PP, sorry to hear about your outrageous Match.com stories. Unfortunately, there are indeed some ignorant Americans out there who have “Middle Eastern Phobia”. It’s kind of like what many Russian immigrants still experience.

I would suspect this factor is even heightened when said ignorant Americans are traveling overseas.

Don’t take it personally. I promise that when you get more online dating experience under your belt you get much better at weeding out the wrong women.

my cousins are of Chinese heritage, but choose to identify as Australian, not Chinese-Australian~ they have no idea about the culture of their mother and grandparents, yet “white” people insist on identifying them as Chinese.

as to your second date, i would find kissing and cuddling on the first date “too forward” and definitely smothering…but then that’s just me…and yeah, she sounded like a woman with baggage.

i don’t mind helping someone “unpack” their bags-to a degree. but it’s so annoying when they try to get YOU to carry the “bag”. I’m always like- your the one who wants to carry it around, leave it under this tree here if your tired, I’m sure it’ll be here when you get back

btw Gibran is so one of my favorite poets-despite his controversial lifestyle; Rumi is definitly my fav.” keep us from bitter company!”

thaiyellow’s last blog post: Another Personality Test: Your Answers Indicate A Hare Role

1st date, I meet her in a salsa club. First thing she tells me is that “you can’t be English, you’re Pakistani”. Bloody fucking hell… I’m half Lebanese and half Persian by extraction, born and raised in Britain. On explaining this to her, she said that putting this in my profile would be helpful. I informed her that she, an American of Korean extraction, didn’t exactly look like a stereotypical American either, but “it’s a good thing, as stereotypes don’t mean anything to me”. She then asked me to produce id — that’s right, she was CARDING me to verify my nationality. In any event, that essentially ended all contact from my end. The next day, she emailed me back saying she had a good time, but my “lies” lead her to dismiss me as a potential mate.

The second girl… also off match, turned out to live in my complex, indeed my building. On our first date, I had a glass of wine (which is par for course at dinner for me). She asked if I was alcoholic; my response was that “alcoholics suffer from drink, I enjoy every sip”. That turned me off a little. After dinner, she came up to my place to spend more time with me, as she said it was easier to talk in the quiet of my place rather than the restaurant. So we talked for a few hours, watched a movie, cuddled, kissed, et al. The next night, I was out with my friends and she wanted to come by again. I told her to keep it to the weekends as I’m a busy man. The next weekend, we were together the entire time at her place. The weekend after, I was out of town and she texted me at least 100 times telling me she misses me, loves me, looking forward to my return, etc. I thought this was a bit forward, so I got home and called her on it. She then told me that she had a “sex addiction” and was a recovering alcoholic. I told her that I couldn’t deal with her smothering me and that ended that, or so I thought. I take an employee shuttle to and from work and her flat overlooks the driveway. She would wait on her terrace, when I would get off the shuttle, she’d come up. This happened for about a month, at which point, I threatened to call the cops on her, because “this is not normal”. It then stopped. My match.com subscription expired in late November. Over Christmas, I took a few weeks off, visited family in the Middle East and started a six-month assignment in London. She found out my UK mobile and called it to tell me she had an “emotional affair” while we were dating and that she was wondering if I’d be willing to forgive her for it. Now, we’d broken up 2 months earlier, with my telling her to sleep with her programme sponsor because she seemed to be talking to him about things I’d have assumed you’d talk to your significant other about. And, that’s my experience with match.

Two weeks later on campus she spots me, and was like “OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED LIKE I TOTALLY THOUGHT YOU FELL IN.” And… she proceeded to tell her friend with her at the time, or someone who was just there, that is left to be decided still, about how I was the best date ever and she went on and on and on. For four more years, I saw her, and avoided, giving hints, and she kept coming. Even at the gym, people would duck when she came in, and she would just start talking.

One woman I dated told me she had gone out on a date with a guy who literally disagreed with everything she said, telling her she was wrong about whatever she commented on.

As in EVERYTHING.

She even mentioned something about the company she worked for and he told her she was wrong. [laughs]

At exactly ten minutes into the date she literally got up and walked away.

He called her several times leaving messages wondering what happened.

he didn’t seem plzd at all that i was smiling by the way his mouth sneered(…? what the?)

he kept giving my clothing what seemed to be disapproving stares (not that i hav to justify myself but their were knee length tights under the sarong mini and my knitted top came to my wrists- ok bit of an open back~ my style that day was tropical with class).

there was a comment about women who “wear too much make-up”, with a chin tilt toward me (hello..are u my dad? and like i am wearing mascara and lip gloss!)

he raved about women friends in his life, and I mean he went on…

I had plans for the afternoon (later, but i so wanted to run by now!). He scoffed! really, when I politely said that I had to go now.

methought at the time that he seemed to have so much more invested in the “coffee date” and was resentful that I was not on the same page. I could be wrong. Maybe it was my hair…

anyways, later that afternoon I had date with another guy off the rsvp site. we hit it off, he ended up cooking fish for us at his place, and i crashed in his spare room. we dated on and off for a couple of months (he got complicated so we stopped) but he gave me a puppy before he left for inter-state. we are friends, not close one’s but we email now and then with stuff that might be of interest to the other.

thaiyellow’s last blog post: Another Personality Test: Your Answers Indicate A Hare Role