Scot McKay – Page 4 – The Official Blog Of Scot McKay

X & Y On The Fly #45 — Open Relationships

It’s true that I don’t blog much anymore at all, let alone every time a new podcast episode hits the street.

But this particular newly-released episode of X & Y On The Fly probably is going to raise some eyebrows, so I figured I’d give you a bit of an idea of what to expect.

You see, here’s the deal. Emily and I are–and always will be for the foreseeable future–completely monogamous. And we like it that way.

As such, it’s it might not surprise you that the whole idea of “open relationships” is one of the very few major headings in the world of dating and relationships that had been conspicuous by its absence from our discussions thus far.

But still, it’s sort of like an “elephant in the room”, isn’t it?

Well, rest assured that Emily and I have been kicking around the idea of doing an X & Y On The Fly show on the subject for quite sometime. And now, for your listening pleasure, we’ve actually gone and recorded one.

To subscribe and listen, you need look no further than iTunes:

Subscribe On iTunes Now

Or if you prefer, you can go straight to the RSS feed:

Subscribe Via RSS Feed

I have to tell you, this may be the very first (and last) time you hear a monogamous couple broach this subject publicly, which is actually a shame. Sort of like how I believe one’s core world view shouldn’t be decided by “accident of birth” but rather by personal choice, how one structures one’s romantic relationships should be decided much in the same way.

Let’s face it. It’s a fear-based reaction to try to prohibit someone who you’d like to believe the way you do from reading literature that conflicts with it, yet that’s what parents and shortsighted faith-based institutions do all the time.

Bummer. Because if you want to be a stronger follower of [insert world view of choice here] instead of a “yes man”, then you should know why you don’t believe in something else.

Here in the US, at least, the core concept of getting married to one other person has pretty much been the de facto standard for, well, ever. We get that this “cultural meme” is pretty much forced on us.

So rest assured you can bet that Emily and I also completely get it if you’re not so interested in “your father’s Oldsmobile”. We understand if you think socialized monogamy is only for the faint of heart and is probably largely responsible for all the cheating and divorce that goes on in these parts.

But here’s the thing. We’ve indeed read and heard all about open relationships…including The Lifestyle, “circles”, even the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy of the rich and famous.

And we’ve still made the choice to be a couple, as in two people together. It’s an informed choice. We’re neither “trapped” nor in “possession” of one another, it’s just that we love each other wildly and wholeheartedly believe in the “one man/one woman” arrangement.

So YES…as you listen to this podcast, you can plan on hearing some very honest musings with regard to all kinds of open relationships. We’ll talk about the pros and cons, and we’ll do so without judgment.

But we’re not pretending to be “experts” on the subject, nor do we have time to cover every single nuance of every single angle. So be sure to cut us a break here. Perhaps more than any other show we’ve ever done, this one is more of a pure social discussion than a “teaching tool”.

In other words, that’s all long for “sit back, relax and enjoy.”

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. By the way, if you get the show on iTunes and you really like it, please be sure to leave us a review. And tell a friend or three. Much obliged.

The Man’s Approach Is Now Available

Ask any guy what his #1 challenge is when it comes to women and he’ll tell you: It’s gathering up the courage to actually approach them and start conversations with them.

Indeed, the issue is nothing short of pandemic worldwide, attested to by the ever-increasing number of “pickup artist” training courses available out there.

But wait a minute. What if a particular guy isn’t exactly so interested in becoming a “pickup artist”? What if he’s a pretty “normal” guy who’d simply like to have a great girlfriend, and perhaps even a terrific wife someday?

The truth is if you’re that guy, you’re still going to have to actually meet the woman of your dreams before you can build a relationship with her, right?

Given the obvious truth of that statement, it’s altogether remarkable that there has never been a comprehensive plan on how to meet high quality women in particular, start conversations with them and make plans to see them again.

Until now, that is…

Continue reading “The Man’s Approach Is Now Available”

When She Says, “I Have A Boyfriend” + Special Teleseminar Event

With The Man’s Approach ready to drop this Friday September 10th at 11 am EDT, I wanted to be sure to get you up to speed with the goodies I’ve been handing out…just in case you’re not on the info list.

So far there have been two reports, and you can grab both of them once you get on the info list I just mentioned:

Special Report: 5 Things Women Want You To Know When Approaching Them

Special Report: When She Says, “I Have A Boyfriend

Response to those two reports has been nothing short of overwhelming. Even more amazing has been the number of responses we’ve gotten to the quick survey we have at the website. There have been 2090 in just about a week to the main question: “What are your biggest challenges when it comes to meeting women, starting conversations with them and/or making plans to see them again?”

We really didn’t dream we’d get as much input from guys all over the world as we have. While our first thought was to take all the answers and use them to make The Man’s Approach even better, we’ve decided to go ahead and hold a webinar/teleseminar TOMORROW NIGHT, September 9th @ 9 pm EDT.

On that call I’m going to be joined by a few other world-class experts at meeting women and we’re going to cover the solutions to as many of the sticking points guys have submitted as we can in 90 minutes.

Here are the coordinates for the call:

DATE: Thursday September 9th (That’s Tomorrow)

TIME: 9pm Eastern Daylight Time (GMT -4)

ACCESS: Via US Call-In Number OR Worldwide Via The Web

DETAILS: http://bit.ly/TheMansApproachWebinar

That’s all for now. Be sure to get in on the pre-launch info list because I have yet another special report coming tomorrow…just before The Man’s Approach itself launches on Friday.

Be Good,

Scot

The Man's Approach ... Coming This Summer From X & Y Communications

Pics From The Video Shoot For The Man’s Approach

As you may already know, the new program for guys who want to approach and meet high quality women, attract them and make plans with them is called The Man’s Approach.

Based on the tremendous amount of feedback I’ve been getting from guys all over the world, it’s apparent that most guys really do not want to become pickup artists. They’re just normal guys who simply want to meet some terrific great women…instead of kicking themselves every time one comes along and they don’t meet her.

As long overdue as it is in the eyes of many, The Man’s Approach will be your complete blueprint for getting that right from now on.

Mark your calendars, because it will be launched worldwide on Friday, September 10th, 2010.

I’ll have more details later, but for now I thought I’d share some snapshots from last night’s video session. After all, any program that’s all about how to approach women, get their numbers and make plans with them had better have plenty of video, right?

Well, far be it from us to disappoint. You already know my “proof of concept” Emily (in brown). Meet Erika (in the red) and Claudia (in black):

All of these women are as sweet and friendly as they are good looking. In fact, that was a must. Claudia is actually pretty well known nationally for her modeling work, and Erika happens to be one of Emily’s good friends. So you’ve probably guessed that I hand-picked the women I instinctively knew would be perfect for the task at hand.

By the way, the other dude at dinner with us all is none other than Hugo, who you may recall won our worldwide photo contest last year. Guys submitted photos of women they met using what’s taught here at X & Y Communications, and Hugo was the Grand Champion. So hey, I invited him to take part in the demo vids with us. Very nice. As you’ll soon find out, he’s very much a normal guy, and did a great job in the videos, as did the ladies.

The vibe we were looking for was to show natural conversation in a typical, everyday setting…and just let what happens happen. After the interactions, there’s some discussion between us on what was said and done, how well it worked (or didn’t) and suggestions on how to go from good to great.

Going with that style of presentation, to me at least, represented the ultimate “best of both worlds” between running hidden cameras and simply staging rehearsed demos. It really turned out great, and ended up representing a truly innovative (and powerful) way of presenting this sort of content that you guys are sure to enjoy.

Oh, and one other thing. There’s actually another gal featured in The Man’s Approach named Celeste who was recently voted one of Maxim’s “home town hotties”. There are videos from an earlier shoot that feature her also. But I’ve got to keep at least some of what’s coming your way a surprise, so you’ll just have to wait until The Man’s Approach is formally released to meet her…

Be Good,

Scot

The Man's Approach ... Coming This Summer From X & Y Communications

The Chick Whisperer Podcast #38: Quit Making Things So Complicated

When I called up the Adonis Effect’s Brad Howard and extended the long-overdue invitation to co-host the podcast with me, I also asked him to suggest a topic. This is pretty typical, since the shows are always best when we riff on whatever the co-host’s specialty is.

Well, Brad wasted no time when faced with this question.

“Oh, that’s an easy one. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how difficult we as guys try to make meeting and relating to women out to be. But really, it just doesn’t have to be all that hard, you know?”

I instinctively knew that was a winner of an idea.

After all, not only did I agree 100% with his opinion on the matter, we had never actually talked about it on the show.

So 52 minutes of recording later, that all had changed. Now you can listen to Episode 38 of the world famous Chick Whisperer podcast and decide for yourself whether we’re on to something here, or whether we’re completely off base.

But one thing’s for sure, if you don’t do any listening, then you certainly can’t do any deciding. Right?

Now, whether or not you agree that meeting and relating to women is complicated or not, getting your hands on this episode most definitely isn’t as difficult as you might think. All you need to do is hit iTunes and click the “subscribe” button.

The Chick Whisperer podcast even has “iPod friendly” titles and album art, so finding it amidst the thousands of other files is just about as uncomplicated as listening to it.

Subscribe On iTunes Now

The iTunes page for The Chick Whisperer podcast is linked to from every graphic in this post. If you’d be so kind as to leave us a review, we’d be much obliged. Your input really does influence iTunes rankings.

And if you’re the type of guy who just isn’t so into iTunes, then no worries. There’s always that old standby, the RSS feed. You can click on the link below to subscribe over there:

Subscribe Via RSS Feed

Be Good,

Scot

P.S. Brad and I also cover a great voice mail question from Craig in Colorado on how to build a social circle and meet women FAST. Good stuff.

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The Man's Approach ... Coming This Summer From X & Y Communications

Thoughts On Having Been In Europe When The Volcano Erupted

The Unpronounceable Volcano Doing It's Thing Well, as of last night Emily and I are back in good ol’ San Antonio, having “survived” being “stranded” in Europe courtesy of that now infamous volcano in Iceland’s shenanigans.

A good number of you sent us very encouraging e-mails over the past week or so, encouraging us to “hang in there”, “be safe”, etc.

While I genuinely appreciate everyone’s concern, I have to come clean with something. Here it is: The past week hasn’t really been as big a nightmare as the media would have liked you to believe.

Not for us, at least.

In fact, we made the best of a few extra days in Europe and ended up actually enjoying it.

How’s that, you say? Weren’t there a few days of uncertainty there? Isn’t it true that everyone was utterly stuck wherever they were when the ash cloud hit the proverbial fan?

Well, yes…and sort of.

The Man's Approach ... Coming This Summer From X & Y Communications

Continue reading “Thoughts On Having Been In Europe When The Volcano Erupted”

The Chick Whisperer Podcast # 37: MILFs And Cougars

OK, so here it is. I’ve been meaning to have my good friend Brad Jackson on the show as a co-host for quite some time now.

So the other day I finally got on the phone and told him it was time to stop all the talk and get to a little more action, Jackson. A whopping sixty minutes later, episode #37 had emerged from the ashes of what truly was an epic podcasting session.

I’m going to tell it to you like it is. (Actually, both of us are, if you get right down to it.) What you are about to grace your iPod with is nothing short of the most straight-up, no-holds-barred discussion on both single-moms and cougars that’s ever invaded your eardrums.

Whether that sounds exceedingly pleasant or utterly horrifying to you, you’re probably right. But one thing’s for sure: The experience will be both an enlightening and and entertaining one for you.

And to make matters even more complicated, we went ahead and answered a particularly “touchy-feelie” voice mail from Lawrence in Santa Monica, who wants to know how to get a woman sexually interested in you without necessarily mating with her for life. Not a bad question there, Lawrence.

Well, with that all that’s really left to talk about is how to go to the RSS feed and subscribe. That’s pretty brain-dead simple. Just click on the link below and make it happen:

Subscribe Via RSS Feed

…or saunter on over to iTunes and get that show onto your iPod. As always, I’ve made the title “iPod friendly” so you’ll actually be able to find the thing once you download it:

Subscribe On iTunes Now

The iTunes page for The Chick Whisperer podcast can be accessed by clicking on any of the graphics in this post, as always. While you’re there, please leave us a review. These really do influence iTunes rankings, so your opinion definitely matters.

Be Good,

Scot

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The Man's Approach ... Coming This Summer From X & Y Communications

The Magic Word That Leads To A Better Social Life

I’ve been a bit of a workaholic lately. I bring this up because I’m tired after my work weeks and don’t always feel the energy.

A friend of mine recently called and said “Hey, Austin, how would you like to go do this zombie walk?” What’s a “zombie walk”? As it turns out, it’s a several hour affair where you rip up the shirt, stain it with fake blood, white stage makeup, and wander around aimlessly looking for babes and braiiiins. At 5pm on that certain Friday my friend called, however, I wasn’t really in the mood to commit to such a thing. But I said “yes”…because I knew I had to.

And here is why.

“Yes” is the secret word that will bestow social riches upon you. Your friends, girlfriends, and acquaintances are likely throwing interesting opportunities at you all the time. Sometimes these opportunities sound like more work than fun. I mean tearing up a shirt, wearing make up…who wants to do all that, especially on short notice? But I went for it, and once I got going I had some momentum and had a really kick ass time.

So next time you’re asked something by your friends, say “yes”. Always say “yes”. It’s the secret word that will lead to more opportunities.

–Austin

Field Report: “I Presently Have Six Quality Women In My Life”

The Author And His Friend, The Former Bud Girl This email is in reference to your News Letter about guys learning information to meet quality women and not applying what is taught to the real world. I am 100% living proof that your advice works. I have developed leaps and bounds after following your wisdom and reading your news letters. Your one on one counseling is superb. With that said, I presently have 6 quality women in my life. I know it’s not about the numbers, but the quality that counts. However, when guys start becoming successful, it happens, and a new learning process starts for yet another level. It has taken me three years to get here. Truth be told, if I can do it, anyone can.

One very important lesson that I have learned in the attraction process is for a guy to gain knowledge from other successful men and then, more importantly, apply this information to his life. Scot, what you and other experts have taught me is that it first starts with me learning from others and then acting on the gained knowledge to become a better man. There is no quick launch method, no attraction pill, and there is no one thing I can say or do to attract women. Who you are and how you attract women is all about learning and applying; making it part of who you are. I have learned that 20% of your time should be spent gaining book knowledge and 80% of your time should be spent applying what is learned to real life, with real females. The Army has a saying: a mediocre plan timely executed is far better than the most detailed plan not executed at all. Here is some general information that I have learned. If I had advice for those starting out, it is this:

1) If your desire is to attract better women, then become a better man that attracts women. The information is out there for those who want to learn. Make what you learn who you are in the real world. Learn by applying.

2) Learn to stop analyzing your actions with women, let go, and have fun. Be creative and become a kid again. Learn to be fun with women. Make meeting women a fun game. Adopt an attitude that you will put a smile on every woman’s face that you interact with in some way. I am living proof that it is fun to learn methods, apply, and spend time with quality women.

3) Get out and test everything. You must fail before you can succeed with women. Failure is your best friend. It’s tough love. Believe me, I learned to be cocky and funny the hard way. I turned more women off because I did not know how and when to apply. But experience prevailed! Even more important is learning to become masculine, naturally confident, and how to make it fun in almost any given situation. Learn creative conversations, spontaneity, intrigue, and how to shock her in a fun way. Learn to become the “man” of a woman’s dream and what that means.

4) Know your strength and weakness with women. Write out a plan to overcome your weaknesses and break your weaknesses down into small steps. Learning to be successful with women is a process. Develop small processes that work, add them to your entire attraction process system, and build upon it. You must learn attraction basics, develop a process that works for you, and lead women through it.

5) It is important to know that there are lots of quality women in the world and fewer quality guys who get it. Take advantage of these odds by becoming an attractive man that women want to be around. Know what you want and become a man that attracts her.

I have learned so much and I believe it’s time to tell my story. I still have far to go to where I want to be. As you know, it all works on levels and I am not there yet. However, I am also nowhere near the bottom and I have taken all that I have learned to heart. Right now life is fun and my biggest challenge is learning to manage my “hanging out” (dating) life. I have learned to not date anymore, but to simply hang-out when I find someone that I want to spend my time with. I have learned its not money or how much time, however, it is the “experience” that counts. I have learned to develop the experience by becoming spontaneous, intriguing, interesting, fun, and safe. I focus on making myself more excellent. I have learned it’s about having fun and relaxing. I approach women as it being exciting to find out who they are and challenging to take a woman through the attraction process. I have learned that the process is an adventure that is everywhere and anywhere I make it out to be.

— Kevin Kelly (Colorado Springs, CO)

Lt. Col. Kevin Kelly is currently on active duty in the U.S. Army in Colorado, having recently returned from yearlong tour in Afghanistan. He’s finishing up a Ten-Plus program with me and obviously doing great. I was pleasantly surprised to receive this detailed account from him in last night’s e-mail, and it’s reprinted with his permission. Thanks for your service to our country, and for sharing your insights, Kevin. Terrific stuff.

As far as your success with women goes, if you’re interested in going from where you are right now to where you want to be then Ten-Plus is probably right for you also. It’s a guided plan of action with guaranteed results. For more, check out dating-coaches.com. or contact me personally at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com.

Presence Vs. Attention = Happy Women Everywhere

X & Y Communications Coach Austin Parker Having spent the last year of my life on entrepreneurial pursuits, I’ve learned some hard lessons about keeping a woman happy. At the height of my working tirades I’d get a call from my girlfriend at the time and I’d keep clicky clacking away on the computer. I’d talk and I’d try to stay in the conversation. I figured she wanted some of my attention and time and in my mind, I thought I was giving it to her. This didn’t work.

I started to ask myself, why? Attention without presence is disrespectful. It sent the message that the other person isn’t as important as whatever I was doing. It made them feel less valuable in my life.

Sometimes I can’t be present. My mind goes a hundred miles an hour and it takes time to calm down. During these situations I inform the woman (or man, this is a general social skill) that I just finished or am in the middle of doing something. It’s consuming me and I set a specific time when I expect I’ll be ready to give them my full presence. People are respectful of this.

Otherwise I step away from what I’m doing and go to another room and have the conversation. The quality of the conversation goes up greatly from there. And with quality it’s easy to end it in a timely manner and get back to what I’m doing. Everyone wins.

So next time, give your presence not your attention. It’s the respectful thing to do.

–Austin

Just Say “No” To Infant Circumcision

Visit NoCirc.org For More When Emily and I decided to have our son Scot, Jr. at home, we were confronted with the question that all new parents of little boys have to deal with: Should we have the baby circumcised or not?

This led to my researching the idea for the first time in my entire life. Most of us here in the United States have been socialized to somewhat blindly accept that circumcision is a “given” when a newborn boy enters the world.

But as it turns out, one of the first things I discovered in my research was that over the past decade the rate of circumcision of male infants in the U.S. has plummeted from 90% to 50%. This statistic stands even as the vast majority of other nations in the world have all but eliminated the practice as the “norm”.

This caught my attention. After all, having been circumcised as a newborn myself I’d never really given it much thought. I, like so many others, had accepted it as “normal”.

Well, upon doing due diligence to the topic I was utterly shocked by what I discovered.

Circumcision is decidedly not the “simple, painless procedure that only took a minute” that we often assume it is.

The amount of tissue that is removed from the biologically natural penis is way more than I ever knew. Check it out, guys. The next time you’re in the shower take a look at the “railroad tracks” on the ventral side of your unit (where the urethra passes through). That’s a scar, dude.

Further, as it turns out the foreskin plays a crucial role in sexual enjoyment for both the man and woman. When it’s removed, so is that potential for the ultimate sexual satisfaction we were born with. Here is an objective study that shows this to be true.

Next, because of the actual physiological nature of the foreskin, removing it does not simply involve “clearing away some extra skin”. In fact, it is viscerally attached to the shaft and the glans of the penis in a way that creates a mucous membrane underneath.

This means that it has to be peeled backwards away from the head of the penis in order to be removed. If you’ve got your thinking cap on, you’re already shuddering at the thought of this.

Worse, over 50% of all children who endure the procedure do so with minimum (if any) anesthesia, presumably due to concerns over “infant safety”. And even kids who are supposedly numbed down ahead of time tend to show clear indications that any anesthesia they received was clearly not sufficient.

And finally…the clincher: There is no established, proven medical reason to perform this procedure.. Most counterclaims cite cleanliness issues, which is ironic since the country with the highest incidence of infant male circumcision (the U.S.) is also perhaps the one most obsessed with taking several showers per day. All kidding aside, effective hygiene of the uncircumcised penis is far from complicated.

Ultimately, you ask most North American parents why they elected to have the procedure performed, the vast majority will tell you it was because “it’s just normal to”, or “so he can look like his dad”. I’ve even heard “because it’s cuter that way”.

I’ve decided to personally do my part in spreading the word about what male infant circumcision truly involves, so that parents everywhere can make an informed decision when their moment comes to make that decision on behalf of their newborn sons.

My new friend Marilyn Milos from NoCirc.org shared a video with me that I’ve posted for you below. Be advised that even though the effort is made to provide a bit of “comic relief” courtesy of Penn and Teller, parts of this are very difficult to watch–especially when they show the actual procedure being performed.

Nonetheless, I urge you to watch it–especially if you are planning to be a parent anytime in the future:

Make no mistake, I fully get that some circumcisions are performed on religious grounds. That’s the way it is.

But in a world where the very worthy cause of abolishing female circumcision takes center stage, at the very least we owe it to our sons to let them make their own decision about cutting their penises or not. I didn’t even pierce my daughter’s ears when she was a baby, and many other parents don’t either…even as they take infant male circumcision for granted. So you can see how important an issue this is for parents to be informed about.

By the way, if you are indeed anticipating the hospital birth of a son in the near future, make sure you bring this topic up with your attending physician. Amazingly, we know of at least one boy who was circumcised without the parents even having been asked. Perhaps this isn’t so amazing after all when one considers that circumcision is a billable procedure, of course.

If anything, it’s my sincere hope to have caught your attention today. Infant male circumcision really is an area where the vast majority of us really are under-informed.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

Chick Whispering: Can You Really Figure Women Out?

Chick Whispering by Scot McKay Well, if you’re a guy you can’t exactly crawl inside a woman’s skin and become one in order to find out what’s truly on her mind and what motivates her (at least not usually).

But that’s not to say you necessarily have to be completely lost when it comes to gaining some true insight into understanding women better.

That’s right. You can forget the “old school” thinking that women are a “question surrounded by a quandary, wrapped in an enigma”.

Maybe you’ve lived your entire life assuming there was no chance of figuring women out. I’m here to tell you that you’ve been lied to all this time.

After all, isn’t it true that both genders tend to pronounce their own kind as “simple” and/or “easy to figure out”?

What if all it took this entire time was getting outside of our own desires and agendas and simply taking the time to observe and to process the kind of behaviors and mindsets we see time and time again in women on a regular basis?

Maybe that all sounds complicated, but it doesn’t have to be. I’ve just release an entire package on understanding women better called Chick Whispering. Watch this video for the complete lowdown:

You Can Begin Understanding Women Better...Starting Within The Next Five Minutes

Chick Whispering started out as a 214-page e-book, but has since developed into the definitive program on understanding women featuring ten extra content modules as well. But I’ve still kept the price point at $47.

You’ve said you want more high-quality programs at a price that is accessible to as many guys as possible. Chick Whispering flat-out delivers. And, of course, results are still guaranteed by my unconditional 365 day money-back promise.

Chick Whispering was, of course, sponsored by The Chick Whisperer podcast. Therefore its no coincidence that I got a fresh new episode of the show in the editing stages right now. As fortune would have it, I got one of the most respected women in the world of men’s dating and seduction advice to co-host this show–specifically to talk about this topic: “Are women really so complicated?” Stay tuned…

Be Good,

Scot McKay

The X & Y Communications Asia Tour 2009 Kicks Off

Been There, Done That, Bought The T-Shirt OK, let’s face it. In order to “go on vacation” Emily and I pretty much need to get out of town.

Actually, we pretty much need to get out of the country. That’s just the way it is around here.

But then again, when you love your job as much as we do, there’s really no hardline differentiation between “work” and “play”. So when we planned our latest global escapade a few months ago, we thought about how we could combine some real adventure (aka “R & R” in our vernacular) with the opportunity to learn a lot and, of course…shoot LOTS of video and do LOTS of interviews.

So it’s off to the Pacific Rim with our happies.

We’re splitting today, actually. The Mist Enshrouded Mountain-Top Fortress That Is X & Y Communications will be entrusted to “Brutus The Liquid Metal Housesitter” and his trusty Rottweiler “Killer” (well not really, but close) and away we go.

After a “short hop” from San Antonio to New York City, we catch the express to Beijing, China where we plan on hangin’ out at the Great Wall, taking some amazing video and meeting some terrific people.

Then, it’s off to Thailand where we can’t wait to ~~eat~~ enjoy the rich Thai culture and, again, talk to lots of folks. Look for vids from the infamous “Sky Bar” in Bangkok, remote natural reserves and an “undisclosed beach location”.

After that, we get to spend the day in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; where we’ll visit the Petronas Tower and take in the rich culture of that country (which we assume are unrelated events).

KL is actually a built-in stopover on the way to Hong Kong, where we’ll close out the trip. HK is a place that has always been on our “must see” list and yet another incredible opportunity to talk to people and do interviews.

On the “rebound”, we’ll have some time in New York and then it’s straight back to San Antonio with our ragged, jetlagged selves.

All told, we’ll be gallivanting around the Northern Hemisphere from today until September 15th. So all of this is long for “our phones are turned off, and we probably won’t be Twittering as much and/or answering e-mails with such razor-sharp precision for a couple of weeks.” But when we DO Tweet over the course of the next couple of weeks, we’ll make it count…you can bet on that.

On the flip side of all this Papa is going to be well-rested and WAY, WAY less cranky. And we’re pretty sure you’ll get some kickin’ video blogs and podcast joy out of the transaction.

Meanwhile, normal X & Y Communications operations are business as usual, of course. Victor and his first-class Customer Service Team are at your service processing orders and taking names with their typical legendary precision.

Talk to you soon.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

Interracial Dating: What to Do and What to Expect

The inspiration for this article came as I traced my personal evolution over the last 12 years. In 1997, I was forced to re-evaluate the lenses through which I viewed the world as I moved from the middle-class Cleveland suburb of my upbringing to the Ivy League where I encountered all races, cultures, and religions.

And whenever people mix, attraction happens.

What is “interracial”? I won’t get into biological or social constructs of race. For the purpose of this article, “interracial dating” refers to dating into a distinct cultural community other than one’s own. A white man dating an African- or Asian-American woman is dating interracially, but a white man dating a “fresh-off-the-boat” white woman from a closely-knit Eastern European immigrant community may experience more pronounced cultural differences.

Why date interracially? Examine your own motivations. Do women of other races fit your standard of beauty better than your own? Is it the lure of the exotic or forbidden? Is it the challenge of relating to a new group of people? Maybe more than one of the above, since the ideas of “self” and “outsider” are deeply ingrained into the human psyche. I won’t critique or psychoanalyze you, but you need to be honest with your own motivations, more on that below.

Continue reading “Interracial Dating: What to Do and What to Expect”

Why There Won’t Be A Newsletter About What Happened In Pittsburgh

I’m sure you’ve read the news about the unfortunate and tragic events that unfolded in Suburban Pittsburgh on Tuesday night.

My sincerest condolences go out to the victims, their families, and anyone else directly affected.

One particularly unfortunate part of the story is that the gunman, George Sodini, left a blog chronicling his premeditation of the crime and his motivation for doing it in lurid, shocking detail. One of the most consistent themes within the context of what he wrote was his failure with women.

So as you might imagine, I’ve been flooded with e-mails asking my take on what happened and/or asking me to draw parallels between what Mr. Sodini was struggling with and what thousands of frustrated guys deal with on a daily basis.

But I will not be indulging in the latter. And my take on the tragic occurrence Tuesday night is simply this:

No matter how frustrated you may be with women right now, you are NOT like George Sodini.

Continue reading “Why There Won’t Be A Newsletter About What Happened In Pittsburgh”

It’s About Freakin’ Time: The Brand New DeserveWhatYouWant.com Site

If you haven’t had a chance to check out the BRAND NEW version of the main website, it has been live for a little more than 24 hours now. If you’ve visited the site in the past, I think you’re in for a welcome surprise–starting with the addition of VIDEO and PICTURES. There are also a BUNCH of new features and resources now built-in for you.

Take a look and let me know what you think:

www.deservewhatyouwant.com

You’re going to see us focus on “real results for real guys” even more fully than we have in the past. Lately I’ve become absolutely more convinced than ever that the VAST MAJORITY of us out there are pretty normal men…go figure.

Yet, any resources on the practical, effective way to get better with women apart from going after the “clubber” lifestyle, becoming a pickup artist, and/or subscribing to a plethora of new-age buzzwords seem to be VERY RARE.

But I know some of you out there still like to shoot pool, listen to the rock station, go fishing, hit the trails and/or park a ’10 Camaro next to the pickup truck in your garage.

You’re evolved and refined, but still a real man to the core. And it’s time to succeed with the highest quality women on Earth, because they’re waiting for us to show up.

This new site’s for you. Grab a cold one and enjoy.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

P.S. Yes. That’s an X & Y Communications toolbar in that screenshot above. You can get one of your own for free right here.

New Video Featuring Real-World Success Stories

OK, you know it’s a busy day when a complete, 100% overhaul to the main X & Y Communications website takes second billing.

But that’s the kind of day this is.

After all, we announced a photo contest in the last newsletter for guys, and we’ve chosen the winners. What’s more, we’ve already produced a video featuring the results:

Now for the benefit of you all who aren’t newsletter subscribers (even though you should be) the contest was very simple: Send me your best pic of yourself with a high quality woman.

So you betcha: Every single pic you see in that video above is 100% real and contributed by readers of the newsletter, Twitter followers, podcast listeners and/or Facebook friends.

No models. No actors. Just real-world results from real guys (and the real women who made it possible).

Now if you read tonight’s newsletter, I promised to introduce you to the winners. For sure, everyone who contributed a pic that made it to the video is getting a copy of my newest and yet-to-be-released book Chick Whispering.

But there are two Grand Prize Winners who stood out:

First, there’s Hugo. I kid you not, Hugo must have send me 20 or 25 different “entries”, and every one of them knocked me out.

As you can see from the “boxing gloves” picture below, the knockouts are frequent occurrences, obviously. In case you’re wondering about that pic, by the way, it was a little over-the-top for the video which is why I went with another one of his pics (shown).

But nonetheless, what really got my attention about the “boxing glove” pic was where it was taken. That’s not some sleazy club, gentlemen. That’s his kitchen.

Add in the simple fact that Hugo sent me a ton more like unto these (including that third pic you see here just for good measure), and he walked off with the victory.

Nice job, Hugo.

Next, Hector. “Hector The Collector” to be precise. At least that’s what he refers to himself as in his Internet marketing videos on Facebook.

Well, that’s a first-class hottie that Hector’s hangin’ with in his winning photo. No doubt.

But now it’s time to tell you the real reason why Hector won.

It goes something like this. You see, I have this thing for guys who overcome “limiting beliefs” and/or challenging obstacles that life throws at them.

Hector classifies. According to him, he has lost one hundred and fifty pounds in the last two years or so. He also claims he has “about 50 more to go”.

So if Hector can win with women, what’s your excuse?

Way to go Hector…you’re a winner around here any day of the week.

Great job by everyone who entered. And yes…we’ll be running another contest soon.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

Why The New Disney/Pixar Movie “Up” Rocks

Carl And Ellie Rule Today I finally got around to seeing Up, the latest Disney/Pixar release.

I have to admit that I knew next to nothing about the flick prior to actually checking it out, except that: 1) It was Pixar, and therefore a “must see”, and… 2) …about two dozen people have called or e-mailed me telling me that Emily and I needed to see it.

Sometimes it’s sort of fun to go into a movie not at all knowing what to expect. This was one such occasion.

All it took was the first fifteen minutes actually. By then I was completely and utterly emotionally exhausted.

Without giving away the entire plot, there is about a five or eight minute segment there at the beginning that chronicles a lifelong relationship between a man and a woman (Carl and Ellie) as it should be.

Now if you’ve seen any Pixar production before, you are already well acquainted with their fanatical attention to detail. The rat-trap pizza delivery truck in Toy Story with “YO” on the tailgate comes to mind, as does Sally The Porsche’s insanely accurate low-RPM engine note in Cars. Only a 911’s legendary flat-six sounds like that. And as women go, she’s all 911.

And without giving too much away, let’s just say Pixar continued the tradition with great dignity in Up…particularly in that first segment.

It’s far from a comprehensive treatise on relationship management, or anything. But whoever wrote the screenplay and whoever animated it had clearly been in love before.

What’s more, they must have been in love and been in a healthy long-term relationship before.

Every little nuance jam-packed in that brief stretch of film is mind-blowing. It’s a rapid-fire animated depiction of how two people who genuinely love and respect each other live their lives together.

If you have any emotion in your soul whatsover, you are left breathless afterward. Emily was in tears, clutching my hand firmly as she sobbed. And if you know her, that’s not typically her style.

I’ll admit I was fighting back the water works myself. Pixar just flat-out gets it.

Simply put, any man who believes that spending one’s life with one great woman is for sissies might want to see this flick, unless he’s dead-set against changing his opinion. Then he needs to make it a point to skip it.

And furthermore, any wannabe PUA types out there who think the ultimate goal for their relationships with women is to notch their bedposts as many times as possible might want to avoid seeing Up also…lest they come face-to-face with what depth looks like in a long-term relationship.

But if you are in a relationship that matters to you–or aspire to–do yourself a favor and go see Up. Walk out after fifteen minutes for all I care. But see the beginning.

Now granted, if you’ve seen the movie Pixar indeed plays a dirty little trick on you over the course of the rest of the movie. At the beginning sequence you’re supposed to believe that something was actually missing from Carl and Ellie’s life together…and that the opportunity to fulfill on it was tragically taken.

Yes, I fell for it. I silently ruminated upon the fact that I’m glad that Emily and I have made it a point to go on “adventures” together, particularly insofar as traveling and seeing the world.

But at the end, Pixar takes the overall message to a whole new level by demonstrating that love in itself is the adventure. It’s what life is all about. And it’s not to be missed.

And neither is Up…if you think you’re man enough to handle it.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

Is There A Problem With Chicks?

A Couple Of Hot Chicks...Or Warm, At Least. First of all, rest assured I have no problem with women. We love women around here.

Actually, I have no problem with chicks, either.

And by that I don’t mean the fuzzy future KFC delights seen to your left . In fact, I’m not even referring to actual female human beings.

I’m talking about the very term “chicks” itself.

But apparently someone else does have a problem with “chicks”.

Granted, it doesn’t happen often, but every once in a while I get an angry e-mail purporting that I should immediately cease and desist from usage of the word in my favorite context for usage thereof.

Almost invariably it’s the name of the podcast, The Chick Whisperer, that gets them going.

Continue reading “Is There A Problem With Chicks?”

Letter From A Reader: Hugging, Holding Hands, And That’s It [Video]

Recently I received an e-mail from Matt, who has been hanging out with a woman who seems interested in hugging and holding hands…but not a whole lot more than that, if anything. Apparently, based on the letters I receive, this is a problem that lots of guys face at one point or another.

So what gives? Here’s the full message from Matt, along with my response:

Got any comments or stories to share? Let’s hear them!

Be Good,

Scot McKay