Step Two To An Online Profile That Stands Out [Part Two Of Two]

Posted on February 17, 2008
Filed Under Men Attracting Women, Online Dating, Women Attracting Men |

In part one of this series we discovered a major reason why most people have boring, generic online profiles. Simply put, we do what we’re told. When asked to write “About me and who I’m looking for” (a la Match.com), that’s exactly what we do.

As in–that’s what all of us do, it seems.

So as mentioned last time, we already know that you can dramatically increase your online profile’s effectiveness by rephrasing the questions more interestingly.

But I promised yet another killer way to make your profile read differently. And this one is used by so few people out there that you will instantly separate yourself from the herd should you try what I’m about to tell you.

You see, the inherent problem is that the profile narrative is a writing assignment…literally. Filling it out reminds us–at best–of completing a job application.

And at worst, it feels a lot like writing an “essay” did back in junior high.

So subconsciously, many of us write as if we’re going to be graded. It’s almost as if someone at Match.com has a big red pen ready to scrawl disparaging notes in the virtual margin of our profiles.

Either that or, well…some people just never were all that good with essays at all so they’re starcrossed from step one. If you can’t spell, punctuate and/or agree in gender, number and case…well then you’re hurtin’ for certain.

And let’s face it…MOST of us (except for the freakish weirdos amongst us who think blogging is fun) really don’t look forward to writing “essays” anyway.

So what to do? After all, without a killer profile narrative you’re online presence suffers in a big way.

Well you could hire me to write something for you. But the problem is that I don’t do “profile rewrites”.

I do, however, teach men and women how to transform their mediocre profiles into expressions of greatness. All the time.

You see, were I to write your blasted “essay” for you the real problem might actually be exacerbated rather than helped.

Why?

Simple. Because whether I write your profile or you write it yourself with your head lost in “Sixth Grade Essayland” the issue is the same: It just flat-out won’t be YOU TALKING.

As much time as I spend writing stuff, I am no match for YOUR authentic self. And for that matter, neither is your mindset when lapsing into how you were trained as a child to compose theme papers.

The solution?

What you do instead of WRITING your profile at all is…you SPEAK your profile. Because when you SPEAK, your true self is portrayed.

If you have a digital voice recorder around the house, you’re all set. If you don’t, they’re about $60 retail (for a really good one, at that). Fortuitously, the chances are even pretty good that your mobile phone has a voice recorder feature.

Speak what you want to express in your profile narrative into the voice recorder. Then transcribe it. That’s all.

And don’t let me catch you making a “crib sheet” with notes scrawled on it. In order for this exercise to make sense, you must start only with general thoughts in your head rather than hardcopy notes or some memorized “lines”.

Speak from the heart. Remember how you rephrased the “essay question” itself (as talked about in Part One) and talk to those thoughts.

As retarded as it sounds, if you want to talk to a friend while you record or even pull up the profile of someone you potentially like and talk to it, go for it. Then again, if talking into thin air with your eyes glazed over does it for you, so be it. Whatever puts you into the flow.

When you are through, play it all back and write it down as you spoke it…COMPLETE with the “you knows” and “I’ll tell you whats”. Use the spell checker and by all means punctuate appropriately, but don’t correct your “grammar” or the wordsmithing itself. If you can upload the digital file to your computer as an MP3 and pause it as it plays that’s even better. If it’s kind of long, you can even use freeware like Audacity to edit it before you write. You have options.

My educated guess is that your profile narrative–when completed–will sound exactly like YOU talking. Probably because it IS you talking…duh.

And it will stand out from the sea of generic wannabes without a doubt.

Your responses will go up because your profile narrative will be REAL. You won’t have to write crap like “no games” because you’ve already DEMONSTRATED that concept. in real-time. Fantastic stuff.

And when you actually meet someone, you’ll not have to worry that you’ll seem completely different in real life than you did in your profile. Sure the pics will have to match also, but you already know that.

Go and give this a try and email me your success stories at scot@datetoorder.com.

BTW, if you are a guy there’s 11.5 hours MORE targeted strategy on how to dominate your metro area for you in the Online Dating Domination program. It takes a strategy that’s tight as a drum to call your own shots online, but it can absolutely be done…and in less time than you think. If online dating is frustrating you, imagine how it would feel to write women you actually WANT TO MEET…and HEAR BACK FROM THEM more often than not. What would your social life look like if you were able to harness online dating into being your tool like that…rather than vice-versa?

And ladies, after literally months of work Emily is very, very close to releasing her brand-new program called Click With Him. We literally have the very last of 17 audio programs in the editing stage, and if you click the link above you can check out the basics already and even pre-order. Among what she has in store is a 30-Day Plan To Finding A Great Man Online (which she can back up) and a full-scale top-secret session on how to become the kind of woman a man wants to commit to. Believe me when I tell you there’s something to what she talks about.

Emily even had me sit down and spill how to spot great men behind mediocre profiles. Hey…not every guy reads this blog, let alone has Online Dating Domination on his iPod, okay?

I’ll be talking again to you soon…literally. Then next post will be video.

Be Good,

Scot

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• Scot McKay is a professional dating coach and founder of X & Y Communications.

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