What Women REALLY Want: If You Think It’s MONEY, Read This…

Posted on May 12, 2009
Filed Under Being Cool, Dating Coaching, Letters From Readers, Men Attracting Women |

OK, here is a letter from a woman that I felt particularly compelled to share. If you’ve just finished reading my latest newsletter, then this is the SECOND e-mail from a woman you’ve seen written in response to what we’re talking about in The Master Plan.

The message is clear, gentlemen. Women want their men back. And unlike “underground” seduction tactics, we talk about what really works with women in broad daylight (no pun intended).

Does it make perfect sense that women just might rave about dating advice that really works? Does it also make perfect sense that if you’ve got to hide your strategies from women they might not work? Man, I really hope so by now.

But just in case you’re still on the fence, read this:

LETTER FROM A WOMAN

Hi Scot,

I find your newsletters interesting, and from a female perspective, I totally agree with the “Big Four” characteristics you mention (masculinity, confidence,inspiring confidence in women, and character).

I’ve met some men who on paper looked like great catches, but I ultimately decided not to pursue a relationship with them because something just didn’t feel right. Looking at those four characteristics you mention, in each case, the man didn’t have one or more of the four characteristics.

There was A* who is a wealthy financial whizz (he drives Ferraris and Aston Martins, travels overseas a lot on amazing holidays, and in the mind of the a lot of men is the ultimate Alpha Male in terms of what he had to offer women materially). The problem was, although he had two of the characteristics - masculinity and confidence, he failed to inspire confidence in me. And in my opinion he lacked character.

He was a good friend of mine before he left his wife and decided he wanted to date me. But I knew (because he told me) that he had never been faithful to a woman in his life, and he made it quite clear while he was in a relationship with his wife, that he was open to cheating on
her with me.

I just didn’t trust him and I knew if I did become involved with him, that I would always wonder whether would cheat on me as well. So I didn’t pursue a relationship with him, even though he wanted to date me after he left his wife.

Then there was B* who is a billionaire, working in the financial sector. I met him online, and at first I found his attention flattering. But then I started feeling that he was controlling as he wouldn’t give me any space. He was in touch with me all day long via text messages, and it gave me the impression that he was insecure. It seemed like he felt that to stay connected to me in the relationship he had to be in electronic communciation all day long. I found it exhausting after a while.

Also, he wanted to rush me into a sexual relationship, and got angry with me when I asked him to slow things down. He took me out for amazing meals at fancy restaurants, but I found the way he talked about his money all the time rather off-putting. He’d tell me about his million dollar deals, and it came across to me as if he was trying to sell himself to me.

He told me about an expensive home he owned in an exclusive area and said how it was a real “shag pad” and I started realising that the only thing this guy had going for him was that he was rich. He thought he could flash his wealth in front of women, and that’s all he needed to do to impress them.

After he took me out on our first date, I thanked him for the meal, but I didn’t contact him the next day to thank him again, so finally he sent me a text message saying, “Well, how did you enjoy our date?”. He then told me that he had expected me to get in touch with him the next day to say thank you and I hadn’t, which made me wonder what his problem was, as there was no way I was going to chase after him.

But he expected some kind of return on his “investment” (of buying me dinner) straight away. I’d say he lacked two of the big four qualities - inspiring confidence in women, and character; although I guess he was masculine and confident - but not in a reassuring way.

I felt like he was a bulldozer - a successful man so used to getting his own way in his business life that he transferred that attitude to his dating life. And I think his confidence masked deep issues he had with women. A truly confident man is strong, not controlling.

Then there was C*, a man who owns a successful computer business. He was very romantic at first - planning lovely dates and being very complimentary. But I noticed that he spoke often about his previous failed relationships. He was divorced, and clearly still in a lot of pain regarding his ex-wife.

And then one day, he phoned me up and decided to “confess” all his dating failings. He told me about his awful dating experience, and then said, at the end of the call, “Now I hope you don’t hold this against me? I know what women are like.”

Not a propitious start to a relationship! Anyhow, he lacked the ability to inspire confidence in women, although I wouldn’t say he lacked masculinity or character. He came across as confident initially, but then he confessed his dating failures and it made him seem like the confidence was just a front.

The man I’m currently dating is a Big Four man. He’s masculine, confident, inspires confidence in me and also has great character. He’s the least wealthy
out of all the men I’ve dated (he’s just graduated and is working in a training capacity), but he’s the man I like the most.

Guys often think that women are only interested in money, but that’s not the case. Of course there are gold digging women out there, but for me personally, a man has to have a whole lot of other qualities before I’ll have a relationship with him. Of course, I like men who have drive and ambition, because who likes a lazy man?

But other qualities are just as important. What I like most about my boyfriend is that he makes me feel safe. It’s as simple as that. I can’t quite put my finger on why he makes me feel safe - he just does. Maybe it’s the Big Four characteristics combined? Hmmmm.

I thought I’d write to you about my experiences…

Kind regards,

Annette

The Master Plan

Gentlemen, Annette’s message is just another in what is appearing to be an endless stream of women saying “enough is enough”. They’re sick of pretenders (even billionaire pretenders) and want their men back.

How will it feel when you are the guy who ends up a woman of amazing quality who has been courted by doctors, financiers and even billionaires? Can you believe that being a man who truly gets what the “Big Four” is all about can trump those heavy-hitters and succeed with women where they could not?

The Master Plan is different. Very different. And it’s all about succeeding with the greatest women on Earth, not just any woman.

Be Good,

Scot McKay

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3 Comments

Comment by Claudia

2009-05-18 03:48:48

I couldn’t agree more.

Me too I’ve had my share of millionaires but what’s the use of all that boodle when a guy doesn’t know how to treat a woman?

My current man who’m I’ve been with for many moons is just the way I like them: ambitious, strong, humoros, has a plan and knows how to use a tool box and I mean that literally and not pornographically.

Right now he’s in the bathroom sweating, building me a big fancy round bath with his own hands.

I’ll admit that could be unfair but then I’m quite happy to do all the girls stuff like laundry and plant flowers. And did I mention he knows how to fix my washing machine?

I’m certainly not old fashioned - I love earning my own money and as you’ve noticed I also have an opnion which is not humble!

Okay not every man is a Mr. Fix it but at least be a recognisable male.

The world is blessed having a guy like you standing to your masculinity.

Claudia’s last blog post: Do Men find Motherhood Sexy?

 

Comment by Scot McKay

2009-05-19 07:12:49

Thanks for that, Claudia. I think a lot of women would agree.

 

Comment by Maruska

2009-10-05 12:37:09

I have bookmarked this page, I was searching such a post for a long time and finally found it, thank you. Flowers Edmonton

 

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• Scot McKay is a professional dating coach and founder of X & Y Communications.

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