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Ten Days In Mexico [Part Five]

Near The U.S. Border At Nuevo Laredo, Tamps.

We rolled into Monterrey, Nuevo Leon around 1:30 am. We didn’t get to sleep until 6:00.

Wild partying? Hardly.

It simply took that long to get a hotel.

The first two places we checked were packed to the gills. It turned out that the largest IT convention of the entire year happened to be taking place that weekend, and every hotel in the southern part of town was booked solid.

Suffice it to say the IT company hadn’t reserved my room in advance. This made perfect sense since I don’t work for any of them anymore.

Logically speaking, we decided to head to the northern part of town for more options.

Now, if you’ll recall, we’ve already discussed how “logic” and “Mexico” are two concepts that don’t mesh particularly well.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part Five]”

Ten Days In Mexico [Part Four]

Emily’s uncle Manuel lives in the urban equivalent of the Batcave–or is that “Gruta De Murcielagos“?

Either way, it’s impressive.

All that’s visible from the city street (if Delicias classifies as a “city”) is a simple garage door. Once it opens automatically, you drive down a hallway paved with Mexican tile that’s at least as long as a football field.

At the end is a massive sanctuary with walls on all sides of at least 75 feet high, and naturally lit from above. You feel as if you’ve entered into the domain of some villain from an upcoming James Bond flick.

Finding the “secret entrance” to the home itself, we were met by Emily’s aunt Petra, who had decorated the decidedly unique home traditionally. She fed us well and showed us our room, which was easily the most comfortable and well-equipped guest room either of us had seen since…ever.

None of us remember hitting the pillow that night.

The next morning, daylight revealed swingsets, a trampoline and enough high-end barbecue gear to make Bobby Flay jealous.

So if Manuel had designs on taking over the world as the next Bond villain, at least he was going to do so in a “family friendly” manner.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part Four]”

Ten Days In Mexico [Part Three]

In The Middle Of The Mexican 'Outback', Basically

No sooner than I had crossed the intersection I was compelled to slam on the brakes and throw the “Short Bus” into reverse.

Honestly, I had simply proceeded forward from the stop sign normally, as any red-blooded driver would have in a similar situation. Really.

But as it turns out, the Mexican Department Of Transportation (or whatever they call it) has a warped sense of humor.

And no question. Most traffic patterns in Mexico tend to assume that every vehicle that passes through is piloted by a local citizen who knows better by now than to assume anything…like, for example, that the street in front of you is NOT a “one way” street–headed in the OPPOSITE direction.

Well you know what happens when you assume. Some guy from Texas hits town and causes mayhem in the streets.

Sure enough, I was about to have “SEAT” tattooed on my forehead and Emily a “Chevy” symbol tattooed on hers had my reflexes not kicked in.

Who knew? Certainly there weren’t any SIGNS to inform us that what seemed perfectly logical was flat-out ridiculous to suppose.

Fortunately, there was a guy standing on the street corner to whistle at us…after I was already burning rubber in reverse.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part Three]”

Ten Days In Mexico [Part Two]

From Deep In The Heart Of Texas To Deep In The Heart Of Mexico

Hanging out a mile or two from la frontera (the border) is one thing.

Descending past about 30 miles into the “interior” of Mexico is something else completely. And I’m talking both figuratively and literally.

Yeah, in many ways it feels like the “wild, wild west” once you’re beyond the gringo-rich bordertown atmosphere.

But then there’s la aduana, or “customs” as it’s best translated into English.

Now clearly Mexico would rather you not bring your U.S.-registered vehicle into their precious country. In fact, they apparently have more of a phobia of your car for some reason then the State Of Texas, Farmer’s Insurance and GMAC do combined. Whatever their hang-up, it’s obviously an untold calamity worse than your kick-ass symbol of American gas-guzzling extreme being pilfered under cover of the night (or by banditos during broad daylight?) and whisked off to some “chop shop” never to be recovered.

Then again, what does Farmer’s care? Once you’re past la aduana you’re pretty much on your own as far as they’re concerned. This means that a subtle form of low-grade extortion known as “Mexican Auto Insurance” is a must. The cost? Only roughly 8-10 times the cost of equivalent US insurance for a similar coverage period.

Sooner than later, you realize that’s a bargain. After all, one of the most bizarre fundamentals of Mexican culture is that people just flat-out have distinctively less respect for the value of their own lives than I’ve ever seen in any country in the world.

Emily claims that this has a lot to do with the ubiquitous Catholic Church’s teaching that God will take you when he feels like it, and that there’s not much we humans can do about it when “our time” comes.

I think that explanation carries a certain amount of verisimilitude based on what I’ve seen. Hell, if such a philosophy indeed rules the day then it obviously applies to animals also. Mexicano drivers appear to have a shocking propensity for mowing down any vertebrate (human or otherwise) that crosses their asphalt path without so much as a tap on the brakes.

But back to the story.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part Two]”

Ten Days In Mexico [Part One]

Welcome to the first of a multi-part series chronicling the hijinks, escapades and even life-shaking epiphanies experienced on our recent adventure driving into the heart of Mexico. Fair warning…this series isn’t completely focused on dating and seduction advice, but if you read on you’re sure to find plenty of highly applicable information nonetheless. Most of all, I hope you enjoy this series as a quick break from your busy day and from the serious business of life…Cheers.

After A Fair Share Of Paperwork Hassles, It's Wide-Open Road Ahead

“Quieres whisky?”

The tuxedo-clad Mexican waiter catches me off guard.

“Absolutamente“, I answer solemnly but resolutely.

We’re now at the reception after Emily’s cousin’s wedding that, in the unforgettable words of Yogi Berra, “made this day necessary”.

Actually, it’s what inspired the entire trip.

And since we were already through what we had imagined to be the most brutal part of the journey by the time we made it to Ciudad Juarez anyway, we figured we’d do the “deep dive” and say hola to Emily’s relatives further south.

And believe me, the whisky was sounding really good by the time it was offered up.

You see, the previous thirty hours or so had been something else.

For starters, the drive from San Antonio to El Paso is notorious. Let’s just say that the first thing you see when you hit I-10 in San Antonio is a sign that says “El Paso — 538”.

When I say there is nothing in between that sign and the one that says “Welcome To El Paso, Home Of Some Pretty Good Carnitas Tacos”, I’m including the town of Fort Stockton, TX.

Continue reading “Ten Days In Mexico [Part One]”

Dealing With Breakups: Ending A Long-Term Relationship [Part Four Of Four]

Part Four Of A Four Part Series On Breakups For this fourth and final installment in our series on breakups, we’re going to deal specifically with what may be the absolute most difficult situation that anyone who is single ever has to face: breaking off a relationship that has gone on for a long time.

For the sake of clarity here at the beginning, this post is not about how to deal with divorce. As originally stated back in Part One, the concept of ending married relationships is replete with it’s own set of complications and therefore will be considered a wholly separate subject above and beyond what this series has been designed to cover. We’ll limit this particular conversation to ending long-term dating relationships.

So to kick this all off, let’s get a handle on exactly what such long-term dating relationships might look like.

There are as many reasons why two people would remain together for a long time as there are grains of sand on the beach, really. Some long-term relationships are casual or even “off and on” gigs that have carried on for months or even years, no doubt. And as long as both partners are honest and remain uncommitted to anyone else on a monogamous basis, this can be fine for everyone involved, of course.

But clearly, when one partner finds someone else OTHER than the casual partner whom he or she wants to be monogamous with, such casual relationships should end. But man is it difficult to simply cut ties with someone who has been there for so long, even on an offhand basis.

Truly, for many such a scenario represents “crunch time” insofar as deciding what it is he or she wants in life. Is it going to be to have a casual long-term relationship (or several), or go for stability with one person long-term? Unless an open long-term relationship with a primary partner is an option for you, you’ve got to be comfortable with “retirement” from casual dating if you decide to become monogamous with someone. Otherwise, your integrity (and your character, which is one of the “Big Four”, remember) goes down the drain.

The problem with this whole scenario is that when long-term casual relationships end, it often comes out that one partner actually was holding onto unspoken hopes for something more.

Continue reading “Dealing With Breakups: Ending A Long-Term Relationship [Part Four Of Four]”

Dealing With Breakups: Ending Short-Term Relationships [Part Three Of Four]

Part Three Of A Four Part Series On Breakups For the first two segments of this series we focused mainly on the question of “why” a potential breakup would happen.

For this third installment, and for the final one, we’ll be talking more about the “when” factor.

You and I both already know that there’s a big difference between ending relationship that hasn’t been going on all that long versus breaking up when you’ve been seeing each other (or married to each other?) for months or even years.

Or is there?

The answer may very well be, “It depends.” And what it “depends” on is generally the emotional state and/or maturity level of the partners involved.

People can get super wrapped-up in a relationship very, very quickly. In fact, if you are particularly solid in your ability to create attraction while projecting a tantalizing image of high character and irresistible charisma, then you may run into a particularly upsetting problem.

You see, once you become a person who genuinely deserves what he or she wants, you are going to find that people you date even once or twice will literally go on a mission to corral you into the barn, pardner. Preferably now, that is, if not as soon as possible.

As high-quality a problem as this sounds, it can get downright irritating if your own personal plan is to get to know as many MOTOS as you are comfortable with on the way to discovering (over a reasonable amount of time, please) who the right person for you is.

Or, sheesh…maybe you’d like to JUST DATE LOTS OF PEOPLE for now. Period.

Continue reading “Dealing With Breakups: Ending Short-Term Relationships [Part Three Of Four]”

Dealing With Breakups: When Nothing Particularly Heinous Has Happened [Part Two Of Four]

Part Two Of A Four Part Series On Breakups Ideally speaking, each of us should theoretically break up with everyone we ever date…except for one.

And as dark as it sounds, that’s actually a good thing.

I realize that reality isn’t always that uncomplicated, and believe me I have the track record to prove it. But I think you get my drift.

And here’s the deal: Provided you are the kind of person who is generally easy to get along with, and if you’ve had some practice at avoiding utterly poisonous MOTOS, then you are going to be faced with the inevitable: breaking up with someone who hasn’t really done you any harm whatsoever.

You’ve probably been there before already. You start dating someone who attracts you early on, but after some time has passed one of you has decided that he or she really isn’t “feeling it” anymore. Someone is starting to feel a pull towards freedom–or someone else–but this creates a genuinely awkward situation almost every time.

You see, most of us are decent, upstanding people who really don’t get off on trampling other people’s feelings. Especially people we sort of, well…like. Right?

So what happens is that when someone just “isn’t feeling it anymore” for whatever reason, things tend to drag on for longer than they rightly should–all in the name of “not hurting anyone”.

But protracting relationships that aren’t going anywhere only really leads to greater emotional drama down the road. It’s rather like sticking one’s head in the sand.

Case in point. One well-worn “exit strategy” is to tell the other person that he or she “needs some space” or even that they “should date other people”. Such euphemisms are universally code for, “I’m pretty much sick of you and want out, but I don’t know how to do that without completely flooring you.”

I see some of you nodding out there. Don’t shout me down for telling the truth.

Continue reading “Dealing With Breakups: When Nothing Particularly Heinous Has Happened [Part Two Of Four]”

Dealing With Breakups: When Something Heinous Has Happened [Part One Of Four]

Part One Of A Four Part Series On Breakups I’ve been threatening to write this series for a while, but fortunately I didn’t need an ultimatum in order to stick to the plan.

Sounds like a metaphor for a bad relationship, right?

Well, whatever the case, here we go on a full-tilt four part series on breakups.

This is a topic that isn’t covered nearly often enough, but which by my calculations is also a major area of interest to those of you who have written to tell me what you want to hear more about.

The way I see it, the formula is this:

A Question People Are Actually Asking + Not A Whole Lot Of Answers Out There Already = Probably A Good Idea For A Blog Post

So let’s get on it.

The logical way to break down this series into parts is as follows:

When Someone Did Something Heinous

When Nobody Did Anything Particularly Heinous

Ending Short-Term Relationships

Ending Long-Term Relationships

Throughout the process you’ll get the “hows” and the “whys”, featuring some practical steps and ideas.

One caveat before we start, however: I am writing this series in the spirit of dealing with dating relationships rather than marriages. When marital relationships, community property and small children are involved, some of the issues I discuss may require a bit different of a perspective (the notable exception being physical violence–my advice is always going to be to get out in those situations). As such, we’ll save that discussion for another time. Who knows, I may surprise you with a “surprise” Part Five.

So true to the plan, let’s deal with breaking up with someone because a major breach has happened.

Continue reading “Dealing With Breakups: When Something Heinous Has Happened [Part One Of Four]”