program.

Let me warn you up front, this program is a bit different. Doc Love is most definitely a talker, and he’s got his own set of firmly held ideas on what attracts women and keeps them attracted. Considering the man has been at this for forty five years, I saw it fit to simply throw the discussion topics out on the table this time and let him riff away.

Look forward to some controversial ideas and–as is always the case when Doc Love is at the mic–some good laughs. They way he throws down common sense in his own unique, fast-paced style never fails to crack me up. It’s just flat-out funny in a “no holds barred” sort of way.

To grab a listen for yourself, simply head to the RSS feed and subscribe:

Subscribe Via RSS Feed

…or make the short trip over to iTunes and slao the show onto your iPod. I’ve made the title “iPod friendly” so you’ll actually be able to find the thing once you download it:

Subscribe On iTunes Now

The iTunes page for The Chick Whisperer podcast can be accessed by clicking on any of the graphics in this post, as always. While you’re there, please leave us a review. These apparently influence iTunes rankings, so your opinion really does matter.

By the way, I’ve already got the guest for #29 lined up, too. It’s going to be good.

Be Good,

Scot

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Sharpen Your Online Dating Skills Using Twitter [Video Blog]

Let’s face it, guys really know how to mess up their chances with women online.

As a matter of fact, it usually starts with the very first email a guy sends to a woman he’s interested in. And once he’s blown his chances there, it’s nearly impossible to recover.

Well, short of cutting and pasting something that has “proven” to work–for someone else–what’s a guy supposed to do to get past that hurdle?

And ladies, what if you actually get an e-mail from a guy you actually do want to respond to? How do you send the picture-perfect reply without messing up a potentially good thing? After all, how many lame-o messages did you have to sift through to get to that ONE really interesting one?

If you’ve ever wondered about this sort of stuff, I’ve got one word for you: Twitter.

Can you close your eyes and imagine a world where the right words flow naturally from your fingers to the keyboard and glowing, enthusiastic responses from exactly the type of person you want to meet are more the norm than the exception?

It all may not be as far away as you think. If you’ve got ten minutes, I’ve got a solution. Watch this, y’all:

OK, I know you have comments. Will you give what’s in the video a fair shot? Or do you think I got a hold of a hookah full of bad shisha? Either way, talk to me. And let me know what topics you’d like me to hit in future videos, would you?

If you did in fact dig this video, then please Digg this video using the funny looking string of icons below this post.

Also, if you re-tweet this URL I’ll be a happy man. Use the “Tweet This” button below if you prefer. I’ve got nothing but mad love for re-tweeters.

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

Emily Is A Calendar Girl…For Real

OK, the rumors are all true. And pardon me while I have a little fun with this post.

By now you know about my “proof of concept”, @emilymckay. And you know we kind of like each other.

That alone is enough to stick around, if you’re a guy like me. Add to that the fact that she’s my ‘partner in crime’ as a dating coach in her own right, and she really is about the coolest spousal unit I can imagine. She’s also a pretty kick@$$ mom too. Just ask future San Antonio Spurs point guard Scot Jr.

Well, all of that notwithstanding, it’s always good to see someone else recognize how great she is too.

First it was Chickipedia. Next it was an invitation to do a Christian Carter interview. Lately, her Facebook profile has been rated a ridiculous #18 worldwide on Grader.com.

But I have to tell you, this is about as cool as it gets. Emily is now a calendar girl. Seriously.

It all started in December when I entered a pic of her into a contest called “The Social Media Divas Calendar Contest”. The premise was that they were looking for women who were both attractive and involved with Internet marketing in some way.

I don’t even remember telling Emily about it, actually. Well, lo and behold, I got some positive feedback initial from the judges saying that Emily was “under consideration”.

That’s all it took for us to decide it was time to hit this thing with a big, heavy hammer and take some more “professional” shots. For better or worse, this decision was made on the day that so happened to be the final day entries could be submitted. That was December 31st. So basically, while most of you were sipping champagne, we were doing an impromptu “photo shoot”.

I played “photographer”, Emily played “model”, both of us were running a fever no thanks to some cold we’d been ping-ponging about the house for over a week, and I was cranky (go figure).

But the end results came out pretty well, and I entered them into the contest with about forty minutes to spare.

We didn’t hear anything for a few days. That was all good, though, because some new “media photos” of Emily were overdue anyway. So actually, you can see some of the various contest pics, or variations of them, on Emily’s Facebook and Twitter profiles, as well as on Chickipedia and scattered around our own various Web sites.

But then the news came: Emily was voted in. She was officially a calendar girl.

Better yet, I was married to a calendar girl.

As I type, I’m realizing this is starting to get a little thick. But hey, begrudge me this one, will you? I’d be inclined to believe that any guy in his right mind with a blog would be blogging this, no?

So enough, already. I actually promised Mistress Mia, the producer of the calendar, that I would spread the word when the thing was released. So, all of this is actually a long-winded, proud-papa version of me keeping that promise.

You can get the electronic version of the calendar at www.womenwhoruletheworld.com. There will be a hard-copy version shortly that will demand the premium it deserves (in my biased opinion), but for now this one is F-R-E-E to download:

Social Media Divas Calendar

I think the whole thing came out great. Some of our friends like interviewer Heather Vale and fellow dating coach April Braswell actually made the cut also. Conveniently enough, Emily is “Ms. February”, so she’s “on the clock” here for the next four days.

If you want to let others know about the calendar, far be it from me to stop you. If you are on Twitter, please re-tweet this URL, or use the “Tweet This” button below.

OK, even though I am still beaming from ear to ear, I’ll step off now. Back to regularly scheduled programming next time. I’ve got yet another Twitter video for you then, but it will finally have something to do with dating.

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

How To Have More Fun On Twitter [Video Blog]

OK, so check it out. I realize that you’re probably thinking I must have a firm grasp of the obvious posting a video with a title like this.

After all, shouldn’t everyone be having fun on Twitter automatically? I mean, that should happen by default. Or so you’d think, at least.

Well, even though there are “haters”, nit pickers and even sneaky Amway reps among us, it doesn’t have to harsh your buzz. In fact, I can think of several ways to take your existing level on the Twitter Enjoyment Index (TEI?) and make it skyrocket through the roof…pretty much effortlessly, I might add. Here’s the video. It’s exactly five minutes flat…booyah.

So what did I miss here? Any other ideas on how to make Twitter fun? Sock it to me below, but no…posting “inappropriate” pictures of @emilymckay doesn’t count as an “idea”. But I admire your determination.

By the way, has anyone else ever noticed that people’s demeanor on Twitter tends to match the look on their face in their avatar photos with uncanny accuracy? Come to think of it, I guess that makes me a sly smartass…but an affable sort, at least.

So LOL, will you? I’m trusting you enjoyed this one, and I’ve got more coming soon.

As always, if you liked this particular video, please re-tweet this URL, or use the “Tweet This” button below. I appreciate your help in spreading the good word immensely.

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

Twitter Lingo: The Insider’s Guide To The Language Of Twitter [Video Blog]

Lately we’ve been having a lot of fun on Twitter, which is pretty much the way it should be. One major way we’ve all been amusing ourselves is by inventing “Twitter Lingo”, or creative terms for various stuff that goes on in the Twittersphere.

Invariably, whenever such a term is used anytime after it’s initial identification and definition, people start @messaging wondering what the heck we’re talking about. I can see why. After all, this is all sort of a “secret vernacular” of Twitter being formed here…right before our very eyes.

So clearly it was necessary to put all the newest definitions in one place. At least to some degree, this video is meant to serve that purpose. Sure, I could have just made a written list or something, but how entertaining would that be?

Bear in mind, by the way, that “established” Twitter Lingo (e.g. “Twittersphere”, as used above) isn’t covered in this vid. You can find a comprehensive Twitter Dictionary here or here. The purpose here is to unveil all-original terms of our own.

So here we go. And fasten your seat belts, because I make no apologies for either the Blues Clues or the Michael Buckley references:

Got any “Twitter Lingo” of your own to add? If so, leave a comment below. We’re already in the process of collecting more, and I can’t help but believe that there will be a sequel to this movie in the near future, perhaps featuring such unforgettable gems as “Twitzerland”.

But as for the next post on deck, we’re going to video blog on “How To Have Fun On Twitter”, by request. If you have bright ideas for video topics, you know what to do. Comment below or email me at scot@twiduction.com.

And if you liked this particular video, please re-tweet this URL, or use the “Tweet This” button below. It’s quick and easy, and I greatly appreciate it.

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

Broccoli Explosion: Cook For Your Date (The Vegetarian One)

The Monster I Created...In It's Full Glory Here’s the thing. Some of you have been hammering me for quite some time to blog some new Cook For Your Date material. Just not enough of you to get me to get off my butt and do anything about it. After all, everything you really need is in the book already.

Then, about two weeks ago, someone sent me a particularly compelling question. “What about my girlfriend? She’s a vegetarian. What can I do that’s creative for her? After all, the way I see it I didn’t claw my way up the food chain to eat asparagus…so I’m kind of at a loss.”

OK, well…he didn’t word it quite like that. But you get the idea. In any case, it got the file cards turning.

Then, as fortune would have it two things happened. First, I went on a diet. Second, that Bacon Explosion monster appeared on the Internets shortly before the Super Bowl.

So there I was on Twitter one day kvetching about my diet (but crowing about how well it was working) when people started jiving me about how I was missing out on the Bacon Explosion.

My comeback was, logically enough, that I needed to BBQ me up a whole mess of Broccoli Explosion instead.

It was a joke. I didn’t mean any harm.

But the die had been cast. The damage done. The fate, in effect, sealed.

Continue reading “Broccoli Explosion: Cook For Your Date (The Vegetarian One)”

Perfectionism And How To Tackle It…For Dating Success And Beyond

It has been a while since I posted my last article on this blog, and it’s already February 2009, so you may wonder why I have remained silent for a few weeks? And the truth is that I was afraid. Yes, I was afraid of writing an article which will be anything less than perfect. Didn’t I tell you that I was a perfectionist?

Perfectionism and Fear of Mediocrity

And while perfectionism is something socially acceptable, in essence it’s nothing else other than a fear of mediocrity. Yes, FEAR OF MEDIOCRITY. Such perfectionism creates a self-imposed pressure that we want to avoid. And this avoidance leads to procrastination and self-defeating fears. It says “If I can’t do it perfectly, then I really don’t want to do it at all.” How is it related to meeting women and enjoying a happy love life you may ask?

Continue reading “Perfectionism And How To Tackle It…For Dating Success And Beyond”

Why Follow Everyone Back On Twitter? [Video Blog]

It’s no secret that I personally follow just about everyone who follows me on Twitter. And that’s the way I like it.

Nevertheless, I sometimes get a stray comment here and there to the effect of, “Dude…it’s impossible to ‘follow’ that many people. I mean, there’s like no way you can keep up with all those updates from all those people, man.”

Indeed. But my response to such naysayers is simply this: Your Twitter is too small. If you take a look beyond the surface, there’s an incredible discovery that awaits. Here’s what I mean…

So having watched the video, what say you? I’m all but sure there will be some differing opinions out there, which makes me all the more curious to hear them. Twitter is yet an “emerging” social networking platform, so let’s hear your ideas on the matter.

I already hear someone asking, “Hey, McKay…what about spammers? What about people whose content I find offensive? Do I have to follow them back?” Well the simple answer is, of course, no. And you can also block them from following you. You’re at all times the master of your Twitter domain…literally.

By the way, my auto-follow app of choice is SocialToo.

If you liked the video, please re-tweet this URL or use the “Tweet This” button at the very bottom of this post. I greatly appreciate it.

Next time I post a video blog, we’re going to talk “Twitter Speak”. And we’ll hear from one of our coaches in between. Until then, don’t touch that dial…or, um, the mouse either. Actually, don’t let me discourage you from touching the Dial, especially if that’s the brand of soap you use.

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

The Chick Whisperer #27 — Flirting And Creating Natural Attraction

The concept of how to get a high-quality woman to feel attraction for us we first meet her is a popular one. Well, duh…with all the mixed messages about what women want, cultural feminization, and sexual-harassment policies we as guys face in our post-modern world, it’s no wonder there’s such confusion and frustration afoot.

So that’s why I invited my main man Christian Hudson, formerly with Charisma Arts and Master The Vibe and now with The Social Man, to co-host a show with me highlighting that very topic.

Listen in as we talk about the clear difference between “natural game” and “natural attraction”, and break down exactly what it takes to be the kind of man who drives women wild. We also have a very frank discussion on the role that flirting plays in all this, offering opinions on what exactly “flirting” means, along with practical examples of how to go about it exactly the right way.

Just for good measure, Christian and I answer a voice mail question about why we “freeze up” when around that one woman we desire the most–and reveal creative solutions for getting over the problem once and for all.

I’ve got to say, when the dust cleared after editing this turned out to be one killer episode. Those of you guys who like to explore theory and how to apply it objectively to real-world situations are going to be loving this show.

So all that’s left is to download Episode 27 and listen, right?

To do so, head to the RSS feed and subscribe:

Subscribe Via RSS Feed

…or hit up iTunes and get the show onto your iPod with just one click:

Subscribe On iTunes Now

The iTunes page for The Chick Whisperer podcast can be accessed by clicking on any of the graphics in this post, actually. While you’re there, we really could use more reviews…preferably good. Your reviews influence iTunes rankings, so it’s a great way to support the show.

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. Next up I have the first in a new string of VIDEO BLOGS for you. Stay tuned.

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X & Y On The Fly #41 — Movie Moments

OK, the latest X & Y On The Fly has finally hit the street.

This time, Emily and I break down our all-time favorite “movie moments”. And we’re not talking about action-adventure “moments”, Star Wars, or when Phoebe Cates gets out of the swimming pool in Fast Times At Ridgemont High.

Well, okay…we did bring up one moment from Star Wars.

But that’s beside the point. What’s important is that you go from good to great in your relationships with MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex). So to that end, we break down some all-time great romantic scenes so two main things can happen. 1) The guys who are listening can discover exactly what it takes to melt a woman big time, so they can go and do likewise…which rocks. 2) The women who are listening can recognize when a “movie moment” is happening right before her very eyes, and go with the flow.

Nice, huh? We’re pretty sure nobody has ever covered this in a podcast before, and we figured it was time. So enjoy.

By now you’re probably wondering where to getchasum of this. Look no further than iTunes:

Subscribe On iTunes Now

Or if you prefer, you can go straight to the RSS feed:

Subscribe Via RSS Feed

If you get the show on iTunes, please be sure to leave us a review. And tell a friend or three. Much obliged.

Be Good,

Scot

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Success With Women: Recognize Breakthroughs…And Kick The Door In.

X & Y Communications Coach Austin Parker We’re all on our own journey and I’d like to share with you part of mine. One year ago I left my former career to start business, even though I had never sold anything before and had no idea what I was going to do.

I’ll spare the details as they don’t add much, but I struggled for months. I read a lot hoping to avoid failure, but as it turned out I tried two projects and they both failed.

Nearly crushed, I launched a third project, and waited for the onset of failure. Except that didn’t happen this time. It took off, and I made my first profits.

I then faced the question “how do I grow this business?” and I had to learn marketing. I stumbled at first seeing no results for my efforts, but I kept trying and eventually started seeing success in this area as well.

Continue reading “Success With Women: Recognize Breakthroughs…And Kick The Door In.”

How To Get 1000 Twitter Followers In 12 Days [Video Blog]

OK, today I’ve got something that’s clearly a change of pace.

As you know, I’ve been harping on Twitter constantly lately. But that’s for good reason. This is not only the hottest social networking site on Earth at the moment, it’s also arguably the most significant in terms of blasting your online dating success through the roof–directly and indirectly, as subscribers to the newsletter already know.

In the real world, there are as many reasons to get geeked over Twitter as there are people on Twitter.

In fact, many (if not most) of you reading probably are not regular visitors to this blog, and linked here through something Twitter related as opposed to dating related.

So on with it.

Here’s the thing. Since New Year’s Day I’ve gone from 1000 followers on Twitter to almost 2200 as we speak.

And I’m convinced you can do it too.

I know what you’re thinking. Either, 1) “Yeah, but you’ve got a gazillion people on your mailing list”, or… 2) “Prove it.”

Well, if you’re of the former category consider that it took just under a year to get to 500 around here, so something had to change to make the spike happen.

And if you’re of the latter category? Well then, you’re just going to have to watch this 21-minute video, where I spill all the details:

Something tells me I’d better brace myself for some comments on this. Go ahead and tell me what’s on your mind.

And before we wrap up, here are a few notes I’ve thought about since the movie was recorded:

1) Yes…you can “piggy back” the basic strategy, in turn leveraging the recent timelines of those you link to from your own.

2) Yes…instead of one big session per day you can run several different quick sessions during the course of a day, just as long as you can keep a handle on non-followers as described.

3) And…just in case it wasn’t implicit, I agree 1000% with what the “Twitter gurus” say: You’ve got to be interesting, helpful and engaging when you “tweet” or else everyone is going to get a clue and unfollow you despite your best laid plans. In other words, what I’ve presented in the vid is a good way to get followers, but keeping them is up to you.

Maybe we’ll do a video on that last point later.

But for now, go on Twitter and getchasum. And always remember, as the video says, if you’re just “collecting followers” you’re missing the point. Join in the conversation, follow people with interests you as yet know nothing about, expand your horizons and–most of all–make lots of new friends.

And if you are interested in Twitter as a dating site, what you’ve seen in this video takes the idea of gaining quick social proof to the ultimate level, huh?

By the way, if you liked this and thought it was helpful, please re-tweet by using the “Tweet This” button at the very bottom of this post. Greatly appreciated!

Be Good,

Scot McKay
@scotmckay

The Guide To Speed Dating Success

(This post originated as a correspondence on speed dating between two X&Y team members. I have speed-dated on and off for approximately two years and observed the curious dynamic involved. I have left feeling like I found my “100” and left wondering why I wasted two hours of valuable SportsCenter rerun time. I have attended feeling like I could conquer the world, and attended three days out of the ICU. So without further ado…)

The event…

The format varies by organization–some have longer (8-10 min) vs. shorter (4-5 min) individual dates, some allow one-on-one time with everyone there whereas others will only put you across from a fraction of the ladies present, some have an “intermission” for unstructured interaction, others don’t. You get the picture.

Most events are bracketed by age range (e.g. 25-35) or other demographic characteristics (race, religion, professional status). Age ranges are not absolute but not infinitely flexible—a 37 year old could attend a 25-35 event, a 45 year old is pushing the limit.

Continue reading “The Guide To Speed Dating Success”