Comments on: Train Game

By: DaveW

DaveW — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 01:16:49 +0000

Hey Sebastian, in this situation i would just tap her on the arm (or not) depending on the seating arrangements or whatever and just politely ask (with solid eye contact) “excuse me, is this seat taken” (and a friendly smile) now dont go out and do this in a begging way, cool and confident is what you’re after. She will instantly know you’re attracted to her, which may help the interaction along. Now if she makes up an excuse on the spot why its taken or if she says that there are plenty of other seats spare you could turn it into a bit of a joke and say “ha ha you’re pretty funny, hows it going I’m Dave” and just sit down, now this is where you need to calibrate, if she smiles its ok, if she isnt smiling and looks really uncomfortable, then you need to excuse yourself.

Best of luck mate, let me know how it goes

Dave

By: thaiyellow

thaiyellow — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 22:26:15 +0000

i have to say~ i am not put off by a blokes “approach anxiety”~ i find it rather sweet. And I do my best to contribute to the conversation in a fun and light way hoping he takes the pressure off himself.

i have had my own approach anxieties when i spontaneously start chatting to a guy, or ask him out.

but i find the focus on getting to know another over-rides the nerves, cause technically i am not “interested in them” yet; i’m chatting to see if they could be someone i would be interested in (thx scot for validating this approach).

so if the guy gets all full of himself thinking “she so wants me” i can be in my head going “get over yourself- it’s called getting to know someone!”
thaiyellow’s last blog post: Another Personality Test: Your Answers Indicate A Hare Role

By: Scot McKay

Scot McKay — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 13:53:33 +0000

Sebastian, that cracked me up.

In that case, I’d just go right up and talk to her. You can’t wait AT ALL in those situations or it really will look creepy.

One of the things that isn’t talked about nearly enough is how most women seriously don’t comprehend the concept of “approach anxiety” in a guy. They really don’t understand why a guy would be afraid to talk to them. Sounds crazy, but true.

As such, if you hesitate you just come off like a creep who needed extra time to plot something evil rather than a guy who needed a moment (or ten) to collect his thoughts. Actually, even if she DID see it for what it was it wouldn’t look good either, right?

Also, Thaiyellow reminds us of a great point–it’s all about safety and security.

By: thaiyellow

thaiyellow — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 11:30:05 +0000

i would think:
a) he could be interested in me (the approach has started)

b) he may want to sit near another person (we are social beings)

c) he may try and hit on me (he is a “chaser?)

d) maybe he is a serial killer (they do take trains)

thaiyellow’s last blog post: Another Personality Test: Your Answers Indicate A Hare Role

By: Sebastian Flyte

Sebastian Flyte — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 10:29:47 +0000

Key post.

But what about the first sitdown? Many trains, especially the later ones, have piles of free seats. It can seem unusual to sit down next to or across from a girl when there are so many other free seats, like the guy in the restroom with about twenty free urinals who chooses the one right beside you. Any solution?

Sebastian Flyte’s last blog post: Die Well

By: Style Habits

Style Habits — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:36:14 +0000

Definitely you have a captive audience in situations like that and as long as you can carry a friendly conversation you do well, just make sure not stare with a gazed look.

Style Habits’s last blog post: What Every Man Ought to Know About Layering Clothes

By: thaiyellow

thaiyellow — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 11:52:46 +0000

if a bloke approached me in most of these ways i would get a kick out of it.

however, asking which stop I was getting off at would be too much for me…but then I like my space; and i’d be cautious, he could be “a well with lotion in the basket” kind of guy.

i would lie.

i don’t know this guy Bundy was a real charmer

so if i was asked “do you have far to travel?” i would feel less pressured to disclose my personal info, and being cautious, i would tell him how “long” i expected to be on the train/bus for.

besides~ he might be chasing, not choosing, and no guy is knowing what i feel is personal info until i’ve decided which way he is “walking”.

thaiyellow’s last blog post: Another Personality Test: Your Answers Indicate A Hare Role